Stop making yourself small. Stop holding yourself back. Stop selling yourself short. This life you’re living? It’s yours. All yours. You get to decide what you want to do with it. You have the power and the ability to do anything you want. Stop believing that voice inside your head that’s saying you’re not good enough.
What’s that thing you want? You know the one–the one you keep dismissing. You don’t have time. You don’t know how. You’re worried people will judge you. Stop the excuses. Your life isn’t up to anyone but you. And you want to know something? People will judge until they see you succeed, and then they’ll wish they did it too.
Maybe people have said things to you, joking or not, that have stuck with you. Maybe you’ve made mistakes and don’t believe you deserve the kind of life you want. Maybe you aren’t sure you can do it. Maybe, if you’re anything like how I used to be, you truly believe that everyone else just gets to have the things you want. Not you.
A bit of a confession? I’ve been in counseling the last several months. With a big push from those who love me the most, I stumbled into a warm, peaceful office with a giant white couch. It looked strangely similar to the kind of therapist’s office you’d see on TV–but somehow that felt comforting to me.
I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last few months. But most importantly? I learned that I have a tendency to make decisions that ultimately protect and serve the needs and feelings of others over myself. Now, that’s not me tooting my own horn here and saying omg look how selfless I am. In fact, quite the opposite. Though that might sound like a decent quality to have, it’s actually one of the main issues my therapist and I are working on. Do you know what happens when you put everyone, and I mean literally everyone first before yourself? Bad things, friends. Bad things.
You end up living inside of decisions that make you a little bit miserable. And then you start resenting the very things you were doing to quote unquote “help someone else.” You end up designing a life for yourself based on what other people need from you. Based on what you think you need to be for other people. And while that might sound noble in your head, stop.
The truth is friend, we can’t change what’s gone on in our pasts. We can’t get that time back. But what we can do is stop beating ourselves up about it and stop wasting the time we have now.
Every single morning, you’re offered a beautiful fresh batch of hours to do anything you want with. Now, sure. Some of those may be dedicated to a day job. Bills have to get paid. This isn’t me telling you to skirt off and knock off on all of your responsibilities. No. But what you can do is be more intentional with the time you have. And you can most certainly stop wasting time doubting yourself or limiting yourself.
Listen to me. Doing what is right for you, even if that means disappointing people in the process, isn’t comfortable. It’s a hard cycle to break. But taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. Stop minimizing yourself to make those around you more comfortable. That has got to stop.
If you’re someone that’s been nodding along with this post internally screaming A-M-E-N, I wish I could grab you by the shoulders, look you in the eye, and tell you we can do this together. Because living your life for everyone else is effing exhausting. Trust me, you don’t want to get to the point of a nervous breakdown only to then find yourself sat on a couch telling some stranger with a clipboard that your life’s a mess. (Though, if you are at that point, please go talk to someone. There is absolutely zero shame in getting the help you need. I wish I hadn’t waited so long.)
Just stop the BS and start living.
I stopped with the BS and finally found the courage to have my YA novel released in print! You can pre-order a signed copy HERE!
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