I am not a patient person. I never have been. That’s why it always shocked me that I was a remotely good nanny. I don’t have a lot of tolerance. And in fact, whatever I want…I want right now. All of this has been a challenge for me. And for the first few weeks, I just kind of shut down. Day after day, I’m waiting for test results. Results that could make or break me. Each day that passed me by without new information would kill me. And then the calls and texts would come in asking for news, and I wouldn’t have any. And it would just make me angry. Which in turn, would cause me to shut down even more.
I watched a lot of Netflix. I lived in my snuggie, and my hair stayed greasy and pulled back. The bare minimum was getting done around here. And you can bet your bottom dollar I didn’t even open my writing program. The days I have doctor’s appointments or tests are basically shot–an hour drive there and back and however long I’m there? Forget it. By time I’ got home, it’d be a quesadilla (kidding) and bed.
I was allowing myself to get swallowed up in this mess. It’s scary. All of it. You go in thinking it’s simply your gall bladder and well, you end up in medical hell. It’s fun for no one.
But it’s time I suck it up. I scrubbed my kitchen yesterday morning, and it felt so good. I went back to Zumba! last night. The truth of the matter is, I feel fine physically for right now. My mind is a little fogged up with good reason–but I need to do what calms me. I need to keep living my life. Because honestly? Whether I’m hiding underneath the covers or continuing my day-to-day, it’s all the same waiting.
True that, girl! It is all the same waiting, but I think living life and getting out and doing things takes it off your mind a bit. Whenever I go through a rough patch I tend to give myself a little bit of time to mope and do nothing, but then I decide it's time to get up and live life. If you're still able to work out amidst the health problems then work out. It is one of the best cures for feeling down. Thanks for sharing about what's been going on, I know that can be a tough think to do!
What a tough time, especially for a non-patient person (like me too). I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this and hope that you get the best news possible. I'm glad you're able to get back to keeping busy. Even though it's hard, doesn't it at least make you feel better being productive, and on top of that makes the day go faster?? Hopefully it's the same for you. Thinking of you girl!
I've been thinking about you, friend. And praying that you get good news SOON!
I've been thinking about you, friend. And praying that you get good news SOON!
Get on with your Zumba-ing self! I suck at waiting and often say I have no patience. I think keeping busy will be great for you – any more rooms need to be painted? 😉
I love you. You are an inspiration. Also? I sure wish I could come Zumba with you– or even just snuggle in your Snuggie haha.