by Joey | Feb 13, 2017 | Advice
When my husband came home unexpectedly only shortly after leaving for work, I knew why before I even opened the door to find his eyes rimmed red. He’d lost his job. The job we relied on 100%. That job provided our house, our insurance, and our only source of income.
So, now what?
That was the loss. And if you read last week’s post, you know that change follows loss. But what I didn’t mention was that it doesn’t always come right away.
Sometimes, what’s harder than the change itself is the anticipation of the change.
The void was instant, the change was imminent. Uncertainty knocks the wind out of you. You’re a hamster on a wheel, desperate to find solutions, grasping at straws. You’re rushing for resolution. This is about the time when people tell you to be patient. Everything will work out. You’ll be fine. God has a plan.
I heard it all in those months of waiting out the unknown. The stress and panic and anxiety constantly gripping my throat.
I’ve uttered those same phrases to my Mom the last few months. You see, we lost my dad last year, and we just put her house (my childhood home) on the market. A change that followed loss that we anticipated all year.
It’s in the anticipation of change where you learn to let go and let God. Because anything else fuels the panic. You’ve done all you can do, and all that’s left is the waiting. The unfolding of a grander plan. It’s crippling. Paralyzing. Frustrating and terrifying.
But if you let it, it can also be a beautiful rejuvenation of the soul.
Let change breathe life back into you. A chapter closed means a new one can begin. Endings are hard, that I know for certain. Loss is excruciating. And change can feel like the enemy. But I believe in the beauty of chance. I believe in God’s timing and plan for your life, for my life. And while it’s hard to understand why in the moments of loss and pain and fear, I do believe loss and change to a be rescue mission. A saving grace stepping in to move you on, to pick you up after your fall and guide you onto your new path. A path you may have otherwise ignored or missed altogether.
Because the truth is, we don’t often welcome change into our lives. But change can really be the most beautiful gift of all.
All it takes a little of hope, a lot trust, a few deep breaths.
by Joey | Feb 10, 2017 | beauty, Loves
Remember way back when I used to post nail pictures every week? I’d share my at-home manicure tips and all was right with the world? Well, I’m bringing it back! This is me putting feelers out there: is there any interest in reviving the old Nail Files link up? Let me know!
Julep Lorraine
Color Club Harp on It
Small dotting tool
I used to really enjoy nail polish and painting my nails. I loved a fresh manicure, and nothing made me feel more put together. I’m not one to fuss with fancy clothes or shoes, but a good manicure made me feel good. It made me feel like me.
I stopped making time for it all once we got here to Charlotte. I started putting everyone else first and stopped making myself a priority. A simple pleasure: painting my nails, went right out the window.
The impressive collection of polishes would hang on the back of my office door, only really loved on when I was painting someone else’s nails.
I’ll always be the person who puts everyone else first. It’s just my nature. But if I’ve learned anything in my thirty years, it’s that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
How do you take care of yourself? Does a mani make you feel like you can take it all on? Tell me, would you link up with me if I brought the old linkup back? Let me know!
by Joey | Feb 9, 2017 | Real Life
In case you’re wondering how this week has been going…Jonathan and I spent 30 minutes cleaning up a shattered jar of pickles from the floor last night.
Anyway. Let me tell you about my placebo haircut. You might be wondering how does one get a placebo haircut? Well, they walk on down to the Aveda Institute on a whim one afternoon and ask for them to hack off a good 2 inches. That should have left me with something resembling the clavicut.
Just a few minutes into the painstakingly long hair cutting process (students can take a while I’ve come to learn), the girl confesses something. My professor tells me I’m just not a hair cutter. I’m much more into mixing colors. She then went on to tell me a story about how after every cutting assignment, her professor would come inspect her mannequin only to question where the hair was.
Apparently she never cut enough off. Or barely at all for that matter.
I did my best to squash my nervous feelings. I mean, I’d notice if she were messing up, right? She finished up, blew me dry, and I was in a rush to get out the door. I never expect that process to take 2 hours. It did, and I had work to finish up.
I got home, curled my hair quickly, then sent Myra a pic. I DID IT! I exclaimed! LOOK, I FINALLY HACKED OFF THOSE LAST TWO INCHES!
Myra didn’t comment much beyond a hesitant yay! I didn’t think much of it, and then I quickly transitioned into move-mode.
Well, as we sat in our meeting on Monday morning, I confessed to her that I’d worn my hair straight for the first time since the cut and that I’d had a thought…well…
I don’t think that girl actually cut anything off my length.
Myra immediately burst out laughing. Apparently she had the thought too but didn’t know how to tell me. I mean how does a person just think they got a haircut? I sure hope wherever that student ends up when she graduates in a week or so that she’s not asked to actually cut any hair.
For comparison, this is about where my hair was before the cut…
I know. I know. How do these things happen to me?
Happy Friday Eve, y’all.
by Joey | Feb 6, 2017 | Advice, Real Life
I do this thing that drives my husband insane. His first real experience with it was our Sophomore year of college. We’d made plans; he was supposed to come by my apartment for dinner. When he didn’t show up, I tried calling him…over and over. When an hour went by, and I couldn’t reach him, I drove over to his dorm. You see, he was an RA (Resident Assistant), so I was able to talk some kid in to letting my into the secured entrance by name dropping.
I reached his locked door and knocked. And knocked. And knocked. I knocked so hard and so long that my knuckles began to bleed. I could hear what I thought was water running in the background.
Oh, my God. He’s dead in the shower.
Panicked, I ran down to the Resident Director’s apartment and frantically knocked on his door. He opened it slightly, but just enough for me to catch a glimpse of my husband on his couch with a video game controller in his hand.
Why do you always assume I’m dead?
This would come to be a question he asked me time and time again through out our relationship.
But you see, tragic loss has followed me throughout my life. And loss is a catalyst for change, another great fear of mine. I’ve come to expect both always.
I’ve learned throughout the years and the losses that change is almost always scary but rarely bad. The initial explosion is catastrophic. It can take your breath away and flip your world upside down. But as the dust starts to settle, you hold on tight and brace for the aftermath. The change that follows. Because if I’m an expert on anything, it’s the fact that change always follows loss.
I’ve yet to experience a change that in the end wasn’t exactly what I needed in my life at the time. That’s the funny thing about change, sometimes we cope with it, sometimes we crave it, and sometimes we create it.
The change that follows loss rebuilds a person.
You’re suddenly left without someone or something you depend on. And in those moments, you have no choice but to depend on yourself and faith, if you have any. In a lot of ways it can be exciting. A plot twist within your own life leaves you staring into the darkness of the great unknown. It’ll be hard to see for a while, and if you let it the fear can consume you. But know the light is coming; you don’t have to live in the darkness forever. Change is the constant you can depend on when loss leaves you empty handed.
[ctt template=”4″ link=”05z_U” via=”yes” ]Change is the constant you can depend on when loss leaves you empty handed. @JoElizabeth[/ctt]
For me, the most important changes in my life have followed loss. Whether it was a person, a job, or a plan for my life, the absence of something or someone I depended on forced me to change. It forced me to open my mind, reach within to find strength, and face the challenge head on.
Because the thing about the change that follows loss is that it’s unavoidable. You have no choice but to accept and embrace it. You’re forced out of your comfort zone, and that’s where growth happens.
We’ll spend the month of February exploring all different kinds of change. I’d love to have you along for the journey! I want this to be a conversation, so share below if you have an experience with the change that follows loss.
by Joey | Feb 2, 2017 | Real Life
So you might have noticed that we’re back to Joey Hodges Writes around here. Blame my domain ADD, but I do have a few good reasons for the change. The only reason that carries any weight, though, is that at the end of the day, I’m a writer. And this writer intended to use this here domain as her portfolio.
But you know what makes a really good portfolio? A blog. So after spending an entire weekend working on my writing resume, I entered self-hosted wordpress hell and now we’re here.
Speaking of changes, I’m reporting in from my new living room. That’s right, we moved. I wish I could give you a good reason for that, too, but honestly? We were just ready. After living in the apartment for two years, I was itching for the quiet solidarity we had in Buies Creek. I know those of you who knew me back then probably just threw your heads back in laughter.
Weren’t you miserable in Buies Creek?
I was and I wasn’t. I was hugely productive there. My routine was built for balance. But after two years, the isolation was killing me. When we made the move back to Charlotte, I needed to be around people. The apartment was the right choice at that time. I made incredible friends there. Friends who I only live 20 minutes from now. Sure, it’s not a walk down the stairs, but it offers balance.
Balance.
January was all about happiness and how to maintain it throughout the year. February is going to be all about change. Cultivating it, coping with it, and craving it.
If you’re interested in all things life updates, be sure to follow me on snapchat. My username is johodgespodges, and I’ve been documenting as much as I can through this crazy journey. Also keep your eye on my youtube channel. Once we’re back up and running with internet, I’ve got some vlogs ready to go live!
