I’ve spent some time lately thinking over the last decade. I’m in my last year of my twenties, and oddly, I’m not totally freaked about turning thirty. To be honest, I feel like thirty is a badge of honor we earn simply for surviving our twenties. I’m hoping there’s a water table and a power snack available when we cross the threshold, marathon style. Because let me tell you, your twenties aren’t all rainbows and butterflies. In fact, things have to get easier than this, right?
So here we go. A few things I’ve learned over the last ten years.
You actually need a plan after college. Graduating with a degree isn’t enough. Take some time before you graduate and secure a paid internship or a good entry level position. Don’t waste your time jumping from job to job. Trust me.
There’s nothing wrong with moving home after college. It’s probably the last time you’ll ever get that time with your parents. And it’s the last taste of your childhood you’ll get. Don’t stay there forever, but if it’s possible and won’t make you want to fling yourself off a roof, do it. And save some cash while you’re at it.
Your wedding is just one day. And honestly? It’s not that important. Don’t let it consume your life. And don’t spend all your money on it. Invest in your relationship, not a single day.
You should be saving money. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but you should be putting a little from every pay check in savings. Life happens on a dime. Be prepared.
The people who were your best friends in HS probably won’t always be there. You change. They change. Life takes you in a million different directions. It’s okay to let them go.
You need to ask yourself what you want. And make sure you do something every day to make that happen. You can waste a lot of time stuck in the grind.
You should take all the vacations. Depending on what your plan for the future looks like, your twenties are for being selfish. You probably don’t have kids yet. Pick a place and go.
You need a hobby. There’s no way we were put on this earth to pay bills and die.
Everyone has a drinking grace. Find yours and stick to it. Me? It’s two drinks. Two glasses of wine. Two craft beers. I can do 3 domestics. Anything more and I’m sloppy drunk. It’s not cute to be sloppy drunk.
Invest in good clothes. The target tees are tempting, trust me, I know (and have a closet full of them). But you need real clothes. Real, adult clothes.
Learning to say no is important. You’ll easily find yourself over-scheduled or spending your time doing a lot of things you don’t want to. You’re allowed to say no.
The gym isn’t optional. Working out isn’t about looking good in a bikini. It’s about taking care of yourself. Oh, and probably relieving some stress. Your twenties are stressful.
Marry your best friend. Guys will come into your life, promising you the world. They want to get into your pants. That’s it. Marry the guy who makes you feel like life is easy and who can make you laugh. Trust me, laughing is important.
You need a support group. There are going to be hard days. Really hard days. You need people in your corner.
Accept the help that is offered. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Don’t be too proud to accept the help that is offered.
On Thursdays, Kristin and I host this link up. It’s a 100% rule-free link up, just a space to link up any post you’d like. I’d like to encourage you to visit at least one new blog, reach out and make a new friend. Tell your friends. Let’s see if we can create a really fun, supportive community!
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Amen to all of these things!! Especially marrying your best friend and having a support group. I think those two things are SO important in life. Good people make rough times easier!
Great post lady! I turn 35 (eekkkss!!) next week and all of the things that you mentioned are so true.I also always roll my eyes when people dread turning 30.. It's not that bad people!! Life seriously gets better. Mostly because you just get wiser lol. I'm totally with you on the drinking thing too. Thanks for sharing lady and I hope that you have a great day today!! 🙂
Great tips! I'm still in my early twenties but the first couple ring so true to me. I've graduated with no real plans and I'm living back at home. Being back at home is tolerable and enjoy the time with my parents (most of the time), but I wish I could start myself on a proper career path and be totally independent.
Hollie 🙂 hollieshighlights.blogspot.co.uk
This is such a great piece of advice. Thanks for hosting this link-up.
I'm following you on Social media now. I hope you'll check me out and follow me too 🙂
YES. TO. ALL. I'm halfway through my 30th year of life and your list is spot on. I didn't wallow in turning the big 3-0, in fact, it's become my favorite year yet. Life doesn't end at 30 – it begins!
This was such a wondeful list. I need to remember these things as I head into my last couple years as a twenty-something. I need to be better at all of them.
I feel like my twenties were a long, long time ago. So much I agree with you on here. The wedding thing, yes. Ugh I cannot stand people who get so wrapped up in a wedding. There are so many other things you will do that are much more awesome (with your spouse and life). Drinking grace – AMEN. I'm a four drinks. Accepting help – yes! Too many people are trying to prove something (I was one) that can backfire. XO girl – Amanda
I'm smack dab in the middle of my twenties, and most of these are true for me! I loved moving back with my parents after college, and I'd recommend it to anyone who has a great relationship with their parents — I loved feeling like a kid again for that short period of time! 🙂
xoxo
Kat
Yes! Completely agree with all of these! Though I wasn't happy about moving back in with my mom after college, I missed it a little when I did get out on my own a year later. I so wished I had saved more and had a plan after college! The drinking grace is an important one too, getting sloppy cute isn't cute, especially after a certain age! I would add learning to let go of things that don't bring joy- whether it be people/relationships, things, or goals that no longer suit you and your life.
Yes yes yes to everything!! I can't even pick my favorites because they're all so perfect. Such a great list.
Can I just say how much I love your thoughts on a wedding!! We didn't have a big wedding and I am so glad (I was married before and had a huge wedding, big mistake). It should be about the relationship not what colors you choose or kind of cake.
I have that conversation all the time with my brides … its just one day. Its not EVERYTHING. The money some people spend on that day just boggles my mind sometimes.
gahhh so many of these are so true. especially the wedding, the good clothes (i love target tees as much as the next girl but they are not proper clothes lol) and the gym. except, i tend to forget the gym one all too often. help me.
Definitely agree! That's why we chose a courthouse wedding, no need to waste a ton of money for something that's just a day. I love the fact that Kyle and I spent $25 for a license, that's it for the wedding. that's not even cents a day, since we've been married for almost a year and a half.
liz @ sundays with sophie
liz @ sundays with sophie
Yes to all of these things!!!! I am working on the good quality clothing staples, and saving money thing still….but everything else I think I have figured out! I wish I would have traveled more. I would tell so many people to save to travel!
This list is so great! Makes me want to go ahead and schedule a similar post for my 30th.
Lots of wisdom here! Totally agree with all of them, except the high school friends one – I still have a couple knocking around, and they're still some of my dearest. On the other hand, I've realised the necessity of gradually letting some other high school friendships fade out, with no hard feelings on either side. People change, we're all busy, etc. So I'd say I agree about 50% with that one!
I'll be 30 in just over 6 months, so I'm doing similar reflections on age, life, and all that. I'm still at the terrified/daunted stage so this helped me feel a bit more positive about the whole thing! Totally going to wear that badge of honour proudly 🙂
THIS IS SO GOOD. Yes to all of these!
Amen to all of these! I'm still working on avoiding Target clothes and investing in more quality pieces though. :-p
Yes!!! I so need a support group…so do. Plus, the drinking grace thing?! People should know this…but most don't. Not in their 20s, 30s, and heck even 40s or later on. I know people in their 50s and they still don't know how much they can or should drink. 🙁
Great post, friend! I have never heard of "drinking grace" but I kinda love it! Saving money, deciding what you want to do {and then doing it} and taking vacations are my 3 faves on your list. I FREAKED OUT about turning 30 last year and I still don't love it {yet}. I'm learning to love it though. Heck, I better since I turn 31 next month. Ha!
Love this so so much. Investing in your marriage and not your wedding day is SO IMPORTANT. What's a perfect fairytale wedding day if you're unhappy and divorced a year later? Also, take vacations. My husband and I have a motto: we'd rather spend our money making memories than on tangible things. Fill the house with picture perfect decorations or go to Antigua for a week? I'll take the latter 😉
"Invest in your relationship, not a single day." I love this. I want our wedding to be nice, but, I'm also not going into debt because of it. That's no way to start a marriage – not a way I would WANT to start a marriage anyway.
Yes! I agree with all of those. I definitely traveled a lot in my 20's and I'm so glad that I did! It just doesn't happen as easily now. And most definitely save money! Doing both of those is tricky but it can be done 🙂
My 20s were such a crazy fun time. Most of it spent in school. By the time law school was over, I woke up one day 30. Haha
I learned SO much more in my 30s.
Oh yeah and our wedding was small because I didn't care about a big fuss. Never did. No way would I ask my parents to spend that kind of money after putting me through my phd.
This post is fantastic. I wish I had been more in tune with some of these things a lot sooner than now, like the saving of money. I mean, I knew I should, I just didn't do a very good job of it. At all.
And the gym not being optional. I hate that. I really do. I want to go back to the days when I could sit on the couch all day and night, eating all of the junk food, drinking all of the Pepsi, and not gaining a single ounce. #thegooddays
This post is fantastic. I wish I had been more in tune with some of these things a lot sooner than now, like the saving of money. I mean, I knew I should, I just didn't do a very good job of it. At all.
And the gym not being optional. I hate that. I really do. I want to go back to the days when I could sit on the couch all day and night, eating all of the junk food, drinking all of the Pepsi, and not gaining a single ounce. #thegooddays
All of these are so incredibly true, and what stinks most, is that I'm pretty sure our parents and everyone else probably told us all of it. Fuck us for "learning things on our own terms." Young people, I swear!!!
Something really important that I've learned, from blogging, the gym, and self reflection is that taking care of yourself really isn't optional and you're so right about the bikini. It's really about the whole picture. I am so much happier as a person, and as a wife now. I trust my husband and our relationship, because I am confident in myself. Health and happiness go hand in hand, looking good in a bikini is just an added bonus 😉 Don't skip the workouts people!!!