by Joey | Jan 2, 2017 | Advice
I’ve always really liked the idea of a new year. A fresh start. The chance to try again. I think New Years is like an important reminder to check in and evaluate. How did things go throughout your year? What could you do better? Did you finally find your groove with something? I like the idea of taking advantage of these check ins to find new ways to challenge myself.
It’s easy to fall into routine in your life. How often do you really take the time to lean inside yourself and ask am I happy? Is there anything I want to change?
While I totally believe in every day being a new opportunity to reinvent yourself, new years offers you a pre-made clean slate. A whole new set of 365 fresh days to do whatever you want with.
What will you do with them?
I said at the start of 2016 that it was going to be my year. After spending a few years making sure everyone else was taken care of and happy, I decided to focus on myself. Despite some heavy lows (like losing my dad), 2016 was packed full of exciting challenges, unexpected opportunities, and new adventures. I was tired of being unhappy, so I spent the entire year testing and changing, narrowing in on how exactly to find and hold on to happiness.
Happiness isn’t always packaged how you might think.
It’s often tucked inside painful challenges and unexpected twists. Letting go and learning how to accept those things was a big part of my 2016. But after spending the whole year chasing the ever elusive emotion, I’ve come to understand some things about how to fit happiness into my life.
Because the truth is, happiness is always available. It’s constantly flowing, ready for the taking. But we’re all usually so busy fitting everything else into our lives that we forget to leave room.
If you’re tired of constantly feeling overwhelmed, dissatisfied, and unhappy, I invite you to hang around this month. For the first time ever, I’ve decided to devote the entire month of January to a theme to encourage myself (and you!) to start your year off right.
So welcome to How to Be Happy January.
The always positive, encouraging, and sweet youtuber Nikki Phillippi has given me personal permission to share this wonderful theme of her’s with all of you. After starting every year with her positivity, I decided to stop being a spectator and start doing.
So once again, I’m starting the year off by saying this year is going to be my year, and I want you to do the same. Starting off with that statement will encourage you to make decisions daily to stay true to your plan. When you’re planning out your days, weeks, and months, keep that thought in mind and ask yourself if what you’re agreeing to aligns with your goal.
I’m a yes girl. I was a yes girl, always agreeing to everything even if it was the last thing I wanted to do. A people-pleasing way of life might seem noble, but in actuality it’s a sure fire way to fester resentment and unhappiness.
Politely declining is always acceptable. Staying true to yourself and your plans for the year are always allowed. You just have to make your happiness as big a priority as you make everyone else’s.
The best part of life? Every morning you have a new opportunity to become a happier version of yourself.
by Joey | Dec 29, 2016 | Real Life
Four years ago almost exactly I was browsing through blogland when I came across an announcement for a new linkup. If you’ve hung around blogland long enough, you know that there tends to be a grouping of specific bloggers that you get mixed in with. I don’t know how exactly it happens, but we basically create a community within ourselves despite niche and location. It’s one of my favorite parts of blogging.
This link up was being hosted by two bloggers I didn’t follow but who were a part of the community I would say I was in. I’d seen their blogs before randomly. I’d see blog friends of mine mention them in posts and tweets. I just hadn’t personally connected with either of them yet.
For whatever reason, I decided to plan out a post and link up. The link up was called The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. If only I would have known then that this particular link up would connect me with the very best friend I’ve ever had, who has seen me through the good, the bad, and the ugly.
The link up was short lived, like most things in blogland. Drama ensued between the hosts and some other girls who were apparently hosting a very similar type link up, which resulted in those girls emailing everyone who participated in TGBU link up with less than pleasant warnings.
I don’t do drama, especially in blogland, so I chose to just continue on as normal. When one of the hosts, Myra, reached out to me individually to thank me for my participation despite the drama, we started emailing back and forth casually.
I remember it was around Thanksgiving. We were both prepping a ton of food, hosting our own holidays that year. Then, her birthday was coming up. Now, if you know me in real life you know I’m terrible at birthdays, gifts, etc. But I just happened to remember her birthday while I was in Target one afternoon (typical), snatched up a card and gift card and tossed it in the mail. No big deal.
This was also around the time that Jonathan took the job at Campbell. He moved away, leaving me behind in Charlotte, and I was devastated. Myra and I weren’t best friends yet, but I remember her being a positive light in the darkness. Again, if only I’d have known.
In the last four years, this girl has become unmeasurably important to me. She virtually held my hand despite being across the world when I was battling illness in 2013. She cheered me on, pushing me to keep going when I wanted to quit the book. She supported me when I started running, coaching me through the whole process. She cried with me when I lost my dad but brought me joy despite the sadness by gifting me a niece on the day of my father’s funeral.
When I wanted more out of life, she pushed me to start Bliss Creative. She guided me, answered all of my annoying questions, and then shocking me most of all, she agreed to be my partner.
Myra and I have done a lot of life together in the last four years through a computer and phone screen. We’ve developed a friendship unlike any other. We’ve built a successful business. And we’ve blended our families despite having never met.
A few weeks ago, I got a message from Myra’s husband. They live in Amsterdam these days, but they were traveling to Houston to visit family for the holidays.
I think it’s about time you girls meet.
Without ever tipping our hand to Myra, Amir and I orchestrated the biggest surprise of her life. He booked my flight, I grabbed an Airbnb, and I’m actually typing up this post mid-flight. In just a couple hours, I will walk into a restaurant, tap my virtual best friend on the shoulder, and ask if I can join her for breakfast.
When I think about how huge the world is, I recognize the unlikelihood that our paths would have ever crossed without the internet, and that completely boggles my mind. One tiny, insignificant moment after another came together and built something bigger than either of us. And in just a few short hours, I get to hug the crap out of her.
It’s about damn time.
by Joey | Dec 20, 2016 | Real Life
Things are happening around here. Big things. And oddly enough, we just gently tapped them to see what would happen and suddenly things are in motion. Funny how that happens.
I confessed to you in my millennial money matters post that we’ve spent a sickening amount on rent over the last 6.5 years. And yes, while this is true, I must also point out to you that we were in no position to buy as of late.
My football coaching husband’s career had us picking up and moving to God only knows where every 18 months or so. Many times, I wouldn’t even have all the boxes unpacked before it was time to track down the packing tape again. Renting worked for us. Year long leases felt too long and constricting. Let me remind you of the great depression of 2012-13. I was financially tied to a house here in Charlotte, while my husband up and moved away.
The part time job I kept merely paid the rent. I resented waking up every morning to find my husband’s side of the bed empty. I cried on my commute to work every day. That’s what happens when your life plans change only 6 months into a 12 month lease. But luckily, leases end and depressions lift.
But we’re in our thirties now. Our 7th anniversary is in May. (How in the hell is that possible?) And we’re toeing the line of baby? Or no baby? Yes, that’s right my friends, we’re in our thirties and haven’t made up our minds on that one. And that’s okay. Don’t let life and social norms pressure you into a decision you’re not ready to make.
We quickly maxed out our potential in the apartment we’ve been so happy in. Everything felt bigger than us when we first got here. The rent, triple what we were paying in Buies Creek felt like a fun challenge and offered potential for a different kind of life. Apartment hunting felt like trying on different hats. And this one made us feel the most different. We wanted that.
And we got that.
But now, only two short years later, we’re ready to move on. That’s the thing with adulthood, these big changes often approach you without warning. When you’re young, doing life with training wheels, big changes are dressed up as school years and graduations and engagements. Each providing you with the cushion of expectations and time to prepare. Being an adult, I’ve come to realize, is made up primarily of expecting the unexpected and always preparing for what might come next.
The truth is, we’re not buying a house. This might help you understand that decision. But we are moving into a house. A house that will allow us to pay off debts, save to eventually buy a house, and stretch us into the next chapter of our lives. I didn’t see it coming. And I’m sad to leave our little corner of the city. But change has proven to never be a bad thing.
Ready or not. Here we go.
by Joey | Dec 15, 2016 | Real Life
Happy Thursday, pretty friends! I’ll admit, I totally forgot to write a blog post for this morning until I saw Kristin’s post go up. It’s been that kind of week.
Jonathan and I have started house hunting. I know. I know. We moved into this sweet little apartment almost two years ago desperate for city life and to be where the people are. (Yes, I channelled my inner Ariel when we were moving here. Life in Buies Creek will do that to a girl.) But alas, it’s time to move on.
So, if you’re in the Charlotte area looking for a great 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment in South End, hit a girl up. Or if you’re just nosy and want to see what our apartment looks like, go for it. Click that link!
We are so behind on Christmas. I had visions of festivities and cookie baking and gift shopping and well…we’ve done none of it. Aside from putting the tree up, Christmas is painfully devoid from this home. Pumping out a ton of work for Bliss, arranging for a sublet, and looking for a house sure is distracting. But we’re officially done with client work for the remainder of the year. So I think baking some xmas cookies will make it to my todo list today.
My little business has been bringing my heart so much joy. It’s put me in touch with some really awesome people and lead to some amazing opportunities. I drove out to Fort Mill last night to have a little meeting with Whitney (spoiler alert, we’re about to partner up on something huge)! As I sat at her kitchen table, laptops open, discussing business, I felt so happy and proud. We’re doing the damn thing, y’all. It’s scary and big and totally unknown half the time, but my goodness is it worth it.
by Joey | Dec 13, 2016 | Throwback
So my friend called me last week in a bit of a panic. Without really meaning to, she and her husband sold their house and bought a new one. I’d tell you the whole story about how someone randomly showed up on their doorstep putting in an offer on their house that wasn’t for sale, but that’s not why she was panicking.
We’re going to stay with my parents for a whole week while we get the new house sorted out.
I sat on the other end of the phone confused.
Huh? I asked. Why would you do that?
Oh, you know, she said, we don’t want to live amidst the boxes and chaos.
I chuckled then realized oh wait…not everyone moves every 1.5 years. For most normal people moving is hugely stressful. The Great Unknown. It’s ranked right on up there with divorce and death of a loved one as one of life’s great stressors. Lucky for this friend (and for you, dear blog readers), I’m a right old pro.
Jonathan and I have moved five times in the last 6.5 years. We’ve got this thing down to a science. Buckle up, friends. This is going to be a long one. Go ahead and bookmark it and pin it, you’ll want to hold on to it for when life throws a move your direction.
The Great Purge.
The first thing you should do when you find out that you’re moving is a great purge. Go through your belongings room by room. Sort everything into keep, toss, donate piles. This is a great time to pull out that book everyone lost their shit about a few years ago The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Or, if you’re like me, you can just decide in the moment whether it’s really worth lugging your old high school papers around with you from house to house. Moving as frequently as we do, you start to lose attachment to unimportant things. We are far cry from living simplistically, but we’re probably one move away from not having anything left.
Keep Rooms Together.
When we moved from Athens to Charlotte, I stupidly packed all like items together. Meaning: all the bedding from our guest room and master bedroom got packed together. All the pillows from every room went into the same box. Every book we owned got put in the same box despite the room it lived in. That meant that I had items from literally all over the house in random boxes. DON’T DO THAT!
INSTEAD: PACK ONE ROOM AT A TIME AND KEEP THAT ROOM TOGETHER. Don’t worry about what makes sense to pack together. It’s okay to put the books from your nightstand in the same box as your master bedroom TV remotes. Obviously, take proper precautions. Wrap your fragile belongings and pack smart (don’t overload boxes), but stop thinking that all your books from all over the house need to be packed together.
Over-label everything!
I’m the crazy person who basically writes a novel on each box. But hey, I’ve never suffered through a move without knowing exactly where my coffeepot or my underwear is. In HUGE BOLD LETTERS write which room the box belongs to. Think ahead: will every room translate exactly? For instance, we had a loft in our Charlotte house but we weren’t going to have a loft in the Buies Creek house we were moving to. So instead of LOFT, I labeled that box FRONT LIVING ROOM. I’ll explain this further in a few minutes.
Underneath the room label, jot down a list of the most important items in that box. If you know that you can’t go to sleep at night without Netflix on, make sure you label which box your TV remotes, Roku, and TV cables are in. I tend to have a “must have” box for each room. That lets me know all my crucial can’t-live-without items are inside and if I don’t accomplish anything else, that box needs to be unpacked.
Keep your clothes on the hangers.
Especially if your move is local, keeping your clothes on the hangers will make a huge difference in your unpacking process. To do this, wrap a large trash bag (the big black ones fit the most) around the base of the clothes while they’re hanging. Pull the drawstring tight over top the triangular part of the hanger and tie it. When you get to the new house, simply hang the bag full of clothes up and remove the bag! “Unpacked” in seconds!
Keep your stuff in the drawers.
So you all know that your furniture will be lighter and easier to move if you remove the drawers. It wasn’t until my third move that it dawned on me. Why pack up the contents of the drawers if I’m taking the drawers out to move the furniture anyway? Remove the drawers, move the furniture onto the truck, replace the drawers, tape them shut. When you get to the new house, remove the drawers, move the furniture into the desired room, replace the drawers. Boom. Unpacked.
There is no science to loading the truck. It’s a real life game of Tetris. Go with it.
Your type-A hyper organized brain is going to tell you that all those boxes from your bedroom need to go on the truck in order. Stop. Breathe. Let go. Your shit needs to get on that truck in whatever way it fits. I don’t participate in this process. We either enlist the help of our burly man friends, or we hire movers. Either way, your stuff will get on the truck on way or another. If your husband is telling you to back off and let them work, back off and let them work. If you WANT to participate, more power to you. Pack it on carefully and strategically. It WILL fit one way or another. Don’t get precious about it.
Unloading the truck: put each box &/or piece of furniture into the room it belongs immediately.
I know logically you’re thinking okay let’s just get this shit off the truck so we can return it. Those U-hauls aren’t cheap, I get it. But you’re just making more work for yourself and prolonging the process. If you’re carrying a box that says guest bedroom, bring the box to the guest bedroom. It takes just a few extra seconds, but it saves you time in the end. Trust me. As for the furniture, make quick but sound decisions. Have an idea how you want the furniture laid out ahead of time and put the furniture where it belongs. Instantly, that empty house will start to feel more like home.
Assemble & dress the beds as they come off the truck.
I learned this trick from professional movers. As your bed comes off the truck, stop what you’re doing. Grab the box that you carefully labeled “Master Bedding” because you’re so smart, and dress the bed as they’re assembling it. The first thing I ever do in a new house is make sure the master bed is made up. Whether I get to anything else at that point isn’t important…I have a bed to sleep in.
Assign roles: divide & conquer.
Chances are, you aren’t doing this move alone. My husband and his buddies (or the movers) are responsible for unloading the truck. While they handle that, I tackle the unpacking. This is where your labeling will come into play. Because the boxes will already be in the room where they live, and because you so carefully labeled them, you can unpack quicker. I make sure to handle the master bedroom (clothes, mostly), the master bathroom, and part of the kitchen if nothing else. In the kitchen, focus on your must have items first (coffee pot, silverware, plates and cups). For the record, your plates & cups will likely go straight into the dishwasher–so it’s wise to know where your dishwashing detergent is.
You’ll be surprised how quickly the house starts to feel like home with the master bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen mostly unpacked. With each box in the room it belongs, when you have a free second here or there, quickly unpack a box. Put out your picture frames and redress the bookshelves.
Okay. I’m sure I’m leaving some things out, but you definitely know more about packing smart now than you did before reading this post. That means I’ve done my job here. Happy packing, friends!
