by Joey | Oct 14, 2015 | Throwback
For a while now, I’ve wanted brave tattooed in teeny tiny script on the underside of my wrist. The act itself would take tremendous courage because it would openly go against my upbringing. Never mind the fact that I already have a tattoo. But that’s my little secret, hidden away.
I’ve been consumed with fear lately. Chasing dreams is a synonym for taking risks. Everything feels so fragile, scary. But in true Joey fashion, I analyzed the feeling. I was tired of walking around with this knot in my throat, terrified constantly. And in order to combat it, I needed to find the root.
For weeks I assumed it was the fear of failure. But it wasn’t until I purged every worry, every thought, every dream down on to paper that I realized I had it wrong. I’m not afraid of failing. I’m afraid of the success.
As crazy as that sounds, hear me out. If I fail, what’s the worst case scenario? I keep the life I have now. And while I’m busy chasing dreams, I’m doing okay. I have a great job, a hard working husband, a cozy apartment and wonderful friends. Things are hard, but they are good.
But if I throw myself into all these creative projects floating around in my head, and I find success? Things would change. I’d be the boss. I’d assume a new role of responsibility. I’d once again be redefining myself; my world.
When you’re faced with a risk, people tell you to ask yourself what the worst case scenario is. But what do you do when the worst case scenario is actually the best case?
We get comfortable. Not lazy, necessarily, but we stick with what feels easy. I think back to my first few weeks at Western. When I got my acceptance, I knew without a doubt that I’d transfer to Appalachian after my first year. But that first week, I questioned myself. Well maybe I can just stay here. It would have been okay to stay there. There was nothing wrong with staying there. But it wasn’t what I wanted. But transferring meant I’d have to work my ass off and become vulnerable to another rejection.
It would have been easier to stay.
But for the first time in my life, I was brave. I put myself first, and I worked harder than I ever had before. And when the success came, my life changed. It was terrifying, rewarding, and everything I’d hoped it’d be.
I’m not brave, but I know I can be.
I didn’t think about failing when I started Blush. I didn’t think about failing when I set out to publish the book. I just did it because it was what I wanted. I didn’t let the thoughts in.
Sometimes you have to just ask yourself what you want.
Close your eyes.
Don’t think.
Just jump.
brave.
by Joey | Oct 13, 2015 | Throwback
I don’t read the back of books. I either dive in blind, based on author loyalty, or based on recommendations from friends (blog and IRL). Because of that, I’m not going to summarize these books for you, I’ll simply share my thoughts. I’m not so great at summarizing without giving it all away, anyway. You’re welcome.
Before I Fall Lauren Oliver (audiobook). I’ve been hearing about this book for ages. And the premise of it sounded ultra intriguing. I was absolutely hooked the first several chapters, and then it lost me. The concept is that the main character basically lives her last day before she dies over and over, each time with a differing outcome. A few times probably would have been okay, but midway through I just got bored to tears. Pass.
Confess Colleen Hoover. How she came out with a new book without me realizing it is beyond me. Usually blogland explodes with each release. I’ll admit, ever since Ugly Love, I’ve had a bad taste in my mouth. I loved Colleen Hoover and have been a devout fan up until that point. The subject matter and the way it was approached in that particular book was sincerely upsetting to me. I’m glad I decided to read Confess anyway, giving her another shot. Definitely up to her normal standard. Must read.
Girl Online Zoe Sugg (audiobook). I’m embarrassed to admit that I willingly downloaded this. I’m even more embarrassed to admit that I loved every freaking second of it. Zoella is a popular YouTuber (that might be an understatement), so curiosity got the best of me. There was some drama surrounding the release because she had help from a ghost writer (most “celebrities” do), so I really just wanted to see what the fuss was about. It was adorable and kept me interested the entire time. Read.
That’s honestly all I’ve gotten through lately. I’ve traded my precious audiobook time for podcasts (I’ll share my latest obsession soon)!
There’s a bunch of new faces around here lately (hi!) so I just wanted to take a moment to share that I have a book out! Yeah, Maybe is available on Kindle and Kindle App, and I’d just be tickled pink if you gave it a shot! (PS, if you have Amazon Prime, you can read it for free! Score)!
by Joey | Oct 12, 2015 | Advice
The feeling of overwhelm is in your head.  And it’s telling you that things feel chaotic.  And you guys?  I’ve been knee deep in the overwhelm lately.  I’ve been hitting snooze daily for the first time in my life.  Work feels impossible, and instead of being productive, I’ve been procrastinating.  Avoiding.  I had this general feeling of OMG I’m so busy!  I have so much to do! That word busy was on constant repeat in my head.
And finally, I snapped. Â Everything started to feel so heavy. Â I started to question why I was even bothering. Â I lost sight of why any of it was important. Â And I wanted to quit. Â All of it. Â I couldn’t do it anymore.
I am the queen of routine and structure.  If I set a self inflicted goal, I will achieve it. I don’t like letting myself down.  People do that for me for free.  So when I started to feel out of control, the first things that went out the window were the goals.  I stopped setting them.  I stopped achieving them.  Stuck.  I busied myself wasting time.  I wasn’t being truly productive, which only contributed to that overwhelmed feeling.
I slapped this busy stamp on my life and hid behind it, but without structure the productivity went out the window and the overwhelm settled in.
How to combat the overwhelm
Prioritize.  Go old school.  Grab yourself a pen and a notebook.  Tuck yourself away in a coffee shop with your earbuds in (I recommend the Birdy pandora station) and work your shit out.  Write everything you need to get done down.  And I mean…everything. I even had shower and take the dog out to pee on my list.  Identify your most unproductive time sucks and find a solution for them.  For me, that was showering and getting ready.  I like to watch Netflix on the iPad while I’m getting ready and it could take up to two hours because I dawdled.  My showers got booted to the evenings now.  Once you have everything down, number them in order of priority.
Restructure.  Identify and set your working hours.  Think of it like office hours in college.  How would you feel if you stopped by to see your professor during his office hours for help, and he wasn’t there?  First things first, you have to know when to show up.
Routine. Now, with your priorities in order and your working hours set, schedule it out.  Get a daily calendar if you need to (I use the Emily Ley Simplified Academic Daily) and actually write in what tasks you need to accomplish during certain hour increments.  Literally find a time to do it all.  If it doesn’t fit, reevaluate and find a solution.  That’s when the priorities come in handy.
Reset. You need time to recharge.  You cannot work all of the time.  You will absolutely burn out, trust me.  I was busying myself in the morning hours from 5AM until 11AM, working my day job til 7, sometimes scarfing down dinner maybe, then working again until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.  I wasn’t Joey anymore.  I was constantly tired, overwhelmed, emotional and just no good.  I set no no hours.  Just like I wouldn’t paint my nails* during my working hours, I won’t work during my no no hours.
I made the point over the last week to fix my overwhelm. Â Just being able to visualize my day, identifying my hours of productivity, and knowing when I could relax zapped away the overwhelmed feeling. Â In fact, I feel the exact opposite these days. Â I feel badass and in control, excited to tackle each day.
*this is a tricky one for me since technically painting my nails falls under the work category.  See?  That’s why making a list of priorities is important. 🙂
by Joey | Oct 9, 2015 | Throwback
OPI Lincoln Park After Midnight
It’s been a good week, for the most part. It started out on Monday with a terrible case of food poisoning (ugh) which left me feeling slightly overwhelmed for much of the week. I just hate getting behind. I was laying on the bathroom floor thinking my goodness what a colossal waste of time. But I guess that’s life. A whole lot of One Tree Hill, an old favorite, got watched and that’s about it.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About schedules. Priorities. And how to be productive. I’ve felt a little like a hamster on a wheel the last few months, and I need to find a way to fix that. I’ve relied heavily on my paper journal lately, jotting down ideas, dreaming out loud (so to speak), and generally drafting an ideal day. My hope is that I’ll come up with a perfect recipe for success. Trust me, when I do, you’ll be the first to know.
The hubs and I might attend the Nascar race tomorrow. I’m fuzzy on the details (that happens when you only share minutes of conscious time together each day…), but I’m pretty sure there’s a suite involved. I’m not much for watching cars make a bunch of left turns, but I am down for anything that involves food and booze.
I hope you all have a great weekend. Thanks for hanging out this week! I was particularly proud of some of my content this week. If you haven’t had a chance to catch up and want the goods, be sure these out!
A few of my favorite posts from bloggers this week are:
Happy Friday!
by Joey | Oct 8, 2015 | Throwback
I’ve spent some time lately thinking over the last decade. I’m in my last year of my twenties, and oddly, I’m not totally freaked about turning thirty. To be honest, I feel like thirty is a badge of honor we earn simply for surviving our twenties. I’m hoping there’s a water table and a power snack available when we cross the threshold, marathon style. Because let me tell you, your twenties aren’t all rainbows and butterflies. In fact, things
have to get easier than this, right?
So here we go. A few things I’ve learned over the last ten years.
You actually need a plan after college. Graduating with a degree isn’t enough. Take some time before you graduate and secure a paid internship or a good entry level position. Don’t waste your time jumping from job to job. Trust me.
There’s nothing wrong with moving home after college. It’s probably the last time you’ll ever get that time with your parents. And it’s the last taste of your childhood you’ll get. Don’t stay there forever, but if it’s possible and won’t make you want to fling yourself off a roof, do it. And save some cash while you’re at it.
Your wedding is just one day. And honestly? It’s not that important. Don’t let it consume your life. And don’t spend all your money on it. Invest in your relationship, not a single day.
You should be saving money. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but you should be putting a little from every pay check in savings. Life happens on a dime. Be prepared.
The people who were your best friends in HS probably won’t always be there. You change. They change. Life takes you in a million different directions. It’s okay to let them go.
You need to ask yourself what you want. And make sure you do something every day to make that happen. You can waste a lot of time stuck in the grind.
You should take all the vacations. Depending on what your plan for the future looks like, your twenties are for being selfish. You probably don’t have kids yet. Pick a place and go.
You need a hobby. There’s no way we were put on this earth to pay bills and die.
Everyone has a drinking grace. Find yours and stick to it. Me? It’s two drinks. Two glasses of wine. Two craft beers. I can do 3 domestics. Anything more and I’m sloppy drunk. It’s not cute to be sloppy drunk.
Invest in good clothes. The target tees are tempting, trust me, I know (and have a closet full of them). But you need real clothes. Real, adult clothes.
Learning to say no is important. You’ll easily find yourself over-scheduled or spending your time doing a lot of things you don’t want to. You’re allowed to say no.
The gym isn’t optional. Working out isn’t about looking good in a bikini. It’s about taking care of yourself. Oh, and probably relieving some stress. Your twenties are stressful.
Marry your best friend. Guys will come into your life, promising you the world. They want to get into your pants. That’s it. Marry the guy who makes you feel like life is easy and who can make you laugh. Trust me, laughing is important.
You need a support group. There are going to be hard days. Really hard days. You need people in your corner.
Accept the help that is offered. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Don’t be too proud to accept the help that is offered.
On Thursdays, Kristin and I host this link up. It’s a 100% rule-free link up, just a space to link up any post you’d like. I’d like to encourage you to visit at least one new blog, reach out and make a new friend. Tell your friends. Let’s see if we can create a really fun, supportive community!
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