The Coach.

by Joey | Oct 27, 2013 | Throwback

Saturdays are a big deal in this house.  They probably always will be.  Well, unless Sunday becomes a big deal–but please, for the sake of my sanity, let’s keep it at Saturday for a while.

Saturday is Game Day.  Show Time.  The Big Hurrah.  The men work all week long for those 60 minutes.  I never knew much about football.  I’ve never kept that a secret.  I’m the football wife who is learning as she goes.  But the greatest learning curve for me has been letting go of my husband.

The first year we were a football family was hard.  I mean hard.  I’ve never been given any reason to doubt J.  He’s never been anything to me but 100% honest and trustworthy.  But I just could’t wrap my head around why he wasn’t home at 2AM.  I’d panic.  Assume there was someone else.  Convince myself he was up to no good.  I mean, no one works until 2AM.  Football coaches game plan and have practice.  The end.  So I got my hands on the practice schedule.  And I’d foolishly expect him to walk in the door an hour after practice.  And when he wouldn’t, my heart would race.

I didn’t understand.

I couldn’t understand.

Because I didn’t understand football.

This is our third year as a football family.  I’ve learned a thing or two about the actual game.  I can actively watch and have a general idea of what’s happening.  But what I’ve learned is, in all honesty, it has very little to do with the 60 minutes of playing time and much more to do with growing.  They aren’t just coaching these guys how to carry a ball (although, we could stand to get a little better at that), they’re teaching them how to carry themselves.

It’s easy to forget sometimes.  This week I wasn’t a football wife.  I was a football wife.  I saw him for one evening.  The only meal we’ll eat together this week is the one we wives will work hard on to feed the coaches tonight.  But I can’t be angry.  I can’t feel resentful even if I want to.  Because my husband worked until 2AM last night and was back in the office this morning by 9AM.  It’s Sunday.  And he believes in it.  I could learn a thing or two from football.  And from the coaches.  It’s easy to curl in when life doesn’t go your way.  It’s easy to feel like giving up when it’s one loss after another.  And instead they stay.  They fight.  They work hard day after day striving to find the way that works best for them to bring everyone to victory.

And then it just hit me.

It’s not about the game at all.

On Being Quiet.

by Joey | Oct 17, 2013 | Throwback

I am, without a doubt, always the loudest person in the room.  I talk the loudest.  I laugh the loudest.  Hell, I even clap the loudest.  I can’t help it.  In the past, I’ve tried to quiet myself.  I’ve tried to pay attention to the decibel of my voice.  Trust me, I never want to be that loud.  Who wants to be the loud, obnoxious girl?

And then life happens, and it quiets you a little bit.  My voice is still just as loud, but it’s not used as much these days.  I don’t think I have less to say–I just think I’m spending more time inside my head.  When you’re young, the big things are usually things that are worth discussing.  You need and want your friends advice.  But as you grow up, suddenly the big things are really more an internal struggle.  For me, right now, it’s a little bit of an internal struggle paired with trying to process everything over the last couple months.

When I’m loud, people tell me to be quiet.

When I’m quiet, people ask me what’s wrong.

I knew going into this year that it was going to be a hard one.  My husband was living away from me.  I was moving away from the town I wanted to stay in forever.  I was moving away from one of the best friends I’ve ever known (who later in the year moved clear across the country).  Plus, odd numbered years are usually just not my best years.  Silly thing to say, but it’s true.  My guard was up.  I told 2013 to bring it.

And bring it, it did.  As the year has progressed, I found myself in the middle of a year long struggle with who I’m supposed to be to certain people.  I found myself losing my footing in relationships I used to navigate with my eyes closed.  My health deteriorated.  These things keep me inside my head these days.  I’ve been quiet.  I know this.  There is no instruction manual for any of this.  The best I can do is try to find peace in all of it.  I’m trying to learn as I walk through it all.  I’m trying to stay positive.

Life isn’t kind sometimes.  Bad things happen to good people–and good things happen to bad people.  I have been left in a bit of a tail spin.  But the sky is still blue.  And chocolate chip cookies still taste good.  And at the end of the day, a man walks through the back door who hugs me.  

I’ve been quiet, but my voice is not lost.  Everything isn’t right.  And nothing is wrong.

I’m loving…

by Joey | Oct 9, 2013 | Throwback

I haven’t done a monthly favorites video or even post in quite a while.  And while I don’t have a ton of things to share, there are a few here that I’ve fallen in love with and wanted to let you in on!  

Mary Kay Mineral Powder (beige 0.5)  

Shh.  I still love Bare Minerals, but lately my skin has been pretty good and I’ve been craving that no makeup look.  I still need a little help just to even everything out, and that’s what this does.  It’s a beautiful finish and doesn’t look gross on my oily skin at the end of the day.  My friend Abby uses this and encouraged me to try hers while she was in town.  And then she left it for me because she rocks my face off.  Bare Minerals is still my number one favorite foundation, but I just don’t need that much coverage from day to day–but that’s a great option for fancier affairs.  I cannot feel the Mary Kay powder on my face which I absolutely love.  I’m the kind of person that the second my outings are done, I want to immediately wash products off my face.  I didn’t feel that way with this.  (retail: $18)

Aveeno Clear Complexion Foaming Cleanser

I decided to pick this up and give it a whirl when I switched back to non-waterproof mascara (my all time favorite mascara, by the way, is the maybelline Full & Soft non-waterproof).  With waterproof mascara, I had to use coconut oil (or any other water proof make up remover).  But I wanted something to help combat my breakouts, leave my skin feeling clean and fresh AND remove all my make up.  And this does the trick!  It’s very gentle but effective.  I still use my Clinique Acne Solutions 3 step system in the morning, and the results I get partnered with this at night are great!  My skin just looks better over all.  It says very clearly on the front of the bottle: for clear even-looking skin, and that’s what I get. (retail: $6.99)

Twist Bands (or, you know, the cheap off brand)

I don’t know if y’all have noticed, but my hair is suddenly crazy long.  At least crazy long for me.  I love it.  I try not to wash my hair more than I have to, but I was noticing that my hair was just a hot mess when I’d wake up–and even if it didn’t look all funky–it was much more oily than usual.  I toss and turn a lot at night (even more now that I get to wake up in excruciating pain every so often…yay!)  And I got to thinking…maybe that’s the same thing as running my hands through my hair too much?  Was that causing my scalp to produce more oil?  So I tied my hair back in a loose, low pony with one of these suckers and WHOA.  I can go 3 even 4 days without washing my hair again(with the help of Batiste, of course).  I don’t like the idea of sleeping with my hair tied back for fear of breakage (or that nasty little crease), but these prevent both.  And I’m a fan. (retail: $2.49)

disclaimer: all products with the exception of the Mary Kay powder which was gifted by a friend were purchased by me.  All opinions are my own.

Engaged Encounter.

by Joey | Oct 8, 2013 | Throwback

In the recent months, I’m seeing a lot of engagement announcements.  It warms my heart.  I just love love.  But I’m also seeing a lot of blog posts, tweets, etc about how stressed they are.  How impossible everything seems.  How much everything is costing.  How pinterest is messing with their minds.

I am no expert.  And I am certainly anything but perfect.  But the time of my engagement (1 year and 20 days) was anything but blissful.  I was having a very very hard time appeasing everyone.   I had opinions coming at me left and right.  I waited 6.5 (very hard) years for a proposal, and I was expecting rainbows and butterflies.   But it didn’t matter how I did things.  It didn’t matter which approach I took, it was wrong.  And it left me very discouraged and completely apathetic to the entire wedding process.  While J and I were certainly coming from a place of love–and our ultimate goal was to have a beautiful marriage not wedding, there were a few things that we ran into in that one year and twenty days that opened my eyes.

So here are my little snippets of advice.

• Your wedding isn’t about anyone but you and your partner.  Yes, you are joining together two families, which is unbelievably important, but it is not the most important element.  Your marriage is.
• Spend an equal amount of time preparing for your marriage as you are for your wedding.  I get that dress shopping and menu tasting might be more fun than pre-marital counseling, but it is not nearly as important.
• You are not going to make everyone happy.  And if you spend your entire engagement trying to make anyone but you and your partner happy–I assure you your wedding day will not be as blissful as you are hoping.
• Invite only the people who will spend the remainder of your life supporting and encouraging your marriage.  Life throws enough at you to try and separate you–you do not need to invite people into your marriage who will try to do that as well.
• I understand the pressure to have an expensive, fancy wedding.  And that’s fine if it’s what you can afford.  But I promise you–if you’re inviting only the people who want to love and support you–they won’t care if it’s finger sandwiches and apple juice.  You’ll be glad when you’re knee deep in the first year of marriage that you didn’t go into insane debt for a party.
• If your hair isn’t perfect.  If the flowers didn’t get delivered.  If the cake falls over.  If your MOH passes out in the middle of the ceremony.  Guess what?  At the end of the day, you’re still married.  And isn’t that the entire point?  And now you just have a story to tell.  Enjoy it.