by Joey | Feb 23, 2015 | Throwback
When I graduated college, I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do. All I knew was that I wanted to write books. Unfortunately, there aren’t job listings on Craigslist or Career Builder for “author.” As I’ve shared before, I was sorely disappointed when I found myself spending my days doing things I wasn’t good at and didn’t want to do.
I shared
here a more in depth story of how I came to the breaking point. But basically, after several attempts at jobs I was just
not cut out for, I made the decision that I needed to be writing. I was too afraid to apply for any kind of writing job (go figure, but I was perfectly comfortable applying for and getting jobs I was in no way qualified for. Don’t try to understand my logic. I can’t, either).
Looking at the big picture: write a book, it seemed impossible. I had no idea where to start. I could write, but I wasn’t sure I could come up with characters, storylines, a town, any of it. I spent a few weeks thinking I just wouldn’t ever be able to do it.
But I couldn’t get it off of my mind. So one afternoon, I sat down and broke that Big Picture down into baby steps. Create a cast. Create and name the town (I was still on Facebook at this point, and I hosted a poll for the town name). Map out the town. Attach roles to the cast. And finally…create a schedule.
Since I didn’t really know where the story would take me or what was going to happen, I took a general approach to the schedule. I was working full-time and planning a wedding, so I told myself I had to write a chapter a week. I sent the schedule to my accountability partner, and then I sat down to write.
I know it probably sounds strange that I didn’t really have a plan. Every writer is different. But I just sat down, put the characters in a setting, and watched to see what would happen.
When I was done (I started in November and wrote the last word in March), I really didn’t know what to do next. I told myself the point of it was to prove to myself that I could do it. And I left it at that. I went on to get married a few months later, we moved to Georgia, and the book found itself on the floor in my husband’s closet.
And that’s where it lived until we moved to Charlotte, where it got moved into a drawer in my desk.
And then we moved to Buies Creek. And still it sat, unopened.
Almost four years to the day from the time I wrote the last word, I decided it was time I found the courage to face it. I tried to identify the parts I liked. I got frustrated with the parts I didn’t like. I dissected some storylines and added depth. Others were ripped out completely. Characters changed, matured. And the more I rewrote, the more it turned into a real, live book before my eyes.
I was lucky enough to have talented editors as friends and family. The first time I sent the rewritten manuscript to the editor (the first time I shared it with anyone), I cried for almost two hours.
I was scared to death.
But I’d put in too much to turn back. I had to see it through. After several rounds of edits, many cups of coffee, too many tears, early mornings and painfully late nights…the book was ready.
On July 23, 2014, I hit “publish” on
Amazon.com. July 23 is a sad day in my family. It’s the day we lost our beloved friend (too small a word for what he was, really). That man had such a hand in turning me into the woman I am now. And he’s much of the reason I felt that nagging “you can do this” feeling as I embarked on the scariest journey I’ve been on to date. It was no accident I picked that day. I owe much of who I am to him, and I wanted my greatest accomplishment to honor him.
It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t convenient. It wasn’t always fun. There were days I felt like a zombie. There were days when I was absolutely certain it was all one big mistake. I had to reach deep inside myself to find a level of commitment, determination, and courage that I wasn’t quite sure I had.
It was completely worth it.
If there’s something that’s nagging you, but you aren’t sure where to start…pay it the attention it needs. Because I promise you, you can do it. And you’ll learn so much about yourself along the way.
I share this story with you today because
THIS WEEK my book,
Yeah, maybe is on sale for $1.99! It would mean the world to me if you gave it a chance. You might love it. You might hate it. And maybe you’ll feel something in between. But ultimately, I just want you to give it a chance. Share it with your friends, discuss your opinions. Rate it on Amazon and Goodreads. Tell me what you liked, what you didn’t. I want to grow, and the only way to do that is to face my fears. And in order to do that, I need your help.
**It is also a part of the Kindle Lending Library, so feel free to share it with your friends!**
If you feel so inclined, share this image on your social media outlets.
It would make my life, really.
Thank you for being on this journey with me, friends.
by Joey | Feb 20, 2015 | beauty, Loves
Salon Perfect: Plumeria
Yesterday was the kind of day that I just had to walk over to the Starbucks, work my butt off and drink a mocha chai latte. And I might have cried a little in my little corner “office.” I’m hoping it wasn’t the first time that Starbucks saw some tears, but whatever. Sometimes being an adult is really hard, y’all.
In happier news, I get to hug the sweet Ryan on Wednesday!! We’ve been internet friends for nearly 4 years! We’ve been through a lot together, and I seriously CAN NOT WAIT for what she called Joey and Ryan’s DAY OF FUN! (Friends reference, anyone? Please tell me this reminded you of a certain scene with Janice…)
I finally bit the bullet and became a Julep Maven! Y’all have been trying to convince me for years. YEARS! Well, I have also been offered to partner with the company (I mean, it’s like they think I write about nail polish a lot or something…). So if you’ve also been tempted, here you go. An offer just from me. Well, me and Julep.
Click the image (or
HERE) to receive the Winter Escape Welcome Box for FREE when you sign up to be a Maven!
++Mavens receive free shipping. You can choose what you love from new collections. And you have the option to send your box to someone else (as a gift) OR you can choose to skip months. I’m really glad Julep reinstated that feature. For a while they had it where you had to earn your skips, which is what turned me off to it. Now you can skip any month you need to. All you have to do is sign in by a certain date, choose what you want (or choose to skip)!
*I am a julep affiliate, but I also really dig their products. I receive a commission on any sales.
by Joey | Feb 19, 2015 | Throwback
++ I spent the afternoon yesterday browsing through Kristin’s recipe index. I’ve been in such a rut lately, and I trust her taste. I’m particularly excited to try the beer bread, creamy chicken casserole, stovetop mac & cheese, her take on chicken enchiladas (sound way better than the boring way I make them), and the lazy lasagna.
++ I started listening to an audio book while I was doing little things around the house: cleaning/cooking/walking the dog, whatever. I started with A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, but it was excruciating and I gave up. Hoping for something a little more interesting, I opted for Diane Chamberlain’s The Good Father, and I’m really enjoying it so far!
++ As you probably already know if you have the internet or logged on to twitter for half a second this week– NC got some snow/ice. I don’t mind this kind of weather as long as we don’t lose power. I went to sleep on Monday night really anxious that I’d wake up to a cold house and blinking clocks, but luckily our power stayed on!
++ J got me into a game called 4 pictures 1 word. I swear, that game makes you want to blow your brains out. There have been times where we’ve each gotten stuck on a word, spent days trying to figure it out, and every single time it’s something that makes us hate ourselves for not knowing it.
++ I think we’re in the February slump. Life just isn’t all that exciting right now. Now that we’ve gotten our snow/ice in, I could be convinced to hope for spring to roll around. I haven’t gone for a run in a week and that’s just no good for anyone. ha. Even Bailey is bored out of her skin. I’m not one to usually wish time away, but I’d be okay with February getting a move on!
Okay friends! Your turn!
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by Joey | Feb 18, 2015 | Throwback
Sally Hansen Miracle Gel: Greyfitti
Share what you love
instead of what you hate.
It’s instinct for most of us to focus on the things that bother us or that we don’t like. My challenge to you today is to catch yourself. We do it so easily that we probably don’t even realize we’re doing it. When you catch yourself doing it, share something you love instead.
I like chai tea lattes and brownies. I love that throat lozenges actually numb your sore throat at least for a little while. I like snow and ice as long as we don’t lose power. I love walking vs. driving whenever possible. And I like you.
by Joey | Feb 16, 2015 | Throwback
This is hard for me to admit. But for the sake of keeping things extra real around here, I think it’s probably important to share.
I keep a paper journal; I always have. And no, that’s not what I hesitated to share. But sometimes, when things get extra rough, it’s nice to have documentation. It’s comforting to look back at other experiences knowing somehow, we made it through.
So the other night, I was digging through my past. And I found this…
I always thought
my opinions, desires, thoughts, etc
didn’t matter
because I was just me.
Seeing that, reading those words, knowing that I lived my life that way for a long, long time makes my stomach hurt. When you’re shut down enough times, you stop bothering. You start to question if anything, anything, you say, think, want, even matters. To live your life feeling like less of a person than anyone else around you is not okay. And don’t even get me started on the whole “just” thing. You aren’t just anything. Do you hear me?
I have my theories, but it’s hard for me to pin down exactly why I lived a good chunk of my life feeling that way. That I didn’t matter. That I wasn’t enough because I was just me. And as I grew up, I watched my friends blossom in to these confident, competent people, and I just felt lost. Because who was I to get any of the things I wanted?
I felt like I wasn’t enough.
It’s hard, isn’t it? To look at yourself without comparing. To identify your talents, your strengths. Because it’s so easy to tell ourselves that someone else probably does it, or is, better. And the thing is, that’s probably true. There are probably people all over this planet who are better at so many things than me. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t make me less of a person. The fact that someone out there does it better doesn’t mean I can’t do it. Or that I’m not good in my own way.
Basically, I just want to remind you that you are you for a reason. A very important reason. And some of us are still seeking our purpose. Some of us already know it. Some of us are completely confident. Some of us struggle daily. And the honest truth is
most of us are a cocktail of all of the above. And that’s okay.
I don’t want you to ever have those thoughts. The kind I shared above. Being you is never a just thing. Being yourself is the hardest and easiest thing you’ll ever have to do. And who you are, what you are, matters.
And maybe you just needed someone to remind you of that.
**For the sake of extra realness, this post was written and posted in real time
