How to get unstuck

I met up with a friend for coffee a couple of weeks ago. She’d texted me the night before and asked if I’d be up for it, and I said yes before thinking through the logistics. Jonathan and I are sharing a car right now. We have been for the last several months. And usually, it’s not a big inconvenience because I work 100% from home. But lately, I’ve been using it as an excuse. Introverted to my core, it’s really easy for me to curl in on myself. Give me a reason to stay home, and I’ll take it every. single. time.

It took some strategy, but I dropped J off then listened to a podcast as I headed across town. These are all very normal things but things I hadn’t done in a long time. Something I didn’t mention is that as I was driving Jonathan to work, we narrowly avoided a horrific accident. As I was entering an intersection, a car doing at least 60 blew through the red light. I happened to see them out of the corner of my eye and screeched to a stop just in time, my heart in my throat.

The experience rattled me. So when I walked into the coffee shop and my friend stood to greet me in a hug, my eyes filled with tears. I don’t know what it is about that look of compassion, but it’ll force a release from me every time. So, I sat across from my friend and chatted candidly, feelings and fears dislodged in the shake-up bubbling to the surface.

I’d been feeling kind of stuck, like I was spinning my wheels. Ideas are never in short supply around here which is usually a blessing. But sometimes I can get a little stunted, unsure which direction to run in. And as I sat with my friend, I finally confessed these things out loud, feeling the weight lifting from my shoulders.

I literally provide coaching for creatives on how to accomplish their goals. I know how to funnel passion into productivity. And yet, I was having trouble doing just that. What is it they say about the cobbler’s children? They go without shoes? Chatting with my friend forced me to give life to the things I’d been avoiding. And it allowed for me to identify where I was struggling.

Getting stuck happens to all of us. And sometimes more often than we’d like to admit. But there are a few sure-fire ways to help you push through the inertia.

Do some reflecting

The stuck feeling is usually attached to some kind of limiting belief. Whether that manifests as fear or a simple belief that you’re not _____ enough for something. (You can fill in that blank with just about anything: good, smart, talented, worth, the list goes on.) We tend to avoid these uncomfortable feelings. But in doing so, we actually end up giving them more energy than if we were to just face them head-on. So while it might feel a little unnatural, run an internal analysis and determine the cause(s) of the issue.

Get specific

Usually, a general feeling of “stuck” actually boils down to something very specific.

Maybe you’re feeling scared to do something because you’re worried about what everyone will think. When in reality, you’re probably just concerned with what very few or even just one person might think.

Or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything on your to-do list because you don’t know where to start. Get specific about your first step. That’s right, just one step. Narrow in on one place to start.

Get clear

Sometimes we can feel stuck because there are just too many ideas floating around in our heads. That’s what was happening to me. I had all these different things I wanted to do, all these ideas to turn into a reality, and it all felt like too much. But when I sat down and got clear about all the things, I started to feel a lot better.

My favorite way to get clear is to write everything down. (I mean, you kind of saw that coming, didn’t you? I am a writer after all…) Do a free write starting each sentence with “I want…” or simply list everything out. When I did this, it helped me eliminate that overwhelming feeling of “too much.”

This exercise also allowed me to get a pulse on each thing. Once I had my list, I spent some time considering how I felt about each idea. Was I excited about it? Did I feel some kind of external pressure to do that one particular thing? Which items would bring me the most joy?

This allowed for me to make some strategic decisions about what gets my immediate attention, which ideas were more long-term projects, and which ones I could eliminate altogether.

Switch things up

Narrow in on your first steps. Maybe that looks like muting or unfollowing the people on social media who make you feel less-than. Or maybe you need to prioritize your projects and break each one down into realistic tasks. Maybe you need to introduce a new habit into your day that makes you feel empowered. Whatever it is, it starts with doing.

That stuck feeling will only continue to fester (ew, what a word, right?) in a state of inactivity. But you can obliterate it by doing. Pick a direction and start running! Often times, just getting started helps you gain clarity.

I’ve been feeling far less stuck lately, and I hope these tips can help you feel the same. So, tell me in the comments below what has you feeling stuck lately? I reply to every comment via email, and would love to chat with you!