Life update: I have some explaining to do…

We can do anything if we put our minds to it.
Take your whole life then you put a line through it.

Friends. Hi. I’ve ached to return to this space. It’s on my mind often, and I miss it terribly. But would you believe me if I told you that literally the day I posted that last blog post, where I talked all about feeling disappointed and depleted, that everything changed. Everything.

I guess I can talk about things in more specifics now. I’ve wanted to the whole time, but I wasn’t even sure myself what the story was that was unfolding. It was all so…unexpected. Life, man. God, man. All very funny if you ask me.

When I graduated college, my mom lovingly referred to me as a fish out of water. I’ve talked about that in this space before–just never really finding my place. It didn’t help that life all this time has felt so…temporary. That’s the world of football, right? You unpack, half settle in and then the rug gets yanked out from underneath you. Remember Buies Creek? Yeah, that one still hurts when I think about it too much.

But when I do think about it all, really think about it–every wrong turn, every disappointment, every single broken heart, man am I grateful now. So. Very. Grateful.

I guess I have some explaining to do.

I don’t really feel like starting at the beginning. I just don’t have it in me to rehash it all right now. Basically, our life got turned on its ear in February of 2019 and that was the catalyst for a whole lot of change. I’ve touched on it here and there in older blog posts and the podcast, but all you really need to know is that 2019 sucker punched us and then continued to kick us while we were down. Looking back at it now, I can see the blessings in the messiness. But when I tell you it was a hard year, those words just don’t feel strong enough. 2019 changed everything. It changed our lives. It changed us. It changed me.

It was full of all the worst things. And some day I’ll get into it all. But today is just not that day. Today I want to focus on the good, if that’s okay with you.

So what changed? Ha, that’s a good question.

Most of you know that my husband took a football job that kind of came in out of nowhere last summer. While the job was an absolute blessing in the way that it brought football back into our lives, it also kind of messed everything up. At least that’s what I thought then. We had plans. We wanted to settle down. We wanted to buy a house. And football doesn’t really offer that kind of stability, not at this stage in a career anyway. And while I was so very happy that my husband had the chance to get back to what he loved, I was tired.

And that job meant we’d stay at Mom’s pretty much indefinitely. We wouldn’t move out at the end of the summer like we’d planned. We wouldn’t be buying a house. Everything we sort of laid in place at the start of 2019 was basically flushed with the promise that we’d figure it out. Eventually.

God and I had a whoooooole lotta conversations last year. But one prayer I prayed more than most was for stability. And a home we could call our own. But mostly, stability please.

There’s a long, twisty story here, one I’ll share another time. But the long and short of it is there are two major updates in my life. And I’ve strangely felt like I can’t really return to this space until I address them. So, here goes.

1. I have a full-time job at the college.

While my freelancing business is still alive and well, I’ve taken a massive step away. I work with a very few clients and the rest I’ve contracted out to writers I trust. And honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever go back. Not unless something massive changes in our lives that requires the need for it. I’m happy. So, so happy. Trust, no one is more surprised than me. A full-time office job? I know, who even am I? But friends? When it’s right, it’s right.

This is my place. These are my people. This is my purpose. Everything up until this point was simply preparing me for it all. I was becoming the person I needed to be to step right into the space designed for me. I didn’t see this coming. I really, really didn’t. But I’m finally home. And oh, so happy.

You might be wondering what about the books. Joey, I thought you said you just want to write books! Well, guess what? Now, I can. Now, I can focus on all the parts of writing that I love without stressing myself silly trying to scrape enough together to make a living. And for the first time ever, I don’t feel like I’m sacrificing any piece of me. Trading one for another.

I feel whole.

2. We bought a house!

I know!! Can you even believe it? Because I really can’t. I still don’t really know how it happened except God. We bought a sweet little project house that we’re turning into a home one DIY at a time. It’s a dream realized. There’s no other way to put it. We closed mid-August and moved in (with the craziest mover experience ever) at the end of August.

So there it is, friends. The cliff notes version of our life since my last post. The craziest thing of all is I was painfully awaiting news on the full time role at the time. I’d been through the wringer with opportunities swinging in and out of my reach since February, and I was kind of losing hope. But the day I published that post, later that afternoon I got the news. The position had been approved (it was created for me). The next day, I applied for a mortgage. The day after that, I got pre-approved for said mortgage. The very next day, we put an offer in on a house that was accepted within an hour.

Life, I’ll tell ya, has been in warp speed since July 7, 2020. But my heart, friends? It’s full. So. Damn. Full.

So come away, starting today
Start a new life, together, in a different place

EASTSIDE;  halsey + khalid