by Joey | Jun 19, 2018 | Devotional Series
I spent some time at the end of last week going through my journal. I do this sometimes when I need to be reminded of the other seasons in my life, good and bad, to reconfirm the one belief I hold firm always: everything is temporary. Good or bad, the only constant is change. And when you’re in the midst of a storm, that belief is astoundingly comforting. And when you’re in a season of blessings, it’s a good reminder to savor it. To live in the moment.
While flipping through the pages, though, I found something I wasn’t looking for. Noticing it on one page, I flipped to the next, hoping I was wrong. Flip. Flip. Flip. Damnit.
Page after page, I found myself literally begging God for things. Desperate for him to hear my cries. If you just do this, I… promises being made left and right. At first my heart sank, remembering those moments so clearly, experiencing that pain all over again. But then, I flipped the page only to find that God delivered. He answered my prayers often and with urgency. And yet, instead of seeing an ounce of gratitude on the page, all I found was more begging.
The blessing kept getting completely overlooked. I’m not even sure I was internally checking off any boxes, tick–okay–handled, thanks— before moving on to the next dumpster fire I was begging for Him to put out. I literally couldn’t see the blessings, the answers, and they were right in front of my face.
One answer after another left completely unnoticed. Un. Grate. Ful. Looking at those pages now makes my stomach turn. But just as I was hoping, they’ve helped me in this current season of my life. Those pages helped me find understanding as I tried to make sense of what I’ll from-here-on-out be referring to as The Great Breakdown of 2017. They serve as an important, albeit painful, lesson in what went wrong.
Lead with an ungrateful heart, and God will stop you dead in your tracks.
Disaster after disaster, desperation kept piling up, and after a while, I suffocated. Once again, I begged and He delivered. Because He is a good and gracious Father. And like any parent, no matter how many times his kid screws up, gets it wrong, misses the point, he reaches out his hand and rescues, certain that in time they’ll learn.
The truth is, God only wants what’s best for us. But He will allow us to make mistakes. He will walk with us even when we’ve turned onto the wrong path and deliver when we ask for favors along the way. But that path, wrong or not, is on purpose. It is meant to teach you something. I took God’s blessings along the way as signs I was making the right choices. And at that moment, in that season, that was the truth. Because that path was an important part of the greater purpose.
Without all of those pages filled with desperate pleas and proof of answers upon answers, I can’t be certain I would have learned this lesson. The Bible teaches us how to properly ask God for things. And you know what it says? Present your requests to God with thanksgiving. ::insert facepalm emoji:: The truth is, God can and will still deliver if we ask without a heart full of gratitude (I’m walking proof of that), but those blessings won’t last.
by Joey | Jun 18, 2018 | Advice, Creative Entrepreneur
I met up with a friend for coffee a couple of weeks ago. She’d texted me the night before and asked if I’d be up for it, and I said yes before thinking through the logistics. Jonathan and I are sharing a car right now. We have been for the last several months. And usually, it’s not a big inconvenience because I work 100% from home. But lately, I’ve been using it as an excuse. Introverted to my core, it’s really easy for me to curl in on myself. Give me a reason to stay home, and I’ll take it every. single. time.
It took some strategy, but I dropped J off then listened to a podcast as I headed across town. These are all very normal things but things I hadn’t done in a long time. Something I didn’t mention is that as I was driving Jonathan to work, we narrowly avoided a horrific accident. As I was entering an intersection, a car doing at least 60 blew through the red light. I happened to see them out of the corner of my eye and screeched to a stop just in time, my heart in my throat.
The experience rattled me. So when I walked into the coffee shop and my friend stood to greet me in a hug, my eyes filled with tears. I don’t know what it is about that look of compassion, but it’ll force a release from me every time. So, I sat across from my friend and chatted candidly, feelings and fears dislodged in the shake-up bubbling to the surface.
I’d been feeling kind of stuck, like I was spinning my wheels. Ideas are never in short supply around here which is usually a blessing. But sometimes I can get a little stunted, unsure which direction to run in. And as I sat with my friend, I finally confessed these things out loud, feeling the weight lifting from my shoulders.
I literally provide coaching for creatives on how to accomplish their goals. I know how to funnel passion into productivity. And yet, I was having trouble doing just that. What is it they say about the cobbler’s children? They go without shoes? Chatting with my friend forced me to give life to the things I’d been avoiding. And it allowed for me to identify where I was struggling.
Getting stuck happens to all of us. And sometimes more often than we’d like to admit. But there are a few sure-fire ways to help you push through the inertia.
Do some reflecting
The stuck feeling is usually attached to some kind of limiting belief. Whether that manifests as fear or a simple belief that you’re not _____ enough for something. (You can fill in that blank with just about anything: good, smart, talented, worth, the list goes on.) We tend to avoid these uncomfortable feelings. But in doing so, we actually end up giving them more energy than if we were to just face them head-on. So while it might feel a little unnatural, run an internal analysis and determine the cause(s) of the issue.
Get specific
Usually, a general feeling of “stuck” actually boils down to something very specific.
Maybe you’re feeling scared to do something because you’re worried about what everyone will think. When in reality, you’re probably just concerned with what very few or even just one person might think.
Or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything on your to-do list because you don’t know where to start. Get specific about your first step. That’s right, just one step. Narrow in on one place to start.
Get clear
Sometimes we can feel stuck because there are just too many ideas floating around in our heads. That’s what was happening to me. I had all these different things I wanted to do, all these ideas to turn into a reality, and it all felt like too much. But when I sat down and got clear about all the things, I started to feel a lot better.
My favorite way to get clear is to write everything down. (I mean, you kind of saw that coming, didn’t you? I am a writer after all…) Do a free write starting each sentence with “I want…” or simply list everything out. When I did this, it helped me eliminate that overwhelming feeling of “too much.”
This exercise also allowed me to get a pulse on each thing. Once I had my list, I spent some time considering how I felt about each idea. Was I excited about it? Did I feel some kind of external pressure to do that one particular thing? Which items would bring me the most joy?
This allowed for me to make some strategic decisions about what gets my immediate attention, which ideas were more long-term projects, and which ones I could eliminate altogether.
Switch things up
Narrow in on your first steps. Maybe that looks like muting or unfollowing the people on social media who make you feel less-than. Or maybe you need to prioritize your projects and break each one down into realistic tasks. Maybe you need to introduce a new habit into your day that makes you feel empowered. Whatever it is, it starts with doing.
That stuck feeling will only continue to fester (ew, what a word, right?) in a state of inactivity. But you can obliterate it by doing. Pick a direction and start running! Often times, just getting started helps you gain clarity.
I’ve been feeling far less stuck lately, and I hope these tips can help you feel the same. So, tell me in the comments below what has you feeling stuck lately? I reply to every comment via email, and would love to chat with you!
by Joey | Jun 15, 2018 | In the kitchen
Let me first start this post with a disclaimer. I am not a chef. I am hardly a “cook.” If you don’t believe me, ask my husband about our first year of marriage. I served everything Teriyaki with a side of Velveeta mac & cheese. The kitchen was a battleground, and I lost daily. But over the last eight years (yikes…), I’ve developed some kitchen habits that have helped me stay organized, save money, and serve delicious food without having to be a chef.
Kitchen Hacks: How to stay on budget, save time, and still eat delicious food.
Create a master list.
You know I’m going to tell you to start meal planning–that’s inevitably where this post is going. You know it, and I know it. So before you get mad and click out, understand that I’m going to make things a whole lot easier for you. The meal planning game changed for me when I created a master list of meals. Every family has a master list, whether they realize it or not. Think about your normal meal rotation–you likely have at least five or six meals you repeat often.
Well, I decided to take things to another level back when we lived in Buies Creek. I had more time, so I started being a little more adventurous in the kitchen. And by adventurous, I just mean I started actually making some of the meals I’d pinned on Pinterest. Every time I made something new, the hubs and I would decide whether it was an “add to the rotation” kind of meal. Eventually, we introduced quite a few meals to the master list.
A meal-in-rotation can be as simple as grilled chicken and roasted veggies or it can be as complex as beef wellington. (By the way, if you’re serving beef wellington in rotation, let me make sure you have my number because I want to be invited over, okay?) All I’m saying here is you don’t have to get super fancy with things. Having a hard time thinking about some meals? Call your mom (or dad, it is 2018) and ask what they used to serve regularly when you were a kid and snag those recipes.
Meal plan.
Yup. You knew I was going to tell you to do this. And I know, meal planning used to make me groan, too. There was some kind of voodoo magic happening anytime I sat down to plan out meals: I wouldn’t be able to remember a single meal I’d ever cooked ever. This is where your master list comes in to play.
Meal planning gets a whole lot easier when you’re not having to employ too much creativity. I typically plan out 14 dinners at a time. (I know I’m insane–maybe start with just one week, okay? I simply do two because I like to do all my grocery shopping for one pay period at a time.)
When I’m meal planning, I typically pull 8-10 master list meals (like I said, it’s gotten pretty long at this point), then I commit to trying 4-6 new recipes either from cookbooks, friend recommendations, or Pinterest.
Meal planning takes the decision out of the moment. Don’t just make a list of meals you’re going to make over the course of the next week or so, actually schedule them thoughtfully. Consider what you have going on each day and plan the meal accordingly. Don’t put a labor-intensive meal on a day you’re running around like crazy. Scheduling them out makes it so much easier to actually follow through.
Have designated days.
Meal planning, even with a master list, can get exhausting. My husband could eat the same thing all day every day and be just fine. I, on the other hand, don’t care much for repetition. That being said, I have some designated days that help when it comes to meal planning.
- Monday: always tacos of some sort
- Two Fridays: always homemade pizza
- The Other Two Fridays: always reserved for eating out
- Saturday (in this season of life anyway*): imitation Moe’s (salad for J, burrito bowl for me)
Jonathan works an 11 hour day on Saturdays, so I always bring him dinner.
Create your grocery list based on your meal plan.
I know this isn’t rocket science, but it really makes an enormous difference when it comes to your grocery bill. Buying only what you need instead of a hodgepodge of random items in hopes of having what you’ll need for dinner is a game changer.
Prep your staples.
In an attempt to avoid the urge to run out for fast food when I’m teetering the verge of hangry, I have some staples always ready to go. For us, that’s:
- A batch of grilled chicken
- Roasted veggies (California medley + roasted brussels sprouts)
These staples save us when I didn’t find the time to make dinner or I simply don’t feel like it. We can easily throw the chicken into a quesadilla, a salad, a sandwich, a pasta dish, or just eat it as it is with a side of veggies. I tend to cook these on Saturdays or Sundays for the week.
Honestly, just getting a little organized when it comes to the kitchen makes a huge difference. Employing these habits have really helped us save money, and I actually really enjoy cooking now. And on the nights I don’t? Well, that’s what the staples are for. 🙃
Tell me, what are some things you do to make your meal-planning life easier? What’s one of your go-to dishes?
by Joey | Jun 14, 2018 | Creative Entrepreneur, How I Work Series
Hey there! My name is Kat Boogaard, and I’ve been a full-time freelance writer for nearly the past four years (don’t even ask me where that time went…).
Like any writer, I’m capable of researching and writing about nearly anything—seriously, I once wrote an entire article all about how fish finders work. But, for the past couple of years, I’ve really found my niche in career advice and other content related to productivity, entrepreneurship, and self-development. At this point, I focus on that almost exclusively.
I’m a Staff Writer and Editor for the popular career platform, The Muse, as well as a contributor all over the web. You may have seen me places like Trello, Toggl, Wrike, The Everygirl, and more. I’m fortunate that my work has also been picked up by a variety of respected publications, including Forbes, Fast Company, TIME, Inc., Business Insider, Mashable, and more.
Whew. How was that for a not-so-humble brag?
I love writing for a living. But, when I’m not cranking out content for my clients, my passion project is helping other freelancers launch and grow their own businesses—whether it’s a side hustle or something they’re planning to leap into full-time.
From how to pitch publications to how to tackle the groan-worthy task of tracking your income and expenses, I author blog posts and create resources on my website (which is, admittedly, currently undergoing a major overhaul). I also have a newsletter and a Facebook community where creative freelancers can get insider insights and connect with one another about the trials and tribulations of the freelance life (come join if you’re a creative freelancer yourself!).
Needless to say, I love to stay busy. Fortunately, over the years, I’ve managed to refine some routines and habits that work well for me—and somehow keep me from tearing my hair out. I’m super excited to share all of that with you today!
How I Work
I know the increased flexibility is one of the greatest perks involved with freelancing. That fact makes me almost embarrassed to admit this: I tend to stick with a pretty consistent schedule every day of the workweek.
Most of the time, you can find me parked at my desk in my home office (with one or both of my rescue pups parked at my feet). While I do tend to head out to coffee shops for some focused work every now and then, I usually prefer to be at my own desk. It means I can work on my larger desktop computer (as opposed to my laptop) while also staying home with my clingy puppers.
I aim to start my workday by 8AM, and I usually ease into things by checking and responding to emails and tying up any other random loose ends. Between 9 and 11AM are some of my “golden hours” (to use a productivity cliché), so that’s a time when I like to focus in on actual writing—as opposed to more administrative work.
When I’ve wrapped up what I’m working on, I’ll return a few more emails (sigh, gotta love it) and then break for lunch around 11:30AM. I’ll take my pups outside for a bit and then watch a show (it’s usually reruns of Gilmore Girls or Grey’s Anatomy) while I dig into my lunch.
After that, I’m back to work until about 3:30PM, at which point I’ll get changed into my workout attire and head to the gym to meet my friend (and workout buddy). I try to make it there about three or four times a week. Since that involves “borrowing” some time from my workday, I typically work from about 6:30PM to 8 or 9PM—a bad habit I’ve been trying to break for years.
In terms of what sort of things I do during a standard workday? You can find me doing any combination of the following:
- Checking and responding to emails (so. many. emails.)
- Doing research for articles that I’m writing
- Scheduling interviews with sources
- Pulling stock photos
- Attending meetings or instant messaging with editors and other team members
- Writing, writing, and more writing
When it comes to staying organized, I’m a traditional pen and paper kind of gal. I have a paper planner that I live and die by, as well as a notebook that I use to jot down my daily to-do lists. I’ll add things to that list throughout the day as they arrive in my inbox or pop into my brain. I’ve learned from experience that if something isn’t written down, it probably isn’t getting done.
I do have some clients who prefer that I work inside their own project management systems—like Wrike, Trello, or Asana—and, I do enjoy those (I even use Trello for some personal projects). But, when in doubt, you’ll probably find me with pen and paper in hand.
I’m fortunate that I also work as a part of some pretty great teams. So, I do spend some time each day connecting with various colleagues all over the globe. In most cases, we use Slack to do that.
Habits & Routines
Unfortunately, I’ve never been a morning person (I so, so wish I was!). I set my alarm for 6:45AM with the purest of intentions. But, after letting out a few choice words and then turning it off, I typically start my morning pretty slowly in bed. Despite the fact that I advise people not to do this very thing, I spend a half hour or so scrolling through social media and checking my emails before eventually rolling out from under the covers, grabbing some breakfast, and getting my day started.
One habit I’m desperately trying to implement is to get myself cleaned up and dressed each morning before sitting down at my desk. For years, I’ve headed straight into “work mode” while I’m still in my pajamas. However, I’ve noticed that when I take a little bit of time to get myself freshened up and changed, I’m far more productive.
I’d also love to train myself to take advantage of my level of flexibility a little more. I do that to a certain extent by heading to the gym in the afternoon and taking things a little easier on Thursdays and Fridays. But, I’m hoping to become even a little less rigid with my schedule and maybe even head out to the grocery store or Target on a random Tuesday morning—gasp! That’s just one less thing I’d have to do on the weekend.
As I mentioned, Thursdays and Fridays are a little lighter for me. I try to get the bulk of my really heavy work done Monday through Wednesday so I can coast a little more at the end of the week. Every Thursday, I head to my parents’ house (they live about 45 minutes from me). I love to grab lunch and dinner with them. And, when the weather is nice, my dad and I will even squeeze in a quick round of golf.
I tend to reserve Fridays for tying up loose ends from the workweek, doing some laundry (again, so I don’t have to do it over the weekend!), and working on any personal projects—such as blog posts, new digital downloads, etc.
Life Balance
About a year or so ago, I came to the realization that I was teetering on the edge of burnout. I was working late every single evening, as well as the entirety of my weekend—and, eventually, it got to the point where I resented what I was doing.
At that point, I knew I needed to make a change. So, I really prioritized my own work-life balance (hence why it’s now non-negotiable for me to head to the gym a few times each week).
When I get home from the gym, my husband, Ty, and I will usually take our dogs on a long walk and then cook and eat dinner together. I’ll head back to my office for an hour or two after we’ve done the dishes, but I try my best to be unplugged from work by 9PM at the latest each night.
We’ll usually unwind by watching an hour or so of t.v. (right now, we’re really into season two of The Handmaid’s Tale, Jessica Jones, and are planning on starting Evil Genius soon!) before heading to bed and then starting all over the next day.
I’ve made a switch to reserve the majority of my weekend as work-free time. So, we’ll fill that with fun things like dinner and drinks with friends, comedy shows, and hikes with the dogs—as well as plenty of DIY projects around the house.
I won’t even try to pretend that I’m the master of work-life balance. But, it’s an area where I’ve seen myself make some pretty major strides over the past year or so—and I’m proud of that. Progress over perfection.
I feel so fortunate to be one of the lucky few who genuinely loves my work. Being a freelancer certainly comes with its fair share of challenges, but it’s so rewarding and—at this point—I really can’t picture myself doing anything else.
Thanks so much for letting me give you a little glimpse into how I work. If you feel like getting in touch or keeping up with what I have going on? I’m most active on Instagram (prepare for an abundance of dog photos) and Twitter. I’d love to hang out with you there. Come say hello!
by Joey | Jun 12, 2018 | Devotional Series
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, constant in prayer.
Romans 12:12
Be joyful in hope. That phrase has been on a loop in my head since 2015. Daily, I hear it. Sometimes it feels like a comforting reminder, others like a cruel taunt. Joyful in hope. What does that even mean? They’re nice words to say, sure. But how on earth do I even do that, really? Be joyful in hope? I guess first I have to understand what it means.
Joyful. Joyfulness: A condition of supreme well-being and good spirits. Hope. A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.
Well, that’s the epitome of prayer, isn’t it? Faith and trust that God will provide what it is that we so desire deep down? I heard someone say once that we’re supposed to pray like an expectant mother waiting for her baby. It’s already been planted, and now we wait. It will come in due time. Be patient.
Jonathan and I went to Charleston this past February. Our first real vacation since the summer of 2016. We planned it at the end of December, and each day I’d sit at my desk and dream happily about walking down King Street, the sun beating down on my shoulders. I could see it. I could feel it. And it brought me joy. I knew the day was coming. Soon, we’d pack up our belongings, put them in the trunk of the car, and drive the 3 hours South. And in the meantime, I could be joyful in that expectation. It was coming.
Hope. Expectation. It’s hard to have hope and be doubtful at the same time. Or rather, it’s hard to be doubtful and have hope at the same time. Raise your hand if you’ve been living in a state of doubt lately? I know I have been. I’ve been doubting all over the place, and then I wonder why I feel like a disappointment. To myself. To the people who believe in me. And worst of all, to God. A disappointment. Doubt is a cancer. It seems deep into your soul and destroys your life from the inside out.
The cure? Joyfulness and hope. Joyfulness is different than happiness. Joyful is a condition, a state of your heart, a perspective and outlook. Happiness is temporary. Fleeting. An emotion. You can have Joyfulness without happiness.
I have a funny story about how I came across that piece of scripture. It’s an important piece of scripture to me. In fact, I’d go so far to say it’s my scripture. It hangs over the bed in our master bedroom; the words bleeding into my heart every single day.
You all know the story of when football made a dramatic exit from our lives at the end of 2014. I’ve told you before that inexplicably, I turned to God, knowing I couldn’t face what was coming on my own. I say inexplicably because I did not have a solid relationship with Christ at that time. I was a sometimes Sunday Christian at best. Well, in an attempt to seek comfort, I turned to the internet, searching for scripture to ease the fear in my heart. This piece of scripture was the first result, and it immediately spoke right to my heart, lifting the weight of the fear and clearing the fog of the anxiety. And then I saw it, Romans 12:12. Of course, I laughed to myself.
You see, my family has a special connection to the number 12. My grandfather died on the 12th of December, long before I was born. And I realize it’s a weird thing we do, but we hold that number sacred, finding extra blessings in all things twelve. Twelves pop up in all meaningful things, like a gentle little wink from above.
So it’s only fitting that the scripture that runs through my veins daily, commanding me to be joyful in hope would reveal a 12. Because of course it does. And that, my friends, is hope.
