by Joey | Feb 16, 2015 | Throwback
This is hard for me to admit. But for the sake of keeping things extra real around here, I think it’s probably important to share.
I keep a paper journal; I always have. And no, that’s not what I hesitated to share. But sometimes, when things get extra rough, it’s nice to have documentation. It’s comforting to look back at other experiences knowing somehow, we made it through.
So the other night, I was digging through my past. And I found this…
I always thought
my opinions, desires, thoughts, etc
didn’t matter
because I was just me.
Seeing that, reading those words, knowing that I lived my life that way for a long, long time makes my stomach hurt. When you’re shut down enough times, you stop bothering. You start to question if anything, anything, you say, think, want, even matters. To live your life feeling like less of a person than anyone else around you is not okay. And don’t even get me started on the whole “just” thing. You aren’t just anything. Do you hear me?
I have my theories, but it’s hard for me to pin down exactly why I lived a good chunk of my life feeling that way. That I didn’t matter. That I wasn’t enough because I was just me. And as I grew up, I watched my friends blossom in to these confident, competent people, and I just felt lost. Because who was I to get any of the things I wanted?
I felt like I wasn’t enough.
It’s hard, isn’t it? To look at yourself without comparing. To identify your talents, your strengths. Because it’s so easy to tell ourselves that someone else probably does it, or is, better. And the thing is, that’s probably true. There are probably people all over this planet who are better at so many things than me. And that’s okay. But that doesn’t make me less of a person. The fact that someone out there does it better doesn’t mean I can’t do it. Or that I’m not good in my own way.
Basically, I just want to remind you that you are you for a reason. A very important reason. And some of us are still seeking our purpose. Some of us already know it. Some of us are completely confident. Some of us struggle daily. And the honest truth is
most of us are a cocktail of all of the above. And that’s okay.
I don’t want you to ever have those thoughts. The kind I shared above. Being you is never a just thing. Being yourself is the hardest and easiest thing you’ll ever have to do. And who you are, what you are, matters.
And maybe you just needed someone to remind you of that.
**For the sake of extra realness, this post was written and posted in real time
by Joey | Feb 13, 2015 | Throwback
OPI Can’t Find My Czechbook
Color Club Harp On It (heart)
This week…I mean…can we not? The good news is it freaking flew right by! Let’s hope for a better week next week! And y’all, it’s Friday the 13th. Maybe we’ll actually have some good luck today since our luck on normal days seems to have run out haha!
Anyway, because I’ve been captain complainer lately, here are some things that made me happy this week:
- Counting Crows station on Pandora
- Quick runs in nice weather
- Long walks with the pup
- Being in bed by 8PM on Wednesday night with many episodes of The Good Wife.
- The husband cooking dinner (and cleaning it up). He’s a great cook (and actually likes to cook) but is rarely home to cook, so yay for that!
- Starbucks bacon and gouda sandwiches
- Ha, my remote office at Starbucks for that matter…I spent many hours there this week.
- Lots of dreaming. Lots and lots of dreaming.
- Reading a book that made me smile from the inside out! And reading 70% of it in one evening.
Okay friends, so maybe this week wasn’t all bad. What are some things that made you happy this week?
Happy Friday!
by Joey | Feb 12, 2015 | Throwback
++ This has been one of those weeks where there just aren’t enough hours in the day. I had myself completely stressed out on Tuesday, and at the end of the day I just had a startling realization that I was putting the pressure on myself. It was hugely relieving to take a step back, reevaluate, and breathe.
++ On Monday, Kristina came by for a lunch date which was a fun way to break up a Monday! Of course, when we snagged the hubs’ car to run up to Subway really quickly, I then couldn’t get the car to start (it’s a finicky British car, ugh). So that was entertaining. Anyway, it’ll definitely be nice to have her on campus some this semester! (and before anyone asks, no, family, there’s nothing wrong with J’s car. It was an operator error ;))
++ Like everywhere else, it seems, the weather here in NC is totally bipolar. We started the week with gorgeous 70 degree weather and now our high is like 30. I just don’t get it. My body isn’t a fan of the whiplash, either. I’ve woken up feeling like I got hit by a bus nearly every day this week.
++ I watch The Bachelor. I know, I know. But I do. And I really only have Mia to blame (who convinced me all those years ago–we’re talking way back in Ben’s season). But anyway–does anyone feel like all of a sudden we’re down to The Women Tell All and hometown dates? Like, how the heck did that happen? I have many, many opinions. I don’t want to spoil it for anyone who isn’t up to date (and don’t spoil it for me–I don’t read spoilers–so I only know up to the latest episode) but if YOU opinions, let’s chat!
++ If I dominated and kicked ass in January, February has already been one giant failure. I didn’t go into this month with much direction or any specific goals, and I’m regretting that. The first half of the month is pretty much over, I think I need to take the second half by the nads and turn it around.
This might be the most boring edition of Stuff & Things to date, but you know what? Sometimes life is just kind of boring. Am I right?
Now it’s your turn! Hopefully you have more fun things to share this week than I do!
document.write(”);
by Joey | Feb 11, 2015 | Throwback
Sinful Shine: your’s truly
Essie: jazzy jubilent
An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.
So when life is pulling you back with difficulties,
It means you are going to launch into something great.
So just focus and keep aiming.
We’ve all seen hard times. It’s just how life goes. There’s a season for all things. It’s what you do with those hard times that matters. It’s what you learn. It’s how you grow. It’s about where you choose to put your focus.
You can sit in the corner and have a pity party for yourself. Or you can praise God for the storm he’s given you. Are you dealing with something really hard right now? My guess is yes, you probably are. I am. And it’s easy to want to curl in, go fetal. But what I’ve learned is to praise Jesus for this storm. He is changing my life. He is changing me. And while it’s painful and scary…
It is good.
by Joey | Feb 10, 2015 | Throwback
This has been floating around blogland for a while, and I made a mental note to hold on to it for a day I was feeling particularly uninspired. And it looks like today is that day! Here are some things you probably never needed to know about me!
4 names people call me other than my real name:
- Jo
- Babe
- Gush
- Mrs. Hodges
4 jobs I’ve had:
- Nanny
- Advertising Account Executive
- Cupcake baker, decorator, seller
- Apartment Complex Assistant Manager
4 movies I’ve seen more than once:
- Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion
- Clueless
- 10 Things I Hate About You
- The Notebook
4 books I’d recommend:
- Unbreak My Heart Melissa Walker
- Slammed Colleen Hoover
- The Sea of Tranquility Katja Millay
- On The Island Tracey Gavis Graves
4 places I’ve lived:
- Raleigh, NC
- Athens, GA
- Charlotte, NC
- Canoga Park, CA
4 places I’d rather be right now:
- On a beach
- In Charleston
- Uptown Charlotte with friends
- In Pakistan with Myrtle
4 things I don’t eat:
- Peppers
- Greek yogurt
- Coconut
- Cranberries
4 of my favorite foods:
- SUSHI!
- French fries
- Pizza
- Dessert (mainly, chocolate)
4 TV shows I watch:
- FRIENDS
- Last Man Standing
- Shark Tank
- 2 Broke Girls
4 things I’m looking forward to this year:
- Amber’s wedding in Charleston!
- Finishing book #2
- Diving head first into my career
- Spending time with new & old friends
4 things I’m always saying:
- Are you a pretty girl? (To Bailey)
- Where are you going? (driving J insane)
- What do you want, Bubbie? (to Cam)
- Are you hot? (My way of asking J if we can turn off the fan)
