by Joey | Aug 18, 2014 | Writing
It was fall of 2009. I was miserable working for a temp agency inputting data for an international distributor of electric components in a DOS system. Yeah, it was as exciting as it sounds. That was job number 6 after only graduating a year and a half before.
To say I was flopping around would be an epic understatement.
I knew when I picked my major (English with a concentration in Creative Writing) that there wouldn’t be one specific job for me after college. I just wanted to write! It sounded so easy! One of my wildly successful writing professors actually encouraged us to go out into the real world and work odd jobs vs. getting an MFA. Little did I know at the time that I would take his advice quite literally.
The temp job was easy enough once I figured out the system and the shortcuts. But I was losing my mind. I remember one day I had a project that took me away from the computer into this one back room where I was packing orders. I put in my earphones and had to consistently wipe away tears as I packed box after box. Was that really all there was? Working some job I hated for the rest of my life? Whether it was that specific one or whatever the next odd job that would follow, the idea terrified me.
Suddenly the world felt so big and I felt so, so small. Like whatever I wanted didn’t actually matter. I felt like I’d wasted my time in college and cursed myself for not picking a more specific major like education (which I really didn’t want to do) or nursing (I suck at science).
All of my friends were finding their grooves. They were getting fancy offices and raises. They were becoming Real Adults and I was driving 45 minutes to a job that would end in a few months only to start the search all over again.
I missed writing. And I
worried that once we got ourselves on a path, whether it was one we meant to get on or not, that we had to stay there. I didn’t really know where to start–but I knew something needed to change.
NANOWRIMO (National Writing Month: November) was fast approaching as was the end of my job assignment. I knew I wasn’t going to write a novel in a month, but I took the excitement buzzing around the writing world and focused it in on one specific goal: write a book.
But where the heck do I even start? Stay tuned!
And keeping with the idea that posts with photos are more fun: here’s where it all went down. My little “apartment” in my parents’ attic!
SaveSave
SaveSave
SaveSave
by Joey | Aug 16, 2014 | Throwback
Some of these came out pretty blurry. I’d say I’m sorry, but you all know I’m not a fashion blogger 😉
(ah, this is more like it. haha)
I will say this, I am not an online shopper. I’m just not. I worry so much that nothing will fit right if I order it online. Enter: eshakti. You can customize your dress to fit you how you like! That’s like music to this short girl’s ears!
The original version of this dress came down just below the knee, and while it was pretty–I knew it’d make me look like an oompa loompa (hashtag: short girl probs). So when I went to order the dress anyway (heavy sighing), I realized I could pick where I wanted the hem to be. Hallelujah!
The site was super easy to use, and they are on it with the shipping. I got the dress in record time!
Be sure to pop over to their site. They’re almost always running some awesome deals!
by Joey | Aug 15, 2014 | Throwback
Orly: Saturated; Nina Ultra Pro: Starbright; Disney chunky pink glitter
It’s been a weird week with what seems like a lot of sadness all over the place. My moment this week is quiet and simple, but I sat myself outside for a few hours with some music, some snacks and my thoughts. It was the first real brainstorm session for the next book, and it felt awesome.
I went to the eye doctor this week. It was a new office for me, so I was prepared for the standard questions. Being someone familiar with this routine, I was armed with my usual answers. When they asked if I exercise, I was ready to deliver my normal
ha, yeah, no then caught myself. Oh. Yeah, I guess I do. And then came the inevitable
so what do you do question. For the first time since we’ve lived here, I answered proudly and with validation.
I am a writer. (Didn’t know that? Get my
book here!
::J and I were watching TV::
Me: Wait! Was that the Mona Lisa?
J: No, I think that was a man.
Me: Oh, I guess I really do need new glasses.
Bahahaha. But I mean…I am a very difficult lady to love.
Forget just turning it off, I have to PUT IT AWAY! Bailey doesn’t play games.
Happy Friday, loves! Still a sitting duck over here anxiously patiently waiting for a phone call that’ll take me to SC! No pressure, little Soph. You keep cookin’ for a few more days, kay?
by Joey | Aug 14, 2014 | Throwback
++ The other night we settled into bed. J fell asleep pretty quickly and I had my earplugs in so I couldn’t hear much of anything. Suddenly, I hear the low vibration of J’s voice and I yank out my earplug. He said, “I must have been half asleep because when Campbell kicked his crinkle ball in here, I thought you had a candy bar in bed.” The sad thing is, he wasn’t even all that surprised at his assumption.
++ I pulled into our driveway the other day and something caught my eye. I guess my brain immediately identified it as “bird” and I looked away. But then I did a double take. Holy bananas! Upon closer inspection, the sucker had a poor little squirrel in his talons. Of course I called J, who happened to be home on a quick break (thank God for living on campus), to meet me outside. When I got out of the car, the hawk flew over to the fence behind him with the squirrel dangling. I mean, this is my back yard y’all! He hung out on that fence forever. Go home, hawk. Go home!
++ I made the mistake of buying and trying Nutella this week. My favorite things in the world are chocolate croissants. I haven’t had one in ages, so I thought I’d try a little on my own. Oh, my goodness y’all. I feel like I’ve been living under a rock! It’s definitely not the healthiest, but whatevs. I don’t care. I know, I know. I still need to try a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Who woulda thought I’d cross “publish a novel” off my 30 before 30 before having a PB&J? Yeah, me neither.
++ We have a string of xmas lights that hangs in our living room because the room is just so dark. They’re white lights on a white strand. Well, half the strand went out. And it’s August. Where the heck am I supposed to find xmas lights right now? Do you know? (I live in the middle of no where so don’t say hobby lobby–the closest one is 3 hours away).
++ Our couches were disintegrating on us–I’m talking to the extent that we had to make sure we didn’t have any “couch” on us whenever we’d get up. I don’t blame them. They’d been put through the ringer in the last almost 5 years. I think cheap furniture is only supposed to go through so many unprofessional moves in its lifetime. So the hubs called last week, told me to call the store to double check they had the couch we wanted in stock that he had a Uhaul lined up. He had a short break from camp and he managed to get the Uhaul, grab the couches, deliver them, dispose of our old ones and then return the Uhaul all in just about an hour and a half! I have to say…we’re kind of in love. I’m also really glad we went for the ottoman, too!
Okay, friends. I think that’s it for today! See yah tomorrow!
by Joey | Aug 13, 2014 | Throwback
When I hear about someone suffering from mental health, my heart absolutely breaks. It’s something no one really talks about. It’s something that gets pushed under the rug. Be happy, people say. As if it were all so simple.
Being sad might be the most crippling of all the emotions. Can you imagine a sadness so great that it makes you want to disappear into nothingness? Imagine your worst moment, then imagine someone living in that state constantly. Could your heart take it? I know mine couldn’t.
I imagine my worst day. Despite the blur of tears, that day is so clear. My heart remembers the sadness so well that sometimes I have to remind it not to feel that way all the time. Because sadness doesn’t go away, it doesn’t. It’s something you carry with you forever, the difference is that we learn how to carry it. We learn how to let it exist without it defining our every moment. And if you’re lucky, you have people who help you carry it. I think that makes all the difference.
I pinned this image ages ago…
And I thought…how very true. How very tragic. To be surrounded by the wrong kinds of people. To allow people into our lives who do nothing for us but make us feel more lonely than before. And I thought how lucky I was to have this ever growing system of support. From people who hardly know me to people who actually love me.
If I’m being one hundred percent honest here, I was depressed in 2013. It was mild, but it was real. And for a person who is typically just happy, it was something I didn’t understand. A general sadness veiled my heart. I let life get in, and I couldn’t get it out. I was on the edge of a breakdown constantly. Life has a way of doing that to even the happiest of people sometimes. I’m not ashamed of it. I’m a strong person, but I wasn’t strong enough for 2013. I just wasn’t. But the thing is, I had people. I didn’t have to pretend. I didn’t have to keep up an appearance. I was sad. I was a kind of sad I’d never, ever known. And it was okay.
And then, finally, the sadness lifted. But all the while, I had people in my corner. They weren’t pulling or pushing. They were just there, standing with me, holding my hand. And it made all the difference.
If you are suffering in any way, please please don’t feel like you have to be ashamed. Please don’t let the world make you think it’s not okay. Because being sad is okay. And you don’t have to be strong all of the time. And there is a way out of the sadness, I promise.
1800-273-8255
