by Joey | May 29, 2014 | Throwback
We weren’t always this happy, my husband and I. Our first few years were sort of rough. I know a lot of that was due in part to adjusting to living together, having no money, and learning how to prioritize our happiness. But a lot of it, too, was because we weren’t exactly in sync. We always loved each other. But I’m not sure that we were exactly aware of the other all of the time: what we each did every day; what we wanted; what makes us happy.
In the few short years that we’ve been married, we’ve gone through a lot. Pair that with our unusually difficult dating history, and you might just have a recipe for a stable marriage. I’m not saying that in order to be happy or stable you have to go through crap. But what I am saying is that going through crap kind of speeds up that process.
In the winter of 2012, J was offered the job here at Campbell. We were living happily in Charlotte in a house we had just barely moved into and made home. No sooner than he got the call he was out the door, and I was left behind. This isn’t a story you haven’t heard before. But it’s an important part of our story. In that time we spent apart, I was forced to reassess my myself, my priorities and my marriage. When everything feels like it’s falling apart, suddenly what you need is very clear. Everything else was stripped away. All that fluff we all let ourselves get so distracted by was no longer important. At all.
Moving here meant big changes. I joke that there isn’t a Target (I mean, there really isn’t–but I joke about how important that is). Finding a job for me would be nearly impossible. We wouldn’t have immediate access to every store we’d ever need. Our house wouldn’t be the same caliber house we’d leave behind in Charlotte. All of those things mattered so much to me for about the first week J was gone. And then none of it mattered at all anymore. In actuality–he wasn’t gone three days before I called him hysterically crying that we just needed to do whatever we could do to be in the same place. I’d give up Target. I kid–but you get my point.
I’ve always wanted to stay home and write, but our lifestyle never allowed for that. Bills have to get paid. Seeing how the move was rattling me, J suggested I stay home. Our house would be cheaper. We would eat meals in because I’d be home to make them (and well…you can only eat so many wings from The County Seat). We’d cut out gas costs with his job a mile away and mine across the hall. Target wouldn’t eat $200 of every paycheck. This move meant really big changes.
I appreciate that he works hard and that allows me to stay home and chase my dreams. He appreciates that his underwear is always clean and his meals are always prepared (and he never has to clean up the mess). I am a much less grumpy person. He gets to have the job he loves and focus everything he has on that. And I get to do what I love. And we’ve both made sacrifices to make this happen.
It’s this cycle of appreciation. This move, the one I was so allergic to, transformed my marriage. It’s a lot easier not to care about the little things that might just piss you off when you see the big picture. At the end of every day, my heart is grateful for the work my husband does. And his is grateful for the work I do.
We figured out our rhythm and our priorities. We learned what we can live without. And then when I got so sick last year, I didn’t have the added worry about how much work I was missing on the days I couldn’t drag myself out of bed. There were so many things with this move that neither of us could really understand–but it ended up exactly how it should.
And we learned how to just be happy.
But I’ll always miss Target.
I kid.
by Joey | May 14, 2014 | Throwback
YOU GUYS.
YOU GUYS!!!
After three painfully long weeks away– my husband FINALLY comes home tonight!! As you well know, he’s a college football coach. And they’ve all been seeing a lot of this lately…
Oh, recruiting season…
>>I confess that I didn’t mention that he’s been away on any social media because I didn’t want any of the murderers to know I was totally alone and take the opportunity to come and kill me. Legit, right?
>>I confess that the husband will come home to find me a little tanner (thanks, Jergins Natural Glow) and a little more broken (thanks, stress fracture).
>> I confess that there may be a few shoes randomly placed around the house. No, I’m not messy. With J being gone, I had to get brave enough to kill some spiders. The shoes mark their carcasses so J can get them when he gets home. I realize this is probably the grosses thing ever but I DON’T DO SPIDERS. And don’t lie. You do it too…just maybe not for 3 weeks.
>> I confess that I found some old comedian CDs (that my sweet late uncle burned for me when I was going off to college and terrified of the 5 hour drive alone) while digging my junk drawer. We’re totally busting those out for our 8 hour drive tomorrow!
>>I confess that I was sent a dress because I’m a blogger. And I was so excited because it was perfect for my brother in law’s wedding this Saturday. But instead I was left to frantically search my closet for any maxi dress that wasn’t super casual. Because boot. This is my life…
>> I confess that I think the idea of renting tuxes is the dumbest thing ever. I know it must be done–but I went with J to try on his tux about a month ago and the tux was double what I’ve paid for any bridesmaid’s dress. And I got to keep those. Anyone want to go into the tux rental business with me? We’d make a fortune.
>> I confess that my copyeditor has had my manuscript since Monday. And I am
so impressed with
Sarah’s work already. I’ll admit that this part isn’t the easiest for me. Is it really for any writer? I’ve always been kind of allergic to the idea of letting
anyone read my stuff–so this is a big deal for me–but already I can tell that with her help this book will be much better than anything I could do on my own. I know this is one more step that I have to get comfortable with. But if there’s one thing I learned from the whole running thing–it’s that I need to get comfortable with being
uncomfortable.
Happy Wednesday, folks! I’m off to, I don’t know–maybe actually SHOWER because my hubby comes home todayyyyyyyyy!!
by Joey | May 12, 2014 | Throwback
That I am overwhelmed by all of you.
The amount of encouragement and support I’ve received from each of you in the last several months has been nothing short of amazing. I am constantly wowed by all of you. And I really, really mean that!
>>Time doesn’t matter when friendship is involved.
Sarah and I went to high school together. We were friends, but not particularly close. Since the internet exploded, somehow we reconnected in the years just after college. She’s also now my copyeditor! I wonder what the 15 year old versions of ourselves would have thought if a future telling angel came down and told us this would be our lives at this point. Either way? I’m so thankful that an old friend has become such a dear friend. She took the time to come by my parents’ house on Saturday during her brief trip home from California. And we had such a wonderful visit. We haven’t seen each other in TWELVE YEARS.
>> Bedtime during a sleepover with my HS bestie is still no earlier than 2AM. And we still talk until someone just doesn’t respond anymore.
>> If it’s 12AM and my dog escapes into the night as cars are backing out of my parents’ driveway, I will scream my head off. Saturday night, as the party winded down, I was on the recliner with my boot off because my foot was swelling. Bailey had put herself to bed on the couch because she was totally worn out. After a bit, I realized she wasn’t next to me anymore. And then I saw that the door was open. Fun Fact: Bailey bolts. I panicked and ran outside and down the driveway sans boot screaming for her. She’s a dark dog and people were backing out of our very steep driveway. It must have sounded like I was being murdered because she came RIGHT back to me from down by the street (not that I could see her). Also–whenever I am hugely relieved, I will cry. Or maybe I was crying because I ran barefoot on a fractured foot. But either way, I cried.
>>My mom will turn anything into a party. And that’s pretty freaking awesome. It also means that I will always be completely exhausted after spending a weekend at “home.”
by Joey | May 8, 2014 | Throwback
>> This week started with a visit to the Athletic Trainer (perk of being a football wife–thank you so much to the Campbell Staff for seeing me) and the husband getting rear ended in a hit and run accident. I’ll admit it. I might have pulled out the bottle of Jack (Daniels, my friends) after that day.
>>What a difference a week makes, huh? Last week I was excitedly sharing with you how my body was changing thanks to running. Yeah, it’s changing alright. But this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind! haha. After my visit with the AT on Monday, I had an appointment set for Xrays today.
The good news is I finished the c25k program! I completed it with a 30 (well, sort of 30+ because I was determined to get at least somewhat CLOSE to 3 miles–let’s face it…homegirl is a slowpoke) minute run on Sunday. I felt great except for my foot which has been nagging me for weeks. Yeah, well. Myra, I can hear you yelling all the way from halfway across the world. I’m plugging my ears singing “lalala.” Love you, gush. Stupid stress fracture. This would happen to me. Netflix is a much safer activity. I kid. Sort of.
>> Okay, Jennie? You still have that glitter cannon, right? Because I’m going to need you to fire it now. THE REWRITES ARE COMPLETE. It’s hard to say that because I don’t know if I’ll ever actually feel “done,” but it’s time to step away now and let the world at it. Meeting with my old dear friend Sarah on Saturday morning and it’s out of my hands! ::runs and hides in corner:: ::okay, maybe limps::
>> Orly Preamp, Sally Hansen xtreme wear White On, Sinful colors Daddy’s girl (Flowers) and Pure Ice Beware.
Let’s just hope next week is a lot less dramatic!
by Joey | May 1, 2014 | Throwback
>> This is kind of one of those “uh, no duh” situations. But I never expected to see my body changing through the c25k program. I know that’s kind of stupid, but I wasn’t in it for that if that makes any sense. I was doing it to challenge myself mentally. Obviously it’s a physical challenge, but I don’t know–it just wasn’t on my radar. Sometime last week I was changing and caught a glimpse of my abdomen and just thought well hello there definition. I’m feeling better and stronger every single day, and I’m so thankful for that.
Keeping things very real here:
-my skin is strange and breaks out in hives/splotches whenever I get warm (weird, I know)
-this is immediately after a run, so yes I’m sweaty and gross
-my stomach is a road map of scars because I’ve had too many surgeries.
>> For the love of everything holy, PLEASE pay attention to medical bills. You may not be dealing with anything of that sort–but just keep that nugget of info handy in case you ever do. Insurance companies and hospital billing are not flawless systems, okay? Do not rely on them to handle everything solely. Be aware of your coverage and pay attention to what is being billed and how. Our deductible (which is extremely high) was met pretty early on in the whole medical saga last year. Lucky for us–it ended up being a good thing because in the long run our deductible was such a small percentage of what we would have owed once it was all said and done. With that said, however, two extremely high bills (total of $6,000) were billed out of network. I found that strange considering the two hospitals in our area are run by the same system. And the other was billed and covered in network. I had to be persistent, but I finally got someone on the phone (4 months later) and they resubmitted the claim. It was a mistake on their end. A mistake that would have cost us SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS if I hadn’t caught it. So all that is a very long way of saying just know what your coverage is–even if it seems hugely confusing.
>> When I’m on my own for dinner, I eat the weirdest things. The other night I had a salad, some chips and guac, a bowl of cereal and ice cream.
>> There have been crazy storms in our area the last few days. I don’t normally mind storms at all–but when they bring freaking tornados? No thanks.
>> OPI Strawberry Margarita. I hope it was worth the $88 I paid for it (this was the polish I was going to get when the Camry broke down and I had to call a tow truck. This is my life).
I picked out flecks from
Seche Vite Collage Overlay (thanks,
Jennie) to use as decor.
Sometimes a simple mani is necessary in life.
