by Joey | Oct 27, 2015 | Throwback
Letting go of anything toxic in your life will free you. But know this, identifying the toxic problems and letting them go isn’t easy. You would think it is, but take it from me, it’s really not. It’s freeing, sure. And the freedom is important, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
They say you get to know yourself better when you’re challenged when you’re pushed out of your comfort zone. That’s true. In the last year I’ve been pushed so far outside of whatever comfort zone I used to have, I can’t even remember what it was anymore. It hurt. And it was scary. And there are still some days when I lock myself away to hide the tears, mourning all the toxic things I chose to leave behind.
The reality is, we all have or have had some kind of toxic baggage. Most of us know it’s there. Some of us don’t. But either way, you feel it. Those things you don’t want to do but have to. The anger you’re holding on to for whatever reason. The person you’re refusing to forgive because they don’t deserve it. The friend you feel obligated to keep because of your history but who only ever disappoints you and hurts your feelings. The family tradition you begrudgingly attend despite not having an ounce of desire to be there. Those things, friends? They’re all toxic.
But they wouldn’t be toxic if they were easy to escape. Saying no, walking away, forgiving, and letting go open a part of your heart you try to keep closed, protected.
Doing the right thing for yourself rarely actually feels good. Don’t let that ache in your heart fool you, though. It’s good. It’s right. It’s important.
Recently, I let go of a friend. The friendship became toxic, hurtful, and disappointing. The weight of it kept me stuck in one place, unable to grow. The hurt started to outweigh the joy. Making the decision to let it be was anything but easy. I didn’t instantly feel that I’m Free! feeling, hell no! I felt sad. I felt broken. But despite the sadness, there was and is a peace in my heart. The tiny whisper in my ear telling me I did the right thing. Almost immediately, good things started happening for me. I let go of a weight that was pulling me down.
To experience true joy, you have to eliminate anything toxic. In order to launch yourself into success, you have to free yourself from what’s weighing you down. That doesn’t mean it’s going to feel good, but it does mean it will be right.
A theory I like to apply to anything important is it should feel good. Your family should make you feel good. Your friends should make you feel good. Love, that feels good, too. When those things start to habitually hurt you, they become toxic. Walking away will never be easy.
But you deserve happiness.
You deserve success.
You deserve
to feel good.
So let it go.
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by Joey | Oct 26, 2015 | Throwback
I’ve been feeling boxed in lately. When I graduated college years ago, my education stopped. I didn’t go to grad school. I don’t have any certifications that I have to keep up to date. Our only instructions prior to graduation were to go out and live our lives and practice writing daily. In fact, my writing professor actually encouraged us to get any job over going for our MFA saying that the life experiences were more valuable in our field.
But lately, I’ve been craving knowledge, inspiration, and motivation. I realized it’s up to me to fill my head these days. So I made some changes in the last few months, and you know what, they worked.
How To Find Inspiration and Motivation
What You Listen To:
I’ve mentioned before that I have some time during the first half of my day job where I’m on my own. I have tasks to get done, but I’m not interacting with anyone. I used to listen to fiction audiobooks. But lately, I’ve been devouring episodes of Being Boss. This podcast is full of entrepreneurship ideas for business owners (and hey, you bloggers! You’re business owners too, you know…) and bosses Kathleen and Emily make you feel like you’re hanging out with your besties talking shop.
From them, I’ve also gotten hooked on the Invisible Bosses podcast as well.
What You Read:
The whole podcast thing opened my eyes up to the fact that there’s so much information out there. It got me thinking about what kind of books I was reading. I don’t make much time for reading anymore because it was hard for me to justify (I know…I know…). But I’ve gotten my hands on a few books that are a pleasure to read, but also packed full of information and encouragement. I’m finding that it’s easier for me to make the time to read knowing that I’m actually learning in the process. Some books you must read:
Bird By Bird Anne Lamott
Daring Greatly Brene Brown
Yes, Please Amy Poehler
The Four Agreements Michael Ruiz
What You Invest In:
Staring my business got me thinking about my blog. It’s not exactly cheap to get a business up and running. I had to invest in a domain, website host, different tools, business cards and more. But I’ve never invested in my blog. As many of you know, I’ve been blogging for a long, long time. And this space has grown into more than I ever dreamed it would be. But I never bothered to invest in it because I foolishly thought well I have a degree in writing, what else could I possibly need? But just because I know how to write (thanks Mr. Bathanti), doesn’t mean I know how to grow and run a website. I happened to stumble across Helene’s webinar that I mentioned a few weeks ago–and since then I invested in her blogging course. I was hesitant, but she offers a payment plan (which is so helpful). I’m just now getting into the meat of the course, and while I was skeptical the first few modules, I was won over when she got down into the blogging and money making specifics that other bloggers don’t bother to share. I’m not exactly going to quit my job to blog, but eventually my job will end. Implementing just a few of the tips she’s encouraged has already made a huge difference in my numbers and in my income! If you want to make some money from blogging, you should probably check out her course.
Who You Spend Time With:
We all know those people who are super negative about everything. It’s not just annoying, y’all. It actually affects you. Come back tomorrow for Coffee With Joey where I’ll dive deeper into this topic, but take note of who you’re spending time with. Let me encourage you to make the time for people who inspire you, motivate you, and believe in you. None of us have much time these days (why does being an adult have to suck so much?) so why are you spending what little time you have obliging people who only bring you down?
What You Watch:
I reserve my screen time for true relaxation. I don’t get much of it, but when I do let me tell you I’m definitely soaking in episodes of OTH, Gossip Girl, or some other show that makes me feel better about my life. But you know what? One Tree Hill has always inspired me. There’s something about the writing and character development in that show that’s always encouraged me to reach deep down into my writer’s soul pull out the best I’ve got. Inspiration and encouragement doesn’t have to come from obvious places. Whatever speaks to your soul and forces you to want to do better is all you need.
Keep A Journal With You:
With all of that said, I’m basically constantly having nuggets of informational gold thrown at me. I found that I’d make a mental note to remember something either because it was just an important piece of information or it inspired a blog post, only to forget it completely moments later. I started carrying my journal around with me, jotting down notes here and there, whenever I felt inspired. It’s made all the difference having a space for all my creative thoughts to be collected. Sometimes I’ll write something down with one intention only to find inspiration for something totally different when I revisit it. Find a notebook you love and keep it with you! Make the time to jot down what’s important to you throughout the day.
What are some ways that you find inspiration and motivation? Are you investing in your dreams? What’s next for you?
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by Joey | Oct 23, 2015 | Throwback
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Is it shameful that I’m already planning grab sushi (and mcdonalds fries, don’t judge me) on my way home, immediately change into my pajamas and veg on the couch the rest of the evening? Because holy smokes, it’s been a long week. And trust me, after working my 10 hour day today, I’m probably going to have to throw some wine into that mix. Who’s with me?
Some things from this week:
Christine
removed emails from her phone and it changed her life. I’ve been contemplating this for some time now and think I might give it a try next week!
Carly
answered pretty much every question you could possibly have about Blue Apron while sharing her
very real experience.
Happy Friday!! What do you all have planned for the weekend?
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by Joey | Oct 22, 2015 | Throwback
You’re waiting for something to pan out. You’re waiting for a decision to be made. You don’t know where you’ll be in a year. You’re waiting for a sign. You’re waiting for courage. You’re waiting.
Something you want to do is contingent on all this waiting. You won’t make the decision until the future is clear.
You’re waiting for the divorce to be final. You’re waiting for your parent to get better. You’re waiting for the next pay check. You’re waiting until you’re done with all these weddings. You’re waiting until work dies down.
Guess what? There’s always going to be something. That’s the way life works, friends. The stars don’t align, I’m sorry to say. There is no grand moment when the universe smiles down on you and says
Now, dear. Now.
You have to make your own now. You can’t live your life waiting. If the future messes with the decisions you make today, that’s okay. You’ll figure it out. Or maybe these decisions you make today will help you make those decisions in the future.
Your life is a collection of decisions made in the now. You can’t wait for everything to be perfect or you’ll be waiting forever. And living your life waiting is no way to live, trust me, I know.
I wasted most of my twenties waiting for whatever came next. I didn’t realize that I could control it, like my very own choose your own adventure book. Life is going to throw things at you, and that’s okay, too. You’re strong enough to handle them. And you’re confident enough to make the decisions that need to be made.
So make them.
And stop waiting.
Take control.
You’ve got this, okay?
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by Joey | Oct 21, 2015 | Throwback
When Kristina blogged about this Old Navy dress, I didn’t hesitate. I immediately ordered it. I’ve never done that before–ordered something a blogger suggested. But it seemed so easy! And hey, it was on sale. Win-win.
Okay, story time.
When it arrived, I couldn’t wait to wear it. I had plans to go out to see Who Rescued Who with ATA that night, the perfect opportunity. This little number was going out on the town! Oh, yes!
I slid it over my head, my arms outstretched. And then…it stopped. The rolled up sleeves wouldn’t go over my elbows, and I couldn’t put my arms down. Now, something you might need to now about me is that I’m not necessarily claustrophobic, but if I can’t move my arms or legs, I panic.
I yelled for J. I need your help! I tried to stay calm and trotted out into the hallway, dress half on, underwear exposed, arms halfway up.
He was on the couch, turned around and laughed. You’re ridiculous. He started to get up, but he wasn’t moving fast enough and panic started to settle in.
Get me out! I need to get out! I…I…I…I can’t breathe!! Before I could stop myself, I was in full blown panic attack mode, sobbing and all. Because I was stuck in a dress.
I couldn’t get out of the dress fast enough. Chuckling, he moseyed over to me and pulled the dress up over my head.
See! I yelled. A T-shirt wouldn’t ever trap you!
And that, my friends, is why I’ll never be a fashion blogger.
Because I get stuck in my clothes.
