by Joey | Oct 12, 2015 | Advice
The feeling of overwhelm is in your head. And it’s telling you that things feel chaotic. And you guys? I’ve been knee deep in the overwhelm lately. I’ve been hitting snooze daily for the first time in my life. Work feels impossible, and instead of being productive, I’ve been procrastinating. Avoiding. I had this general feeling of OMG I’m so busy! I have so much to do! That word busy was on constant repeat in my head.
And finally, I snapped. Everything started to feel so heavy. I started to question why I was even bothering. I lost sight of why any of it was important. And I wanted to quit. All of it. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I am the queen of routine and structure. If I set a self inflicted goal, I will achieve it. I don’t like letting myself down. People do that for me for free. So when I started to feel out of control, the first things that went out the window were the goals. I stopped setting them. I stopped achieving them. Stuck. I busied myself wasting time. I wasn’t being truly productive, which only contributed to that overwhelmed feeling.
I slapped this busy stamp on my life and hid behind it, but without structure the productivity went out the window and the overwhelm settled in.
How to combat the overwhelm
Prioritize. Go old school. Grab yourself a pen and a notebook. Tuck yourself away in a coffee shop with your earbuds in (I recommend the Birdy pandora station) and work your shit out. Write everything you need to get done down. And I mean…everything. I even had shower and take the dog out to pee on my list. Identify your most unproductive time sucks and find a solution for them. For me, that was showering and getting ready. I like to watch Netflix on the iPad while I’m getting ready and it could take up to two hours because I dawdled. My showers got booted to the evenings now. Once you have everything down, number them in order of priority.
Restructure. Identify and set your working hours. Think of it like office hours in college. How would you feel if you stopped by to see your professor during his office hours for help, and he wasn’t there? First things first, you have to know when to show up.
Routine. Now, with your priorities in order and your working hours set, schedule it out. Get a daily calendar if you need to (I use the Emily Ley Simplified Academic Daily) and actually write in what tasks you need to accomplish during certain hour increments. Literally find a time to do it all. If it doesn’t fit, reevaluate and find a solution. That’s when the priorities come in handy.
Reset. You need time to recharge. You cannot work all of the time. You will absolutely burn out, trust me. I was busying myself in the morning hours from 5AM until 11AM, working my day job til 7, sometimes scarfing down dinner maybe, then working again until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I wasn’t Joey anymore. I was constantly tired, overwhelmed, emotional and just no good. I set no no hours. Just like I wouldn’t paint my nails* during my working hours, I won’t work during my no no hours.
I made the point over the last week to fix my overwhelm. Just being able to visualize my day, identifying my hours of productivity, and knowing when I could relax zapped away the overwhelmed feeling. In fact, I feel the exact opposite these days. I feel badass and in control, excited to tackle each day.
*this is a tricky one for me since technically painting my nails falls under the work category. See? That’s why making a list of priorities is important. 🙂
by Joey | Oct 9, 2015 | Throwback
OPI Lincoln Park After Midnight
It’s been a good week, for the most part. It started out on Monday with a terrible case of food poisoning (ugh) which left me feeling slightly overwhelmed for much of the week. I just hate getting behind. I was laying on the bathroom floor thinking my goodness what a colossal waste of time. But I guess that’s life. A whole lot of One Tree Hill, an old favorite, got watched and that’s about it.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About schedules. Priorities. And how to be productive. I’ve felt a little like a hamster on a wheel the last few months, and I need to find a way to fix that. I’ve relied heavily on my paper journal lately, jotting down ideas, dreaming out loud (so to speak), and generally drafting an ideal day. My hope is that I’ll come up with a perfect recipe for success. Trust me, when I do, you’ll be the first to know.
The hubs and I might attend the Nascar race tomorrow. I’m fuzzy on the details (that happens when you only share minutes of conscious time together each day…), but I’m pretty sure there’s a suite involved. I’m not much for watching cars make a bunch of left turns, but I am down for anything that involves food and booze.
I hope you all have a great weekend. Thanks for hanging out this week! I was particularly proud of some of my content this week. If you haven’t had a chance to catch up and want the goods, be sure these out!
A few of my favorite posts from bloggers this week are:
Happy Friday!
by Joey | Oct 8, 2015 | Throwback
I’ve spent some time lately thinking over the last decade. I’m in my last year of my twenties, and oddly, I’m not totally freaked about turning thirty. To be honest, I feel like thirty is a badge of honor we earn simply for surviving our twenties. I’m hoping there’s a water table and a power snack available when we cross the threshold, marathon style. Because let me tell you, your twenties aren’t all rainbows and butterflies. In fact, things
have to get easier than this, right?
So here we go. A few things I’ve learned over the last ten years.
You actually need a plan after college. Graduating with a degree isn’t enough. Take some time before you graduate and secure a paid internship or a good entry level position. Don’t waste your time jumping from job to job. Trust me.
There’s nothing wrong with moving home after college. It’s probably the last time you’ll ever get that time with your parents. And it’s the last taste of your childhood you’ll get. Don’t stay there forever, but if it’s possible and won’t make you want to fling yourself off a roof, do it. And save some cash while you’re at it.
Your wedding is just one day. And honestly? It’s not that important. Don’t let it consume your life. And don’t spend all your money on it. Invest in your relationship, not a single day.
You should be saving money. It doesn’t have to be a lot, but you should be putting a little from every pay check in savings. Life happens on a dime. Be prepared.
The people who were your best friends in HS probably won’t always be there. You change. They change. Life takes you in a million different directions. It’s okay to let them go.
You need to ask yourself what you want. And make sure you do something every day to make that happen. You can waste a lot of time stuck in the grind.
You should take all the vacations. Depending on what your plan for the future looks like, your twenties are for being selfish. You probably don’t have kids yet. Pick a place and go.
You need a hobby. There’s no way we were put on this earth to pay bills and die.
Everyone has a drinking grace. Find yours and stick to it. Me? It’s two drinks. Two glasses of wine. Two craft beers. I can do 3 domestics. Anything more and I’m sloppy drunk. It’s not cute to be sloppy drunk.
Invest in good clothes. The target tees are tempting, trust me, I know (and have a closet full of them). But you need real clothes. Real, adult clothes.
Learning to say no is important. You’ll easily find yourself over-scheduled or spending your time doing a lot of things you don’t want to. You’re allowed to say no.
The gym isn’t optional. Working out isn’t about looking good in a bikini. It’s about taking care of yourself. Oh, and probably relieving some stress. Your twenties are stressful.
Marry your best friend. Guys will come into your life, promising you the world. They want to get into your pants. That’s it. Marry the guy who makes you feel like life is easy and who can make you laugh. Trust me, laughing is important.
You need a support group. There are going to be hard days. Really hard days. You need people in your corner.
Accept the help that is offered. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Don’t be too proud to accept the help that is offered.
On Thursdays, Kristin and I host this link up. It’s a 100% rule-free link up, just a space to link up any post you’d like. I’d like to encourage you to visit at least one new blog, reach out and make a new friend. Tell your friends. Let’s see if we can create a really fun, supportive community!
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by Joey | Oct 7, 2015 | Throwback
I just got off the phone with my best friend, our second chat of the day, a rarity. I’ve come to expect her call mid-morning as she’s walking with her daughter. It’s usually what marks my transition from writer to nanny. But tonight, our unexpected conversation was all about what happens when things don’t turn out like we planned.
We’re a lot alike, she and I. We’re dedicated, loyal, and most of all chronically optimistic. So when we’re faced with a fork in the road, the ending of one chapter for another, we typically take a deep breath, pull up our big girl panties, and deal.
We’ve dealt with a lot of life in the nine years we’ve been friends. I guess that’s how your twenties are supposed to go. Everything happens so fast in an attempt to set you up the rest of your life. But a decade doesn’t seem like fair enough a time for that sort of thing. You transition from kid to functioning adult, and suddenly you’re just supposed to know how to do everything. Every choice, every decision suddenly carries so much weight.
But what if we make a mistake?
Our conversation was pretty serious tonight, the end of something big. When you’re a kid and someone doesn’t keep their promise, your feelings get hurt. When you’re an adult and someone doesn’t keep their promise, lives get ripped to shreds.
So when something ends; when something you were counting on doesn’t work out. When your life doesn’t go as planned, you have two choices. You can curl into yourself, dwelling on it, constantly feeling the loss. Or you can take a step back, evaluate, see where things might have gone wrong, and adjust your sails.
Easier said than done, my friends. I know this. But I guess that’s all part of being an adult, too. When we fall and scrape our knees, there’s no one waiting with a bandaid and a shoulder to cry on. You have to pick yourself up and tell yourself you’ll be fine.
The fact is, sometimes the only way to learn a lesson is to learn it the hard way. To let the hurt in. It’s just a normal day. A regular Tuesday. We all go about our lives, week by week. But you never know when something will end. It comes at you out of the blue. Life was normal, and within one split second, one decision changes everything as you know it.
That’s the hardest part about being an adult for me, I think. Is knowing everything we do is collected into a series of choices that pave out our lives.
But what if we make a mistake?
The thing is, friends, sometimes things don’t go as planned. People don’t keep their promises. What you thought you wanted isn’t all it was cracked up to be. You change. The people around you change. And that’s okay. Sometimes the best things come out of you not getting what you thought you wanted.
Actually, that’s how she and I are friends in the first place. My plans didn’t work out. And I got a best friend out of it.
Life.
All I can tell you is to buckle up.
And wear a helmet if possible.
Cause this shit gets crazy.
by Joey | Oct 6, 2015 | Throwback
I was ten years old, waiting impatiently in the living room for my turn at the TV. My dad was glued to the screen, awaiting the verdict in a trial he was so sure about. It’s almost over he told me, practically giddy to see a guilty man convicted.
That’s when a man came on the screen and announced that O.J. Simpson was found not guilty.
Last December, along with the rest of the world, I was completely wrapped up in Serial. I clung to every word, cursing when the episode would end with yet another question left to answer. I talked about it any chance I got, telling everyone I knew that they had to listen to it. Yeah, I was obsessed.
At first it was just an interesting story, something to distract me from the fact that my own life was totally unraveling. And though it might be shameful to admit, it gave me comfort that things could always be worse.
Like the rest of the world, I was left wanting more at the end. Sure, Adnan was charming and Koenig delivered an intoxicating narrative, but the big picture came screaming into focus. This was a kid sentenced to life in prison (plus 30 years) for a crime he still claims to this day, 15 years later, that he didn’t commit.
In recent months, I’ve been listening to Undisclosed. Remember Rabia Chaudry? She initially introduced Sarah Koenig to the Adnan’s case. Well, she and a few of her lawyer buddies produce this podcast, releasing new episodes every Monday, digging deeper into the case, tossing out theories and at times totally shattering the state’s case.
At the end of Serial, all we knew was that there was very little (if any) evidence linking Adnan Syed to Hae Min Lee’s murder. In fact, there was no physical evidence linking him to the crime, and yet he was sentenced.
I’m not a lawyer. The extent of my lawyering experience comes from watching episodes of The Good Wife and Drop Dead Diva (judge away). So what would that be called? An arm chair lawyer? Sure. But I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that with no physical evidence, Adnan was found guilty.
Let me refresh your memory here for a second. O.J. Simposon went on trial in 1995 for the murders of his wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and Ron Goldman. Physical evidence was stacked against him, placing him at the scene of the crime, leaving him literally red handed. His blood and DNA were all over the crime scene. The victims’ blood was found inside his now ever famous white Bronco. His motive was clear. But when it came time to deliberate, the jury found him not guilty, releasing a murderer out onto the streets.
Two wildly publicized murder trials with two very different verdicts. A possibly innocent man imprisoned for life vs. a murderer left roaming the streets (well, not for good. Simpson did eventually land himself a hefty prison sentence for robbery).
Do I think Adnan did it? Like I said before, I’m not a lawyer. But listen to Undisclosed. I think then you’ll understand why I believe that he actually might be innocent.
I’m sure you all have some opinions, and I’d really like to hear them. Share below, do you think Adnan is guilty? Have you listened to Undisclosed? If so, what you think about the shocking cell tower information and do you think it totally discredits the state’s case? And just for fun, tell me how old you were during the Simpson trial and if you remember any of it.
