by Joey | Jul 7, 2020 | Devotional Series, Joyful by Design, Real Life
“Everything is out of charge,” I said to my mom as I walked my airpods over to the charging cable. “Man, if that’s not a metaphor for life right now.”
I promised myself a quiet weekend. I bought a craft at Hobby Lobby on Wednesday evening to prepare for my 4-day weekend. A blended gift of working the Saturday before and the 4th of July holiday. I didn’t realize how much I needed some down time until it was upon me. My head, my heart and my soul all felt tired.
But on Saturday, as I set myself up on the screened-in porch with my cross stitching, my tea and my iPad queued up to 90 Day Fiance; Happily Ever After (delightfully trashy TV–a must, duh), I discovered the fatal flaw in my plan. Everything was out of charge.
That didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy my afternoon on the porch, no. It just meant it was going to have to look a little different than I’d envisioned. It also meant I was going to have to be patient, allow time for things to get ready. I was annoyed with myself for not being prepared. And in that moment, the perfectionist in me started to spiral a little into that negative self-talk trap. But then I stopped, pulled together my electronics and went on the hunt for a solution. The airpods charge in no time. I found an extension cord and plugged in the iPad that was at 1%. And I settled in for a quiet, relaxing afternoon.
And then a storm blew in.
I tell you this silly story of minor inconveniences because on a bigger scale, it describes the cycle of life my husband and I have been in since early February of 2019. Every time we think we have something pinned down, life swoops in, knocks it out of our hands and we’re back at square one. It’s disappointing and exhausting. And it’s forced us to have to rely more on faith than ever before.
As someone with trust issues to begin with, 2019 was a true mind fuck in the way of trusting God, the universe, whoever/whatever you believe in. (For the record, in my life, it’s God. Always God.) You know in the old school Looney Toons cartoons when Sylvester the cat is on some kind of big mission but keeps not just failing miserably, but getting just totally beat up in the process? Something sort of like this? Y’all. That was how things went last year.
I’ve talked about finding faith in a season of waiting before. I’ve discussed faith & hope in a season of struggle. I believe in God’s plan and timing. I know God has already won the battle. And yet, despite it all, when I’m plopped down in the midst of a blended season of struggle and waiting, I return to that familiar place. That place where things feel unfair and exhausting. That place where pretty much on a daily basis I look up and say “Really? Really?!”
In some ways, I cherish these seasons because I know there’s a story being woven together. A great reveal of God’s victory. A testimony to God’s glory and fulfilled promises. But even with a proven track record–knowing God has literally never ever let us down before–these seasons still hurt. They still feel unfair.
Let me tell you something right now, friend. If you feel like Sylvester right now–where every turn leads to a frying pan to the face and tweety birds flying around your head, hear me. All these disappointments? They’re leading you somewhere beautiful. God breaks our hearts in the most beautiful ways. He uses this pain, these disappointments to shape us, to guide us, to move our feet from on place to another.
We are stubborn. So. Very. Stubborn. And I promise, if you’re anything like me, without the set backs, these disappointments, these heartbreaks, you would never move from one place to the other. Probably due in part to fear. To the limiting beliefs you’ve been marinating in.
Yes, you might feel out of charge right now. You might be met with one disappointment after another. And it sucks. Trust me, trust me, I know. But there is something beautiful coming. Hold faith, my friend. Hold faith.
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:30
by Joey | Jun 19, 2020 | Real Life
Is it just me or did this week fly right by? Some of you might not know this, but I now work part time for the college where my husband coaches. It started out as something to get me out of the house and into the community where we were building our lives. But it quickly turned into one of my favorite places to be. And as you can imagine, the coronavirus has wreaked havoc on our traditional operations there. And this week has been crazy busy as we gear up for our first of many orientations next week. I swear it was just Monday.
Remember how I mentioned how much I was loving the Galloway method? Well, that’s still true. I’m totally digging how “easy” it is to crush 4+ miles at a time. But friends? We’ve hit a snag. Remember all those years ago when I was working on the edits for the book? And I decided to challenge myself with the C25K program? And then I landed in a doctor’s office who joked well, I’ve seen this before: couch to 5k to boot? Spoiler alert: I’m pretty sure I have another stress fracture in my left foot. I mean, you’d think I’d learn by now that watching Netflix is a much safer activity. I’m already dreading the down time. I’ve really come to enjoy my time on the pavement–and these days my anxious little heart (and head!) really need it.
Speaking of anxiety. Woof. I mean, the current state of the world is enough to make anyone feel a bit anxious. But if you’ve been following along for any amount of time, you know that our 2019 was the pits. Like, take into consideration everything that 2020 has doled out and I would still argue that 2019 was a harder year personally. (Please know and understand I recognize this statement is dripping with privilege. That little joke was a lot funnier before the last few weeks.) Well, friends. We are THISCLOSE to making some pretty big changes around here. I have to be annoying and say that I can’t say anything specific quite yet–but if you wouldn’t mind sending up some prayers, crossing your fingers & toes and maybe eating a few extra desserts in our honor these next few weeks, I’d appreciate it. I can’t help but have these lyrics on repeat in my head.
We’re in the homestretch of the hard times
We took a hard left, but we’re alright.
Yeah, life can sure try to put love through it,
but we built this right, so nothing’s gonna move it.
–The Bones; Maren Morris
I’m excited to share all that’s about to unfold. But I also promise that once I finally personally process everything that’s happened the last 487 days, I will share. Because you know how much I love a good God story. And this one is so dang full of unimaginable and completely unexpected disappointment, heartache, fear and unfairness. But it’s also just so, so beautiful. And despite the fact that in some ways, we’re still very much in the midst of it all, I can stand here and say God. Is. Good.
Until next time, be well and stay joyful.
by Joey | Jun 12, 2020 | Real Life
Happy Friday, friends! Even though I had Monday off (it was my Birthday!), it’s felt like an incredibly long week. Things were busy, the weather was crazy and I’ve had an annoying, lingering sinus headache for literally three days now. So to say that I’m already looking forward to crawling into bed early tonight with a fresh episode of New Girl would be pretty accurate.
Since quitting the big socials (FB & IG), I felt inspired to show up here old school weekly roundup style. I hope that’s okay.
It only took 34 years, but I know how tall I am now.
On Sunday night, after a night around a friend’s fire pit and one (yes, I said one) cocktail, we pulled out the tape measure. I know, things get rowdy in your mid-thirties. Don’t be jealous. But after years of being completely unsure how tall I actually am (this is stemming off the two year period where I really didn’t know my age), we decided to get downright technical. Turns out, I’m just about 5’2 exactly. This is information you didn’t ask for. You have it now. You’re welcome.
The right message at the right time.
If you know me at all, you know I don’t have notifications turned on for anything on my phone. Unless it’s a text or a phone call, nothing is getting through. But about 1.5 years ago, when I was in a particularly tough place emotionally, I turned the push notifications on for my Bible app. And I have to say, more often than not, I’m served the exact message I need in the mornings. And this particular message was definitely needed this week.
Run, Joey. Run!
Color me surprised. I’ve been running (and I use that term very loosely) since 2013. It started with the C25K app, and I landed somewhere in the land of a comfortable 2ish miles every other day since. I’ve definitely taken extended periods of time off from running, and I fell out of love with it when we moved to Wake Forest. (Our neighborhood is especially hilly and I hate it.) A friend of mine told me about the Galloway method years ago, but I never really tried it. And then Katie Levans shared about it in detail on IG (before I quit), and y’all. HOLY DIFFERENCE MAKER. I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be going 4+ miles comfortably. I’ll share about the method in detail in a future post, but I’ll post the weekly intervals below. The theory is that you’re meant to do each “week” for 5 days.
Week 1: Walk 4; run 1 x12
Week 2: Walk 3; run 1 x15
Week 3 Walk 2; run 2 x12
Week 4: Walk 2; run 2 x15
Well, that about does it for this week. Enjoy your weekend, friends!
by Joey | Jun 9, 2020 | Loves
Remember when you could trust the recommendations you saw online? Before the term influencer had ever been uttered? Yeah, I miss those days. It was my favorite part of blogging. There were certain bloggers who I trusted wholeheartedly. If they told me a shampoo changed their hair, I bought (and loved) it. If another blogger gave a book 5 stars, I read it immediately.
These recommendations had weight behind them. There really wasn’t anything in it for the blogger except the promise of community and building your reputation. These days, influencers ruin everything. (Or maybe I’m just being dramatic.) I feel like I can’t trust anything anyone says about a product anymore. Everyone is so sneaky with disclaimers. And the word amazing can only be used so many times before it loses all meaning.
So in the spirit of honesty, I thought I’d share a few things I’ve tried recently.
Billie Razor. I won’t lie, I fell victim to all the influencers. I usually stand pretty strong against those types of campaigns, but someone said something that made my ears perk up. They said, and I quote, now that I use the Billie razor, I don’t have to shave nearly as often. I shave my legs every single day (yes, even in the winter), so that claim got me. It’s a lie, folks. At least, it didn’t ring true for me. The razor is actually quite good, I like the magnetic holder, and it’s pretty inexpensive. The subscription replacement head delivery will come in clutch, I’m sure. It’s a close shave, and I could definitely go a day or two without shaving if I needed to, but I wouldn’t. Maybe I’m just hairy. Ultimately, I guess I recommend it. But only if you’re like me and loathe going into an actual store these days.
Mary Kay Microdermabrasion & Pore Refine. A colleague started selling MK and asked me to help her test out her virtual pamper session system when we all went on lockdown. She mailed me some samples and walked me through everything on a Zoom call. Now, I used to sell MK back in the day (like waaaaaay back in the day, we’re talking 2005), so I didn’t think anything would really stand out for me. But holy crap. This stuff literally changed my skin in just a few uses. Now that I’m getting old(er), skincare is priority #1 for me always. And this stuff is primo. Recommend.
Herbal life loaded teas. The same colleague I mentioned above (she’s such an unintentional, genuine influencer!) got me hooked on this place called Wake Up Nutrition. They make these Herbal life loaded teas that have the base HL tea, aloe, Liftoff (which is basically like an energy boost), and sugar-free drink flavoring. Sure, they’re tasty (which is a plus), but holy energy batman. I’ve been sort of losing my taste for coffee lately. Most of you already know that I suffer from pretty bad IBS, so coffee just destroys me. I have my one cup when I wake up (at 5AM), but then I typically just stick with water. I have been crashing hard by like noon. But these teas keep me going and they don’t mess with my stomach at all. I went ahead and bought the herbal life tea from Amazon, snagged some aloe from Target and replaced the lift off (which is expensive) with 4C Energy Rush (found at Harris Teeter, Food Lion, Walmart, Amazon, etc). And it’s literally my favorite part of my morning these days. Definitely recommend. (Now, disclaimer: Herbal life has weight loss claims, etc. I’m literally just in it for the caffeine and flavors.)
Crockpot chicken tacos. These aren’t new for me. But the way we serve them now is definitely new. I learned this recipe from the last family I nannied. But these days, I take chicken breasts (usually just two), 1 packet of taco seasoning, 1 packet of ranch seasoning and a little chicken broth (usually just to the top of the chicken, sometimes a bit less). I let them cook all day then serve them on a toasted tortilla with Ortega taco sauce, sour cream & cheese. They’re freaking delicious and the leftovers are even better. You’re welcome.
Okay, I think that’s about all I have for now. Let me know if you use and love any of these things. If you try them, you gotta let me know what you think!
by Joey | Jun 5, 2020 | Real Life
I picked a bad week to quit social media. If you’ve been around here for a while then you know I never really fell in love with social media the way I did with blogging. And I felt pressured to transition into that world as the platforms progressed and blogging, as they say, slowly died. So I found myself there, wandering amidst the crowds feeling totally out of place. I couldn’t ever find my own voice there. I’m not the kind of person to stay quiet in the room, but there? I did. Because I just never felt like I had a place. My words would float just out of earshot, never really landing. Not the way they did here.
So on the 31st of May, I decided to just walk away. I didn’t make some big announcement. I didn’t post saying I was leaving or when I’d be back. I just removed all the apps from my phone. I logged out from everything on my computer and I just…walked away. And then the internet exploded. I missed Blackout Tuesday because I was, sadly, unaware that it was happening because I made a conscious choice to step away from social media. That was a mistake.
Let me make something clear. Black lives matter. It matters. YOU matter. What happened to George Floyd is disgraceful, and that’s just one caught on camera. This brutality has been going on for entirely too long. It disgusts me that here we are in 2020 still fighting the same tired fight. The fact that we even have to have this conversation is incredibly disappointing to me. I don’t know how the value of a human life can even be up for debate.
I do, however, appreciate the conversations that are currently happening. As a white woman, I was born into incredible privilege. I’ve never had to worry if my life was in danger while I’m out in public. Police sirens make me feel safe and protected. And that, right there is a privilege. I have friends of every variety. But as a white woman, I was also taught not to see color. And while the sentiment might have been well-intended, I believe this is where there is a gross disconnect, at least for me.
By not “seeing color,” I did my best to ignore it. To treat everyone the same. But the truth is, we are different. Our backgrounds are different. Our traditions and families are different. I never once hesitated to ask my Pakistani born Muslim bff about her heritage and religion and experiences. I wanted to know all of it. When I visited her family years ago, I got to experience just a small taste of her world and I loved every second of it.
So why have I always done my best to pretend like I don’t notice when someone is black? To not ask questions or have more meaningful, deeper conversations? Because I didn’t want to risk coming across ignorant or rude.
But I am ignorant. I’m incredibly ignorant to the culture and traditions and experiences because I haven’t asked. I haven’t engaged in those conversations for fear of seeming rude. But before I quit social media, I saw a tweet that just so perfectly summed up where I’ve failed in my life up til now. Carlos Rodriguez tweeted:
“I see no color is not the goal.
I see your color and I honor you. I value your input. I will be educated about your lived experiences. I will work against the racism that harms you. You are beautiful. Tell me how to do better. That’s the goal.”
I see your color. I want to know your story. I want to learn about you in every way possible. And I will stand firmly in your corner. You matter.
I thought I was doing the right thing, not seeing color. But it is in that way that I have failed you the most. I will do better. I will be better.
It should go without saying that black lives matter. It should go without saying that human lives have value. It should go without saying that what happened to George Floyd and all the others who have been grossly mistreated, beaten, murdered is disgusting. But sadly, it doesn’t. I will continue to do my part to help get us to a place where those things can go without saying.
EDITING TO ADD:
- CM Library built an anti-racism reading list open to all. No holds, no waits. Access the list HERE.
