Charlotte Creatives with CLTivate, The Gallery, & Bliss Creative

by Joey | Oct 25, 2016 | Real Life

Do you believe in random connections? I don’t. I think everyone we meet is meant to cross our paths for one reason or another.

I love when the reason for random encounters becomes abundantly obvious. I like it even more when you can identify those encounters as God Things.

You know what I mean, right? When you can actively see and feel God’s involvement in something.

That’s what it was like when Amanda and I randomly met Zack from CLTivate in an odd series of events. We became fast friends, and after he shared his story, we excitedly put a meeting on our calendars to chat business.

Long story short, he hired Bliss Creative to help spread the word about his non-profit.  We put together a local creatives event partnered with The Gallery South End, and it ended up being such a successful event!

I’m not an event planner. Not even close. In fact, everything about putting an event together gives me major anxiety. Suddenly, I’m sixteen all over again wondering if anyone is going to show up to my party.

Not only did most everyone show up, it ended up being such an amazing group of people. You never know with something like this, but everyone was so lovely and got along so well.

📷 Rabi Majid

Halfway through the event I just stepped back and thanked God. One chance meeting that could have gone totally unrecognized turned into a meaningful business relationship that ended up bringing so many wonderful creative minds together.

The truth is, moments like these are everywhere. You just have to open your heart to them. Growing up, I was quite a social butterfly, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve become much more introverted and shy. I’m so thankful that my business requires for me to push myself out of my comfort zone and make connections with people I might otherwise miss out on.

I vlogged the day of the event! It would mean a lot of me if you’d subscribe to my youtube channel!

DIY Anxiety Treatment: How to Cope with Anxiety Without Medication

by Joey | Oct 20, 2016 | Real Life

A couple weeks ago, my husband packed up and headed into the mountains for four days. Is it just me, or do guys have the dumbest ideas? On what planet is that a vacation? No, I’m actually asking…

It’s also taking every ounce of my self-control not to analyze why my husband’s version of a vacation involves him hiding in the woods for days on end, unreachable. Uh…so what does that say about me and our marriage? Kidding. Sort of. All marriages could probably benefit from a few days of hiding. Kidding again. Or am I?

A few keys things to note here: 

1. He’d never really gone hiking before. (What if he realizes halfway through that he can’t finish)?
2. His trip coincided with Hurricane Matthew. (Oh good, he’ll slip on mud from all the rain and fall straight off the mountain. Cool).
3. I suffer from anxiety on a normal day. (So let’s put her husband in the thick of the mountains where there’s no cell reception for days on end in the middle of a hurricane. Sure. She’ll handle that no problem).

To say that I was anxious about the entire situation is a gross understatement. The weeks leading up to his trip, I begged and pleaded for him not to go. What was a vacation for him was going to send me to an early grave.

I don’t take medication for my anxiety, so I’m crazy in tune with my body and recognizing when a panic attack could possibly strike. Feeling a panic attack coming on makes me feel violated, like I’m not in control of my body, thoughts, or emotions. It’s exhausting and terrifying. And I have a really hard time explaining my anxiety because to be quite honest, anxiety is rarely rational. And not being able to explain my anxiety makes me feel anxious. Go figure.

Knowing and recognizing your symptoms of anxiety is crucial.

Here’s what my symptoms of anxiety look like:

1. My heart races and I have a hard time catching my breath.
2. My mind races, flipping through every possible worst case scenario. Easing my mind is nearly impossible.
3. My senses are exponentially and painfully heightened.
4. This is sort of vague, but I don’t know how else to explain it. I feel completely panicky. Imagine how you might feel if you could see a lit candle toppling over in your living room but you’re strapped to the couch, unable to right the candle before it sets your home ablaze.

My DIY Anxiety Treatment:

• Know your limits. And recognize that it’s alright to remove yourself from any situation or conversation that sets off your anxiety. When my husband was in the mountain, my limit was certain conversations. When someone would start to express their own concerns about his hike/the weather/etc, I would kindly but firmly shut down the conversation, explaining that I simply could not handle it and asked them to respect that.
• Create a calming environment. This can be any number of things, but for me it involves:
  • Comfortable clothing.
  • Fresh, warm scented candles.
  • Relaxation inducing essential oils: lavender, eucalyptus, rose, vetiver, ylang ylang, bergamot, chamomile, & frankincense. Many essential oil companies produce relaxation cocktails like the one featured above from Target.
  • Pet support. People might roll their eyes at the whole emotional support animals thing, but the results are undeniable. Snuggling has been scientifically proven to suppress your nervous system actually causing you to calm down. So get a dog. Or a cat. Or a snuggly Lizard, if you can find one.
• Get fresh air. Gentle exercise and fresh air are known to reduce stress and lower your blood pressure, ultimately relieving you of anxiety-like symptoms.
• Find support. Tell someone you trust how you’re feeling and specifically ask for their support. My girlfriends recognized my anxiety level surrounding the trip and made a point to keep me as occupied and wrapped in support as possible.
• Do something you love. Bonus if it keeps your mind occupied. I was busy most of his hike with re-writing the copy for the Bliss Creative website and establishing this website. Both of which required a lot of concentration, thus keeping my mind perfectly occupied.
• Know that feeling anxious is okay, and it will pass. I’ve learned that trying to ignore my anxiety only causes it to be more destructive. Instead, I recognize its presence and assure myself that I can cope my way through it.

I managed to escape the experience without an actual panic attack surprising pretty much everyone who knows me. I know…they all have such faith in me. ::eye roll:: Just kidding, that anxiety thing is a nasty bitch and is relentless when it rears its ugly head. Even I’m surprised I survived that his hike without a panic attack.

**It’s important to acknowledge here that I am in no way a medical professional, and there’s nothing wrong with taking medication.

I highly recommend seeking medical attention if you believe you suffer from anxiety**

For extra fun, I vlogged the day he left/his first night out in the woods if you’re interested in seeing how that day panned out!

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Letting Go

by Joey | Oct 16, 2016 | Real Life

You know that scene in Forest Gump where he’s running forever in the same direction and everyone thinks it’s just the best thing ever? And then suddenly he decides I think I’ll go home now? That’s me right now. I think I’ll go home.

This year, I’ve come to the realization that I’ve kept hold of things, I mean white-knuckled-death-grip on things that were no longer bringing me joy or serving purpose because I never allowed for myself to entertain the idea of letting them go.

I don’t know how that happens exactly, but I’ve also come to the understanding that I’m not alone in this. I’m thirty years old, and only just now am I giving myself the permission I’ve needed to just be my damn self.

I’ve accepted my quirks and weirdness and would prefer not to keep any of it tucked away, hidden for fear of judgement. I’ve started to find my people, and with that I’ve learned what unconditional love and full acceptance actually feels like. And for the first time in my entire life I feel like I actually can do what I want, and that being myself isn’t anything to be ashamed of.

[Tweet “I want real and open and candid. I want purpose and relate-ability. I want to say what I need to say and maybe what you need to hear.”]

I want real and open and candid. I want purpose and relate-ability. I want to say what I need to say and maybe what you need to hear. I want to feel less alone, and I want you to feel like you’re not the only one who _____.

I’ve spent most of my life being told who I am and worse what I am. I was bullied in middle and high school for being quirky and weird, for not fitting in. I was called slut and whore for being friendly. I got chastised for talking too loud only to then have my silence misinterpreted as bitchiness. It always seemed that no matter which way I stepped, I was wrong. So after a while, I stopped bothering.

And that’s where I messed up. That’s where I failed. I stopped using my voice. I stopped trying. I allowed myself to be boxed in and bullied into submission. I allowed opinions louder than my own dictate my life.

I’ve chosen my own path. I’m doing my own thing. But if I keep it all to myself what the hell good is that doing? I’ve spent the majority of my life quietly rebelling, slamming my shoulders into the walls praying they’ll come crumbling down quietly.

And that stops now.

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