A wakeup call about arbitrary standards

** I have had a few requests to provide audio for my blog posts. So if you’d rather consume this blog post via audio, here you go!**

This is a silly little tale that I hope will serve as a powerful wakeup call about the stupid things we beat ourselves up over. As you all know, I’m a scheduled kinda gal. As someone who gets anxious on a good day, plans and schedules just sort of help me know what to expect. I’m okay with deviation (why do I feel like I can hear my husband laughing somewhere in the distance…?), but I just feel better when I have a general awareness of what’s happening day to day.

Along with that, I like to do things the right way. I don’t want to do something twice. And I certainly don’t want to do anything that someone might call me out about. I’m 99% sure that last one comes from social media use, and I’m pretty sure the root of this story I’m about to share with you is the same.

THE TRUTH ABOUT BEATING YOURSELF UP

When I was in college, the things I would beat myself up over were:

• Not being better organized with my time
• Not studying hard enough for a test
• Taking a day off work to enjoy a football game
• Not getting home enough
• Putting gas/food on a credit card

When I say “beat myself up over,” I’m talking about that internal bullying we all seem to be so good at. Giving ourselves a hard time. Harping on. You know, the silly habit we all have that sucks away so much energy.

Do you want to know what I beat myself up over last night? Well, good. Because I’m about to tell you.

I’m a fairly active person. I am no athlete by anyone’s standards, but I like to move my body regularly. I’ve made a habit of listening to my body when it comes to working out, so luckily, I never ever beat myself up over “missing” a workout. But before you pat me on the head for that one, hear this.

I was such a bully to myself last night because I gave in and washed my hair. I got a little off schedule with my workouts/hair washing days, so I’d washed my hair on Monday night. I like to go at least a day in between washes. Last night was not supposed to be a hair wash day.

You guys, if that’s not the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. I have a company to run. A home to maintain. Animals to keep alive. Clients to coach. But I exerted the energy to beat myself up over basic hygiene.

THE ROOT OF EVIL

We hold ourselves to an impossible standard. And worse, we make perfectly normal things wrong for no good reason. Up until 2011, I washed, blow dried and straightened my hair daily. D-A-I-L-Y. My hair never fell out of my scalp. (Well, except that one time wine was involved with a DIY highlighting job, but we don’t need to talk about that right now.) A bolt of lightning didn’t strike down and evaporate me from this earth. I didn’t even know dry shampoo existed.

But if you all only knew how much time and effort I spend calculating and scheduling hair washing days.

Washing your hair is not bad. But for some reason, we’ve made it so.

There are plenty of things worth holding to a high standard.

• Be a good human.
• Work hard.
• Perform well on a test.
• Don’t be a dick while driving.
• Be a kind, loving wife.
• Don’t live in a dumpster.

NOW WHAT?

But y’all. We’ve been sold a lie. We’ve been consuming so much content the last 11 years that it seems we’ve forgotten how to employ critical thinking. I love a good time-saving tip–probably more than most. And dry shampoo/skipping washes is an excellent trick to save you time. And sure, skipping a wash or two might mean less heat. That’s probably a good thing if you’re looking to grow your hair out or “baby” it after a disaster. (Again, the hair-falling-out highlighting incident comes to mind here.) But washing your hair every day is just fine.

I need this reminder myself, so I’m just going to say it in case someone else out there needs to hear it, too. Please, hold yourself to a high standard. That’s important. But employ critical thinking when it comes to the what. Social media has retrained our brains to believe tips and tricks are best practices always. And sometimes, y’all. They’re just tips and tricks.

There is so much in the world that requires our energy. Beating ourselves up over stupid things is just…well, stupid.

So in an effort to make myself feel better–tell me below. What’s something you’ve beaten yourself up over recently that in hindsight was just plain stupid? 👇🏻