As the girl who had the same bedroom until the day she left for college, I never imagined that I’d be so familiar with moving. I moved dorm rooms and apartments every year of college. Things only got more crazy exciting when J and I got married. Football is much like the Army in the sense that there are no guarantees where you’ll be from year to year. I had to learn to let go [don’t tell me you all have already forgotten about what an emotional maniac I was when it came to leaving Charlotte] and roll with the punches.
Something I’ve struggled with since leaving for college is friendship. I had one best girlfriend in high school. I had a sprinkling of friends whom I’ll always consider “best friends,” but we’ve moved on through life. We were lucky enough to meet a group of about seven couples on our honeymoon in Mexico who 1) happened to live 45 minutes away from where we were moving the day after we returned from our honeymoon and who 2) took us in like family. There is no way we would have survived our stint in GA without them.
And then I was lucky enough to have a sister in law who put her foot down. I was lonely in Charlotte. And she had a best friend from college who was also lonely in Charlotte. She made us fix that. And without her, I wouldn’t have made it through a lot. We were lucky that our lives (and love) took us away from Charlotte at relatively the same time. But I miss her. I miss her every single day.
And all of this moving has taught me something about friendship. Or maybe just my own friendships. But I have to imagine I’m not the only one. Distance does funny things to friendships. In fact, it is kind of easy to trick yourself when it comes to distance in friendships. When you live 2 or more hours away from your best friends you’re still best friends, but life just doesn’t allow for you to spend much time together. But when you move to a “reachable” distance verses a convenient distance is when you learn a thing or two. I’m approximately one hour away from the home I grew up in. About an hour away from most of the friends I spent 18 years making. I had that “safety net” idea in the back of my head as we prepared for this move. Oh. I’ll be just fine. We’re not far at all from Raleigh. But the reality of it all is, Raleigh is still far. Far enough that it’s not convenient. Far enough that those friendships, despite being at a reachable distance, are still in their “long distance” phase.
I’ve always believed that friendships like family are what fill our lives with joy and happiness. I firmly believe that without those connections and relationships, life can seem very empty. We aren’t at that point in our lives (or marriage) where we’re ready to have our own family. And funnily enough, FRIENDS–my favorite TV show–was all about that time in your life when your friends are more like family–before you have your own.
And I think that’s important. And I hope I’m not the only person who puts that much importance on the people in my life who don’t have my blood running through their veins.
But like I said. Moving teaches you a thing or two. It teaches you about yourself. And it teaches you about others.
I love that you were set up on a friend date and that it worked out! I hope that those who matter most are teaching you that they are in your life, no matter the distance.
Houston is huge. My dad doesn't live a convenient distance from me and as a result, I think I have seen him twice in the past eight months. It's not okay, but sadly it is just life. I joke when making friends with other Houston bloggers that they have to be "geographically desirable" – either live near me, or at least be willing to meet somewhere near downtown in the middle.
I was thinking about this the other day. When we were stationed in Hawaii the wives hung out all the time because they guys were gone all the time. So when you wanted to hang out or do something it was easy to find the time. Well now that we're on shore duty, TJ doesn't go to sea and neither do any of the people he works with, so the wives never hang out really. I just feel like the friendship dynamic is so different here. I have no friends basically. I mean, I have a couple, but sometimes we go a month or longer without seeing each other. I just miss having friends. lol
I lived in Houston for the first 30 years of my life and also had the same childhood bedroom until I left home (at 21!). Moving to NC was really hard for me the first 6 months. I totally understand all these feelings! Let's meet up soon! Are you free on the 21st?
After all the "seasons" I've had in my life, I've started delegating "best friends" of certain times. I will always have my BEST FRIEND, even if we no longer talk daily, or even once a week, sometimes its not even once a month, but I know that if I called her in 5 minutes she'd make time for me. After joining the Navy, I realized I have more than one best friend. I have a "College Best Friend" who knows about my daily life in college, I have a "VA Beach Best Friend" and a "GTMO Best Friend" from my time there while I've been in the Navy.
Distance has tested all my friendships and I've learned that only true friendship will survive, which helps me feel slightly less guilty when it comes to falling out of touch with folks who I at one point considered myself friends with.