It’s 6:30AM. I’ve got my coffee and tired eyes. Yesterday was a busy day, and I didn’t manage to fall asleep until after midnight.
But I got to thinking over the last few days. I miss blogging. The old blogging. The momentary snapshot into someone’s life, into their head. I was reading through some old post, and I mean old, long before you or anyone else knew this little space existed. And the posts were so candid and real.
So here I am. Bed head and a sunrise creeping up, painting the sky pink. And this is where you’ll find me most mornings from now on. Are you good with that? I’m good with that.
Funnily enough, while I was sifting through my site, I found a post from 2010 where I listed out the things I want for my life. I was mere weeks from getting married and moving six hours from everything and everyone I knew. And I was scared. I wasn’t sure at all what to expect from marriage. And sitting here, just shy of five years later, it’s a little bone chilling to read.
It’s comical to me to see how superficial some of those wants were. DVR cable? Really, Joey? That made it to your grand list of life goals? Well, Joey. You did it. You’ve arrived. You have DVR. You can rest easy at night.
But no, really. On a serious note, I’m happy I’ve documented my life. Reading that post was like finding an unintentional letter to my future self.
Some things on that list I can happily cross off.
I want my book to get published.
I want to be an amazing amazing wife.
I want to learn how to cook more than just mac and cheese and teriyaki everything. (this is debatable)
I want to get a job that I can actually stand and that pays the bills easily. (easily? maybe not. Still, Do those exist?)
I want to be happy.
I want to stop feeling like something heavy is sitting on my chest.
I want a puppy.
I want my cat to stop peeing on things (oh, Webster…)
I want our home to be comfortable and cute. (which one, Joey? If only you knew back then…)
I want DVR cable. (this one seriously makes me laugh)
I want to have date nights with my husband.
I want to learn things.
I want to be a better version of myself.
It’s also a little weird to see how many of those wants will probably just be constants in this life. The fear of not making friends, being lonely. The desire to feel settled (hopefully we’re on to something with that one here).
I also find it a little strange that I longed for the girl I was in HS. I get it, though. She was excited and bubbly and didn’t really give a shit if people didn’t like her (some really didn’t). And if I had to draw any kind of conclusions, moving back to Charlotte has released that version of myself. I found little HS Joey roaming South Blvd. She was weary and tired, but she’ll be just fine.
It’s hard to see that the struggle with myself started all those years ago. Trying to sort myself out. Trying to figure life out. But I guess that’s what they say your twenties are for, right?
Well, it’s safe to say that here I sit just a few weeks shy of 29, and Joey? You’re doing alright.
What about y’all? What do your old posts look like? Crack open that old journal and cringe with me at the girl we all were in our early twenties. Tell me I’m not alone in that desperate desire for a normal life back then.
I love this!!! I started my blog back in 2008, way before knowing how to add pictures, way before getting married — I even still have an old Xanga account. And my journals from high school where I seriously chronicled how bad I wanted a cheeseburger for dinner. I do love that old HS Joey gets to come out from hiding — especially since this Joey is awesome too. 🙂
Haha I love the DVR one! One of the main reasons I started blogging was so that I could look back and see where I was at a different points in my life. It's so nice that you have this list and can look back and reflect, especially at how much as changed and all that you have accomplished in five years!
Isn't it so funny how sometimes we go back through and see how much we've changed? And how much we really have accomplished? Whenever I think about what I really wanted for my life way back when, I am so incredibly surprised and happy with where I am now. Some of my life goals back then were so superficial and shallow & now, they are so much more. I love that!
I spent some time over the weekend just going through old posts and I'm so incredibly happy to have so much of the last two years documented – how lucky for you that it goes back even farther! xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
I love that you have an old post from so long ago– how cool to look back and reflect and see how much you've grown! I love that you could basically cross off every single thing you wanted!
I did a dating post today so I was scrolling back through some of my old "dating" posts over the past couple of years since I have been single and man I was laughing at myself! It's funny but also pretty cool to look back at progress and how you've changed. I love the posts that are real and honest too – this is a great one! My heart is so full to see you happy and settled in Charlotte. Miss you friend! XOXO
I love this so much! I've had my blog for six years and it is both a little sad, a lot embarrassing and a bunch of sweet going back through the old posts. I do miss completely writing for myself and I try to remember that periodically,
Such a great post, girl! I haven't been blogging for that long, but looking back is one of the things I look forward to the most. I even have fun now looking back at my old "goals" posts to see what I wanted to get done any given week/month… I need a hobby, apparently.
xoxo
Kat
I absolutely love this!!!!
That old post is awesome!!! And look at how much of it you accomplished 🙂 I love the HS Joey is coming out, she is pretty awesome. It is so funny to look back on our old thoughts and wishes and see what we have now and what we want now. I am with you on the same fears holding true..of making friends, knowing what the next step is, etc.
Coincidence that your last post was titled "Taking off the mask"? I think not! I love this – so fun to see how you've grown and changed and holy crap you've accomplished a lot. A LOT. I don't know that I could cross that many off my list. I didn't blog that long ago but I'm going to go dig through some journals tonight to see if I can find anything fun like this.
Hehehe Ohhh Joey. This was such a fun post. You cracked me up with the DVR cable. You HAVE arrived, girl friend.
I love looking back at old posts and journal entries.
I love this =) Congrats on feeling good about where you're at today. That in itself is definitely an accomplishment! I was looking back at some of my old posts recently too- amazing how things change.
I haven't been blogging for that long… but I've had similar experiences when I've gone through old journals. Sometimes I just CRINGE at what I wrote! Other times, I laugh. The DVR thing is awesome! lol
Some of my old posts are comically bad. So bad. Maybe when I have more time into my blog I'll look back and laugh. Right now I just look and shake my head.
I love the DVR cable one. So funny!
Some of my old posts are comically bad. So bad. Maybe when I have more time into my blog I'll look back and laugh. Right now I just look and shake my head.
I love the DVR cable one. So funny!
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