by Joey | May 18, 2015 | In the kitchen
When we got married, we were gifted a massive pot. I mean massive. 20 quarts. I knew what it was for, but it sort of seemed like a waste. Over the last almost five years, it’s mostly been a project just to find a place to store it. I’ve used it as storage. I used it for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. But I honestly never thought I’d find a reason to use it in the way it was intended. How was it intended?
Well, I’m Italian. And Italians are meant to make enough pasta on a Sunday to feed an army. But it’s just the two of us. I’ll never need this. And yet, I held on to it because it felt like an abomination to my heritage to get rid of it.
Well yesterday, I dug it out of the tiny little storage closet and scrubbed it. I filled it with many quarts of water and nearly strained a muscle carrying it over to the stove. And then I poured two pounds of pasta into it.
It seems like such a simple thing. Cooking Sunday supper. But if I look back over the last four years and 51 weeks, it strikes me as important. Because the truth is, I honestly couldn’t see this part of our lives when I opened that pot all those years ago. I could only see us exactly as we were. I had no idea what the twists and turns were that our lives would take. And I certainly couldn’t see all the people that would eventually become so important.
So when I opened that pot, I saw it as useless. A burden. Unimportant. But yesterday, I was so thankful we had it. I couldn’t imagine making supper for that many people without it.
And that makes me think about all the other gifts we’ve been given in our lifetime that we once might have seen as useless. That piece of advice. That offer to lend a hand. That connection to someone you couldn’t understand. And how in time their purpose becomes important. Something you couldn’t ever see coming, and there you are armed with the tools to be prepared.
Because that’s how it all goes, really. You think you have your life figured out when you’re twenty two. You’ve got a ring on your hand and plans to move to another state. You’re steadfast with dreams and big ideas. But you can’t see the life that’s ahead of you. Not really, any way.
And that makes me wonder about what’s ahead. Not in an eager, I’m ready for the next step sort of way. Just more of a simple curiosity. I didn’t see this coming, this life. I didn’t know that last nearly five years were just a perfectly choreographed dance to bring us to this point. But now I know that we’re still dancing, following the path to wherever we’re meant to be.
by Joey | May 15, 2015 | Throwback
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You want real life? I’ll give you real life. I’m sporting running shorts for…well, the exact opposite of running, I’ve got an embarrassingly high ponytail sitting on the very top of my head secured with an ever fancy scrunchy that’s somehow clung on since the early nineties, and I’m eating chicken noodle soup with the chicken picked out because ew. That, y’all, is how you bring a Thursday night to life.
But no, really. Out of nowhere this stupid sore throat settled in and I’m basically being a big baby about it. Luckily, tomorrow is Friday. And Friday makes me happy.
I also just have to share that as I’m typing, J is currently experimenting. He’s attempting to make his own frappuccino and all I can think about is what kind of mess is he about to make.
In other news, I got about 20% through The Girl On The Train last weekend while riding in the car to Raleigh. Apparently that’s the only time I can find to read anymore is when I’m trapped in a vehicle for a few hours. It probably helped that the ride was straight out of my worst nightmare with all the stop and go traffic. Hashtag: massively anxious passenger. Also hashtag: every husband’s dream woman.
Sorry, I got off topic. What I meant to say there was that I’ve been dying to find the time to get back to that book! I’m thinking I’m totally going to cash in on this sore throat tomorrow night and buy myself a ticket to seat on the couch with a book for a wild Friday night. Hang around here, apparently I’ll teach you how to party hardy.
Happy [almost] weekend, friends!
*this post contains affiliate links
by Joey | May 13, 2015 | Throwback
As Kristin so carefully pointed out last week, my life did a 180 of sorts in the last few months. And it’s no secret that I don’t have it all together. Far from it, in fact. If there’s ever been a time in my life when I’ve had it together less, I probably would just be laying in the middle of a road somewhere.
Life is a mess right now. A glorious, wonderful mess. But a mess, no less. Miss Has It All Under Control does not have it all under control. And you know what? That’s okay. Because life is busy these days. And I’ll take busy over lonely any day.
So with that said, here are some little things that I’ve found help me feel just a bit better throughout the day. Call them tricks that fool you into thinking you have it all together when in reality…you just…don’t.
Set your coffee pot the night before. It might not seem like that big of a deal. What does it take, 1.5 minutes to get it all set? But trust me, waking up to an already brewed pot just sets the day off on the right foot.
Shower the night before. I never used to be that girl. I had to take showers in the morning to feel like a functioning human being. But you know what else I need to feel like a functioning human? sleep. Hell, if you really want to let it all hang out, give your hair’s natural texture a go. That messy look is in these days, isn’t it? Messy? Bedhead? Who’ll know the difference? (I’m sort of kidding here. sort of).
Use your phone’s calendar. Again, never used to be this person. But taking those extra few minutes to plug even the most ridiculous things into my calendar just makes me feel that much better about my life. There’s something about being able to swipe down and seeing my entire day at a glance that makes me breathe a little easier. I even have when to feed the dog plugged in. There’s nothing too big or too small. It’s all in there. Or these days? I’ll forget it. Poor Bailey…
Get up a little earlier than necessary. Before you call my a hypocrite based on the shower point, bear with me. If your day is go go go, when do you take some time for yourself? Exactly… Set your alarm early enough to give yourself a 15 or 20 minute cushion. Enjoy your coffee. Watch a youtube video. Get a few minutes of reading in. Whatever floats your boat. But I assure you, taking a few minutes to yourself before all the craziness of the day is really important. Sometimes it’s the only time you’ll get all day.
Carry a smaller purse. I mean it. Get all that shit out of there. You need the bare essentials. If I can do it, you can do it. Life is overwhelming enough these days. You don’t need to be inundated with crap when you’re just reaching for your chapstick.
These may not seem like earth shattering tips…and that’s because they aren’t. But these are just a few things that have been making me handle this whole life swap (because really, that’s what it feels like. I just feel bad for whoever got stuck with my Buies Creek life…#sorrynotsorry) a little better.
What are some your favorite ways to feel like you’ve got your life together when you don’t?
Share!
by Joey | May 12, 2015 | Throwback
Sally Hansen Miracle Gel Pink Cadillaquer
I grew up in a house where on Sundays, we had supper. It was different than dinner. Sunday supper was just a few hours after church, and it was always more people than just my family. In fact, it’s where the term “just us” was coined. Whose coming for Sunday supper? Just us. But “just us” was around twenty people.
My mom would make sauce. Anti pasta would be set out on the kitchen table. And the crew would start to trickle in any time after church. The wine would be poured, the kids would play. We’d end the evening watching whatever show was on at the time. I vividly remember watching Married with Children on Sunday nights growing up.
Since getting married nearly five years ago, I’ve wanted to start our own Sunday supper traditions but the timing and location never aligned. When we lived in Charlotte last, we were a good twenty minutes from everyone we knew.
Well, on Sunday, as we were packing our bags to head back to Charlotte from Raleigh, the sauce was simmering in my parents’ kitchen. Knowing we had to be back in time to get some work done and for J to have a meeting, there was no way we’d get to stay for dinner. And I was less than pleased about it.
So five minutes into our drive home, it dawned on me. I sent a text out to our friends. Sunday supper. I’ll cook, you bring the drinks. 7:30. You in?
And just like that… Sunday Supper at the Hodges house was born. And it was absolutely lovely. I already can’t wait til next week!
Oh. And that picture of my polish? Taken on day 4, the morning after scrubbing pots and pans. I mean it when I say that Sally Hansen Miracle Gel is the bees knees.
by Joey | May 11, 2015 | Throwback
To appease. The definition is very straight forward. Pacify or placate (someone) by acceding to their demands (via google).
We’ve all done it. Sometimes it’s just easier to give someone what they want than it is to deal with the backlash. Obviously, there are special circumstances surrounding these situations. Because we’re all strong individuals who stand for what is right. We’ve all got that no one can tell me what to do attitude. But when it all boils down, there are just those few special people we’d rather placate than deal with. Am I right?
And this strikes me as funny. On my next birthday (which is approaching alarmingly fast), I’ll be entering my last year of my twenties. And I just can’t help but ask myself when is enough enough? When does The Great Shift occur? When do we allow ourselves to bow out of those types of relationships without the guilt weighing heavy on our souls?
This type of relationship isn’t something I’m overly familiar with. It’s not something I grew up knowing, practicing. In fact, my new friend said something to the effect of not wanting to take advantage of my painting of her nails. And my reply? Do not ever worry about that! If I don’t want to, I’ll say no. I never do something I don’t want to do.
And that might be a lie. Obviously, we all have things we’d rather not do, but when it is all said and done at the end of the day, I am confident in the fact that I spend my time doing what I want to be doing. The definition of that word want varies, of course, but what I meant to say to my friend is I don’t placate people. Having phony relationships is exhausting and a waste.
So here I sit, asking myself that one very obvious question. How is it possible that I find myself in a situation where I appease someone? How do we get off this hamster wheel with everyone’s dignity still in tact? When is enough enough?
And the truth is, the fill line to enough was surpassed years ago. And I’m left scratching my head, wondering how exactly we got here. And how do we make it stop without causing the world to implode?
This whole adult thing, while it’s filled with amazingly wonderful things, has all these twists and turns I just wasn’t prepared to handle. And I find myself losing myself in the mess of it all. It turns me into a person I don’t like. Someone I’m not. And then I curse myself for allowing any situation to have that much effect on me.
But you know what, friends? We’re all human. And we all have a side to us we’re not proud of. We all have a mess hidden in a closet that comes tumbling out when you open the door. And at some point, we’ll all figure out the right way to sift through the mess. And until then, it might be best to keep that door shut.
Appease the mess.
