by Joey | Aug 29, 2019 | Real Life
When I was a kid, every so often my mom would come up the stairs and leave a box of black trash bags outside my door; the subtle indicator that it was time to do a deep clean. I hated the process but always loved the results, so after a few deep breaths, I’d dive in.
Somewhere in the middle, I’d lose stamina and motivation. Inevitably, I’d find myself sitting on my bed in the midst of chaos, my room an actual disaster zone, everything out of place. Mess makes me anxious, so this would always bring on a bit of a panic. I’d regret ever starting. I’d beat myself up for losing steam or not having a better plan of action going in. I would struggle to see how I would ever recover from the destruction. The visions of a clean and clutter-free room were long gone; a pipe dream.
But little by little, the floor would clear. The bags would fill and order would reinstate. Then I’d stand in the doorway admiring my work, breathing a cleansing breath of relief. You did it.
There are seasons of life that look a lot like black trash bag cleaning. And y’all, I’m in it. This year thus far has been a long process of touching everything in my life and making the painful but important decisions about where (and if) they fit. I’ve closed the door on friendships, cutting the ties that tether me to toxic drama and chaos. I’ve let go of things I was white-knuckling without really knowing why I was holding onto them. We drag things around with us from season to season without ever really deciding to. I’ve put my hands on everything, laying it all out in front of me to examine.
And right now, I’m sitting on my bed evaluating the mess in front of me out of motivation and stamina. Everything is out of place. And I don’t know how we’ll recover from the destruction.
The messy middle.
As a person so full of hope it can get obnoxious, I know this season will pass. I am constantly reminded that everything everything, good or bad, is temporary. But that doesn’t make the mess any easier to stomach. The only way through it is through it. But it’s also really easy to forget that everyone goes through it, too. Social media makes us believe that everyone has their ish together. And y’all. It has to stop. You can be a mess and still rock the eff out of your business. You can be dealing with really heartbreaking realities and still experience joy. This is the beautiful dissonance of real life.
The middle is messy but it’s also where the magic happens, or so says Brenè Brown. And I really believe that. The messy middle is not just unavoidable; it’s actually integral to the process of change.
We all work so hard to hide our seasons of messiness. Lives on display, shame creeps in. Comparison tells us we messed up, or worse failed.
Because no one shares the mess. Overnight successes really look like a whole lot of work and heartache behind the scenes. Everyone is quick to share their new homes, baby announcements and business launches. But what about all the struggle behind it all?
Life is hard, y’all. Why do you think my coaching business is booming? Because everyone needs help. You’re not alone in the struggles and neither am I.
And that, my friend, is a beautiful thing.
So I might be staring a mess in the face right now, but I know that little by little, the floor will clear, the bags will fill and order will reinstate.
Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
Hebrews 12:1
by Joey | Aug 27, 2019 | Creative Entrepreneur
A friend messaged me the other day. “I need to pick your brain.” I wasn’t doing anything, so I told them to call.
This friend has an MLM business. And she’s been off social media since February. “I hate it,” she told me. “But I feel like I have to do it.” She wanted my insight into hiring someone to create the content and manage her accounts. The accounts that she hasn’t logged into since February…
I could have easily handed that information over. There are several people in my network who would happily take on that project. And they’d rock it. But instead, I asked her a question.
“Since you’ve been off socials, how is your business doing?”
She went on to tell me that things are going well. Slow and steady but consistent. So I asked her exactly why she felt like she needed to be on socials.
“Because my network is only so big. I need to expand my reach.”
I could hear the disappointment in her voice. She felt such pressure to do something she really, really didn’t want to do.
Here’s the thing. We all do this. With one thing or another, we all force ourselves to do things we don’t want to do because we feel like we have to. Maybe it’s the easiest thing to do. Or the most traditional. Or my favorite: because everyone else is doing it.
You guys, you started your business to design your life. To design your day-to-day. Yes, every business has aspects that no one likes. And the typical advice, in that case, is to simply suffer through it until you can afford to hire it out. But we add things to the miserable “have to” list that don’t actually need to be there because we forget to employ creativity. Somewhere along the way, we stopped giving ourselves permission to think outside the box.
Don’t just accept the misery. Get creative. Think. Explore.
MLMs have been around forever. I remember attending Tupperware parties with my mom and I rubbed Skin So Soft all over in the summers like every other kid of the 90s. Social media is young. A baby! It is not the end all be all of success for a creative business. Can it help? Sure. Can it have a massive impact? Of course. But social media also has the power to consume you. It requires constant attention like a needly little toddler. And if you simply cannot stand it or worse, you see that it’s negatively impacting your well-being, don’t force yourself to do it.
I asked my friend to pretend it’s 2002. Social media doesn’t exist, and you’re determined to grow your business. What do you do? I encouraged her to find an in-person networking group in her area. (I’ve been a member of WIN which is a great one. BNI is also a really powerful group.) I told her to start attending events like Creative Mornings. Make deep and meaningful connections with the people around you in your regular day-to-day life. Find vendor events. Pop up shops. You get the picture.
The thing I love about this friend and how she runs her business is she doesn’t spam people. IRL or online. She understands the power of connecting not selling. When she did post to her socials, she offered true value.
“So take it offline,” I told her.
By the end of the call, she felt energized. A heavy, wet blanket lifted. Her perspective shifted, she was reinvigorated to tackle this next stage of growth.
So I’m going to ask you–what’s weighing you down? Holding you back? Paralyzing you and stunting your growth? What do you feel like you have to do but you’re repulsed to actually do? How can you shift your perspective? Brainstorm some out-of-the-box solutions. Stop reaching for the simplest or easiest and get intentional about designing your life and business to operate in a way that brings you joy.
by Joey | Jul 10, 2019 | Creative Entrepreneur
I get it, a big draw for creative entrepreneurship is that ever elusive freedom everyone is lusting after. I remember being at my day job day dreaming about what my life would look like when I no longer had to adhere to someone else’s schedule. A lot of people envision flitting from coffee shop to coffee shop, meeting interesting people and hammering out the work they love. Some hope their days will be filled with Netflix watching and sun bathing. The latter tend to find their businesses belly up in the first few weeks (probably getting a better tan then they are…), but that’s only because it takes work to build that kind of flexibility into your business. My dream week is a beautiful blend of those two visions. Some days I hustle hard. Other days I don’t want to get out of bed. So, I needed to figure out a way to make that happen. Enter: systems & processes.
SYSTEMS & PROCESSES UNLOCK FREEDOM IN CREATIVE ENTREPRENEURSHIP
Those two words: systems & processes have become such sexy buzz words in the entreprneur community that I’m afraid no one reallys know what they mean. They just know two things: they sound official, and they need them. Before I started my first business, I devoured episodes of the Being Boss podcast. This was back in 2015/16 when they first launched, and I’d listen to Emily and Kathleen chat while I swept someone else’s floor, dreaming about someday. I wanted to be prepared for someday. As prepared as possible. And if I learned anything listening to those bosses, I knew I needed systems & processes. But like…what exactly? I craved specifics. I needed details. Systems where? Processes for what?
SYSTEMS & PROCESSES: WHAT EXACTLY ARE THEY?
Your system keeps things running smoothly, like canned emails that allow for a rapid reply with a few quick edits or project templates in ASANA. Systems are your own personal business hacks. They help you be efficient and consistent. They’re the little automated favors you create for your business that make your life easier. I like to think of my systems as my little robotic assistants. Your process is your method of operation; it’s how you do things. Think of it this way, your process should be documented in a way that should you (likely the sole individual in your business initially) were to fall suddenly ill, your processes would instruct someone with no prior knowledge of your business how to operate it.
WHERE YOU NEED THEM & WHY
In my humble opinion, you need either one or the other or both in pretty much every aspect of your business. But here are a few key places you may need/want systems and processes and why.
Communication. You need both a system and a process in place for your communication: all of it. From inquiries to your final client meeting. Communication, in my experience, is one of the biggest time sucks in business. It’s vital, unavoidable. But if I spent one more day drowning in my inbox, never getting any actual work done, I was going to lose my mind. (Oh wait…I did…)
Packaged offerings//DOING THE WORK. You might be able to create and establish some systems here, like the aforementioned project templates. Maybe you are able to create design templates or a coaching structure map or any kind of thing that might make doing the work a bit easier for yourself. But what you definitely need here is a process. For your own sake and especially for your client’s sake (which really, is for your sake, let’s be honest). Having a process here will change your relationship with your business. And better yet, it’ll change the way your clients view your business. Whether you have one packaged offering or 15, create a process for each one. A process allows you and your client to know what to expect throughout their relationships with your business. It communicates credibility and earns trust. With a process, you’re able to ascertain the life cycle of a client which helps you determine your bandwidth and allows you to plan strategically.
Marketing/Social Media. Systems here are good. Having a some canned, recyclable posts, graphic templates and a general post structure to follow are all helpful. But a process here is vital. Do you follow a posting schedule? (i.e. motivational Monday, tip Tuesday, etc) What is your brand voice? Do you have a certain structure for your posts? An email marketing schedule? Figure out how you do this (or how you want to do this) and create a process around it.
Roles. Okay, so it might just be you in your business right now. But hey! Dream big! Like dressing for the job you want to have, dress your business up as the business you want it to become. Even if it’s just you, establish roles. Sure, you might wear all the hats, but you probably won’t always. Establish a process for the different roles (or departments) in your business. How does the work get done across the board? Further more, a benefit here is, even if you wear all the hats, this helps you establish boundaries within your business. Once you start hiring, it allows your employees and team members to establish boundaries as well. And let me tell you, this is crucial.
Business day. Both systems and processes will play a role in your standard business day. Think through everything you do on a daily basis and see where you can simplify (i.e introduce systems) and document the general operations (i.e. establish your process).
The short answer as to why you need these things is pretty simple: systems save you time and keep things operating efficiently, processes establish and maintain consistency in your business regardless of who is at the helm.
If you’re like, dude…I gotta get some systems and processes into my business stat, I’ve got you covered. I’ve designed this in-depth guide to help you create your own custom systems & processes and implement them into your business. So, what are you waiting for? Grab your free guide! 👇🏻
by Joey | Jul 5, 2019 | Advice, Real Life
Have you ever felt like you just need to be brought back to life? Like, you know the person you once were is in there somewhere, buried beneath it all, but you haven’t seen them in a while? I swear, the older we get the quicker the time passes. And what’s worse is I feel like the volume of things thrown our way doesn’t just increase, those things are major things like new jobs and relocations. Before we know it, we’re merely surviving the days; living reactively instead of proactively.
Y’all. I hate to admit this, but that’s been me for months and months. In fact, it’s been so long, I can hardly remember what it was like to have my life together. Routines and good habits are things of the past, and I keep crawling in bed every night feeling like I just simply ran out of time.
It’s easy to get stuck in that place if I’m honest. Switching gears, pulling yourself from a slump, takes a lot of effort and frankly, I’m already tired. If you’ve been following along on Insta, you know life has been in warp speed lately with change upon change upon change. But the faint whisper of dreams keeps taunting me, and I think it’s about time I do something about it. So I’m doing my best to unjam the gear shift and get this sucker in motion. I know it isn’t going to be pretty, and perfection will be nowhere in sight, but hey…we gotta start somewhere.
ACTION STEP #1: GET A LITTLE DREAMY
Being stuck in such a rut, I decided to do something a little out of character for me: I bought the Cultivate What Matters Powersheets; 6-month edition. Now, the reason I say this is a bit out of character for me is because I’m usually a goal setting ninja. I don’t typically need any help in that department. But with my normal systems drifting so far out of reach, having someone guide me through the process felt like just the ticket for my tired little soul. And it most certainly did the trick.
Lara Casey, the brains behind Cultivate What Matters, encourages you to envision your life when you’re 80. What will matter the most to you then? she asks. It seems so obvious, but it’s not something I really ever considered when it came to goal setting. I’m more of an immediate future type of goal-getter. But this approach helped me depart from my normal to-do list type goals which were usually strictly business or fitness related and instead get a little dreamier about the big picture of my life.
Once I had the areas of my life I wanted to focus on, it was time to move on to the next step.
ACTION STEP #2: GET CLEAR
With the big picture of my life coming into focus, getting clear on the various areas I felt needed the most attention was actually much easier than I anticipated. The Powersheets actually walk you through the process of selecting these things, and some of them were quite surprising to me. Like I said, I’m usually pretty good at goal setting–but it’s rare that I ever think outside the scope of the obvious things like business or health/fitness. Getting a more well-rounded view was eye-opening and refreshing. There is room for 10 big picture goals. I set 8. They are listed in no particular order.
Improve financial health. As a millennial who graduated just as the bottom fell out on the economy, well, you can imagine the state of our finances. It probably doesn’t help that we got married as babies (23) and have moved 7 times in 9 years. (Oh, and we’ve only ever rented. 🤦🏻♀️) Stability isn’t exactly our closest friend. Since our sudden move to the RDU landed us temporarily at my mom’s so we wouldn’t feel rushed in the home search (what a nice change of pace, if I’m honest), we’ve also decided to use this time to aggressively pay off debt. This is a nice goal to have, sure, but it’s uncomfortable and requires vigilance. If I’m being honest, it sounds much more appealing to me to just keep my head in the sand and keep on keepin’ on. But the point here is to cultivate life-altering change. And that requires a little bit of discomfort. So I’m going at it gung ho, even if I don’t love the process.
Mindful health & fitness. I have fallen off my fitness regimen like whoa since moving. I’m no longer close to my gym franchise, and it’s a gazillion degrees outside which doesn’t exactly entice me to go running. But I find I just feel better in general if I’m moving my body. So it’s time to get intentional about it and become a bit more disciplined. As for the health part, well, I always joke that I exercise just so I can eat all the foods. Which, I mean, I do. I’m never going to deny myself a McDonalds quarter pounder meal if that’s what I want. But I rarely want those things, so I let myself indulge. Where I need to improve is to get better about incorporating the right nutrients into the meals I prepare at home on a weekly basis.
Intentional media consumption. My brain constantly feels so full that I struggle to think actual thoughts. And when I try to take a mental inventory, I’m disgusted to find that there’s really nothing of value hanging out up there. It’s half influencer bullshit and half random tidbits of information about people’s lives I hardly care about. (I’m sorry, but it’s true.) On top of that, I haven’t made the time to read like I used to. And I miss it, tremendously. It feels silly to me that I miss something I’m perfectly capable of reintroducing into my life quite easily if I just eliminated the crap. So this goal is all about being a bit more mindful of the crap and making more space for the kind of media I want and mindfully choose to consume.
Intentional leisure & relaxation. Okay, this one might sound strange–but it’s actually a high priority for me the rest of this year. I’ve been living in a reactionary state for months and months. Because of that, I find that I’m procrastinating more than I ever used to and filling valuable time with mindlessness because I feel tired and unfocused all the time. I work well on a carrot-on-a-stick system: meaning, if I know relaxation and/or leisure is in my future, I can focus and go hard. On top of that, by planning and scheduling my intentional relaxation and leisure time, I’m creating the space for me to be productive in. Again, I know this might sound a bit strange to some of you, but I promise it works for me.
Solidify & grow the business. In case you’re new around here, my business is going through a bit of a transition. What I initially launched as a content marketing business is now evolving primarily into a coaching practice & author platform. This transition requires some intense focus, gear-shifting and behind-the-scenes refreshing.
Deepen relationships. I’ve been pretty caught up in myself and my business for the last several years. And through the powersheets process, I discovered that my relationships are possibly the most important feature of my life. With that screaming into focus, I want to take the time to purposefully deepen the existing relationships in my life and cultivate new ones that add to it.
Intentionally chase goals: complete powersheets. A silly goal, but a goal none-the-less. The powersheets were an investment, and I hate wasting a good resource, so this goal stands.
Show myself kindness. This one is quite broad, and it might not make a lot of sense to you, but I know exactly what it means. For me, doing this simply entails listening to myself. I have a strong gut instinct, and I’m pretty good at diagnosing exactly what I need at any given moment. I am also deeply aware of the things that bring and keep joy in my life. These things can vary, but basically, the point here is to get out of the habit of disappointing myself.
ACTION STEP #3: BREAK IT DOWN
Now that I had my 8 big picture goals laid out, the powersheets process graduates you into what they call the monthly tending lists. How this works is, with your big picture goals in mind, you break down various action-steps into monthly, weekly and daily goals. Cultivate What Matters sells a separate goal-setting sticker book that caught my attention (they have these really cute dot stickers that color coordinate with your big-picture goals, I mean c’mon!!! 😍) but since improving our financial health is a big-picture goal, I decided to stick with markers I already have. (See? Progress already. 🙃😂)
JULY MONTHLY GOALS
- Create August tending list
- Compile a list & total of debt
- 30 Days to Boundaries updates
- Create a budget
- Read 4 books
- Boundary boss updates
- Move (my body) 32 miles!
- Create a master B-Day list
- Establish a writing schedule
- Make a cleaning schedule
JULY WEEKLY GOALS:
- 1 social media-free day
- Write 3500 words
- Check bank acct & make adjustments
- Self-care session
- Weekday meals at home
- Read 1 book
- Move (my body) 8 miles!
JULY DAILY GOALS (the powersheets encourage you to use this section as a place to try to introduce new daily habits)
- Meditate 5 minutes
- Read 20 minutes
- Up before 6:30
- Wipe down baths
- Tidy & make the bed
Phew! Okay, so that’s probably a much deeper dive into my personal goals than any of you actually needed, but it’s all about accountability, right? If nothing else, I hope this at least inspired some of you who may be stuck in a rut just like me. If so, comment down below and let me know one of your goals for the month of July! 👇🏻
by Joey | Jul 3, 2019 | Creative Entrepreneur
In June of 2017, I wrote in my journal I feel like we’re on the brink of something–both with [Business name] and Jonathan’s job. The crazy thing is, my intuition was spot on. The bad thing is, I didn’t realize then that we were on the brink of calamity. It was only five months later that I wrote this entry:
November 15, 2017: I feel numb. I finally shut up long enough to listen rather than ask. And I was told to let go. I know leaving [company name] is the right move, but it doesn’t mean this is easy. This has been a doozy of a year, and I am ready for whatever 2018 has in store.
In the months between those two entries, my whole world got flipped upside down. My husband lost his job. My mom, who is my only remaining parent, had major back surgery and I came home to care for her, and my business grew so quickly that I was buried in work. Buried.
I feel like the breakdown came on suddenly, like the flu. One minute I was fine and the next I just wasn’t. But the reality is, the breakdown was a result of all the tiny little things compounding; a game of Tetris I was slowly losing. I was happy doing all the things and being everything to everyone. But somewhere along the way, a turbo switch got flipped and I was powerless to slow things down, much less stop them. Like a tire with a slow leak, eventually, I had nothing left inside. Deflated, exhausted, sick and useless.
I couldn’t breathe. An old GI illness flared. And I constantly felt like my heart was going to blast right out of my chest. Despite feeling the worst I ever felt in my life, I couldn’t slow down. I couldn’t take a sick day or a vacation. I couldn’t find reprieve. And the worst part is: I’d done it all to myself.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
Probably not unlike a lot of you, I started my business to build in the flexibility my life required. Also probably not unlike many of you, when the company first started, I was obsessed with it. I couldn’t work enough. I was never tired. I collected clients like kids of the 90s collected pogs. If someone was willing to pay, I was willing to do the work. I was eager to prove to myself and everyone else that I could, in fact, really do this thing. The problem is, once the thing really took off, I didn’t have anything in place to protect myself. The business didn’t crash and burn. I did.
WORTH ENTANGLEMENT
The first thing worth mentioning, which I believe is at the root of this entire issue, was that I measured my worth by my productivity. This is an easy trap to fall into as an entrepreneur because typically, our dollar bills are literally attached to the amount we accomplish. And I was so desperate to make the thing work that I threw myself into the business 100%. Dedication and discipline are great qualities as an entrepreneur, but you have to draw the line somewhere, and I didn’t. I was my business. My business was me. And that entanglement, my friends, will derail your life. You cannot and should not attach your worth to the success of your business, your productivity, or really anything that can vary day by day. It was this entanglement that fueled everything for me.
FLAWED SYSTEM
As a client-serving business owner, you wear all of the hats. You are the client relationship manager, the admin, the billing specialist, oh…and you have to actually like deliver the work they’ve paid for. A ton of work goes into a client relationship. I thought I did a good job trying to anticipate all the things, but in reality, I’d never actually run a business before. The first year in business was a huge learning curve. Establishing precedent and systems for all the things took up a lot of time. Doing all the work also took up a lot of time. And mind you, these things were getting established on the fly as issues came up.
I was also terribly unaware of bandwidth. Because I’d never done this before, I had no idea what the average lifecycle of a standard client was or what that relationship would actually look like. So while there were systems in place, those systems ultimately didn’t really serve or protect me–just the client.
HALF-BAKED BOUNDARIES
Here’s the thing. The business wasn’t without its structure and boundaries. There were things like client communication guidelines and standard procedures in place, but there was one major critical error: I, personally, didn’t have any boundaries with the business. The structure and procedures that were in place were solely looking out for the client and our standard business operations. I honestly didn’t know enough about running a business to understand that I also needed to set these things up with myself in mind, too. It’s important to note here also that this company launched in the age of hustle glorification. I believed in order to be successful that I had to be slightly miserable. Dreams don’t work unless you do, after all. 🙄 HEAR ME WHEN I SAY THIS, PLEASE:
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HUSTLE FOR YOUR WORTH!
I didn’t know about my go-hard tendencies yet. I wasn’t in-tune with my working preferences or my most productive hours. I didn’t take the time to get to know myself as a business owner and establish a process that allowed for me to best serve my clients and protect the way I preferred to work. I haphazardly threw procedures into place as issues would arise never once considering what those things would mean for me as a business owner.
I introduced zero white space. I was scheduled to the max and completely overloaded. I took on every client that came my way and went above and beyond for each and every one of them. I woke up working. I fell asleep at my desk. I came home after a 20 hour day at the hospital where my mother just had major surgery and hopped in a Zoom call to launch a client’s website. I. Had. Not. A. Single. Personal. Boundary. In. Place.
It’s hard to envision business ownership as anything other than a sprint, especially when you’re first getting started. Establishing effective policies and procedures takes a lot of work and effort and good googly moogly, they aren’t sexy in the least. Taking the time to understand who you are, what you prefer, how you actually want to work and the potential issues that might arise won’t just set your business up for success, it’ll set you up for success in your business.
There are so many things I would have done differently with my first business, but implementing this foundation is at the top of that list. In fact, it was this foundation alone that gave me the courage and confidence to give entrepreneurship another go. After my experience with burnout, I’m sure you can understand my hesitation. But I’m happy to report that 1.5 years in, this foundation is still solidly in place and offers not just me but all of my clients as well the freedom we so desperately crave in our businesses.
