Something happened to me after I had my son. I don’t know if it was an immediate change or whether it crept in slowly over time, but it threw everything out of whack. Before I became a parent, I had my life pretty well in order most of the time. I was the queen of systems and processes, routine and habits. I loved them. Obsessed over them. Lived and breathed by them.
I knew having my son would change the predictability of my life. But I’d also heard so much about how littles (babies, toddlers, children) thrive on routine. So while I knew things would look different, I thought I’d basically been training my whole life for this season. I can routine my way out of a paper bag. No problem.
Spoiler alert: Nope.
WRONG.
Jokes on me.
I’d never felt more out of control in my entire life. It didn’t matter what system I implemented, everything would go off the rails within just a few days. I could not get a grip on anything.
The plate(s) are full & my todo list was killing me
Full disclosure: I have a lot on my plate. You probably do, too. Add in our circumstances, and it created the perfect storm of chaos. Everyone has something, right? I’m grateful for all of it, but yes. It is a lot. For those of you who might be new, I work a traditional job part-time remotely. I do occasionally have meetings or in-person obligations, but they are rare and I have a lot of warning for those. I am also an indie author which requires me to wear lots of hats: writing (obviously) and all things social media (😅). My social media channels exist in support of my author brand and establishing a connection to my audience — they include this blog/website, Pinterest, TikTok, Instagram/Facebook, Youtube and a weekly Newsletter (Joyful by Design). I should also be attending book events and manning vendor tables and attending conferences and and and and… but 🫠. I’ll get there. (And with this system, I actually mean that and can see it happening without losing my mind.)
I’ve also been keeping my 3.5 year old son home (mostly) full-time since he was a year old. We had many false-starts with preschool programs before we went through an extensive evaluation process where he was finally enrolled in a part-time special education program that operates on a traditional school year calendar.
Throw in, you know, the typical things we’re responsible for like meal planning and cleaning and laundry and social calendars and and and. Well.
My plate is…full.
How I knew something had to change
Things were getting done. But I was slowly dying inside. I felt frazzled, anxious and always behind. I’d cross one thing off my list only for several more to be added. Everything felt urgent. And I didn’t feel like I had the space I needed (and desperately wanted) to really sink myself into anything.
I love working. I love that I get to spend my time raising my son. But I wasn’t allowing myself to enjoy any of it with how I was operating. I was constantly in defense, frantically moving through my day, already anticipating the next thing that would throw everything off course.
I was drowning.
And frankly, I was miserable.
I didn’t understand how I was feeling because this is the life I dreamed about. Obviously our circumstances threw us a bit of a curve ball, but ultimately, I wanted this. I wanted to be home, working and raising my child. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t think it would be impossible.
Continuing on in this existence? That was impossible. I wasn’t going to make it. I felt myself unraveling. I felt trapped. There was not one thing that I could off-load.
So if I couldn’t change my responsibilities, I knew the only option was to change how I was approaching them.
This get-things-done system changed everything
Disclaimer: you’re going to scoff. I can already feel it. I know. I know. And I know you know. But knowing and doing are not the same. How can I be sure?
Because I’ve literally done presentations on this. I have preached this system to professionals of all types. I’ve been paid to coach business owners on this exact model of productivity. (Don’t worry, there’s nothing for sale in this blog post. I don’t even offer those services anymore for obvious reasons — the plate is wayyyyy too full for all that.)
But I get it now. I get how people get to the place where they’re so desperate for the help that they hire a professional to coach them into a system of productivity.
I’m embarrassed to say I got there myself. The moment I realized how simple the solution was and the fact that I already knew it, well, let’s just say I finally fully understood how my clients were feeling. I like to think I was empathetic to them. But it makes me laugh now just how much I didn’t get it then – young and childless.
And as you read this, you’re going to get annoyed. You’re going to scoff (refer back to the disclaimer). You may even dismiss what I’m sharing with you because it’s too simple. Don’t. Please, for the love of your mental health and how you experience your life, don’t.
The get-things-done system that will relieve your anxiety, supercharge your productivity and introduce peace back into your life
I’m going to break this down as simply as possible.
Everyone manages tasks differently. Whether you’re using an old fashioned pen and paper or an elaborate, sophisticated project management system, you know what you need to get done. This system takes the what and allows you to see the when.
For this, I use a combination of traditional calendar blocking (very loosely because life these days is incredibly unpredictable, so FLEXIBILITY is key) and Google calendar tasks. If you’re using iCal or any other calendar system that doesn’t allow for tasks, that’s totally fine. I just prefer the satisfaction of the tasks graying out once it’s been complete that Google Calendar offers.
I use Notion to manage everything I have going on. Specifically, I use this template for the ADHD brain created by the adorable Braelyn. I won’t be going into specifics today on this template, but please hear me when I say this template is perfection. I have not been formally diagnosed with ADHD because I haven’t done the official testing yet. My primary suspects it and the evaluations show that my son likely has it. Apparently it’s hereditary and we know for dang sure my husband doesn’t have it. 🤣 That was a tangent, but I promise it’s a well-deserved tangent. The template is everything I could ever hope for, and my brain loves it.
All that to say, my Notion lets me know what tasks I have on my plate at any given time. Now, because my life can be slightly chaotic, I have two ways in which I do this next part. Both work just fine; it’s simply a matter of preference for you. I either do this at the start of the week (usually on Saturday or Sunday when I have a few minutes) or each evening before I go to bed for the next day.
- I map out my calendar blocks. These can vary, but I have certain calendars that use certain colors, and I assign certain blocks of time to those categories. The categories I’m typically blocking include: My job job (salmon), my author brand work (light blue), my son (green), personal (pink), meals (orange) and housekeeping (yellow).
- I check my Notion and assess the tasks on deck
- I estimate about how long the task may take
- I add the tasks into my Google calendar as a task within the appropriate calendar block.
I know. You’re rolling your eyes and thinking it seems entirely too simple to be so revolutionary. And it’s likely something you already know. But it’s not helping you if you’re not doing it. Which is precisely where I’d ended up.
Why it works
You want the most honest, easy answer? Because I can see it. And I can move it.
It wasn’t enough for me to just know what I had going on each day. That made me feel overwhelmed, frantic and distracted every second of the day. Taking each item and plugging it into my calendar allows me to see it.
It allows me to compartmentalize it, not worrying or thinking about it unless it’s the designated time to pay it attention. It allows me to organize and/or reconfigure the day as needed. But because everything is on the calendar, if things have to get moved around, I know that I have to plug the tasks in somewhere. They’re all there, visible and waiting. So instead of those living in the void of eventually and at some point, they immediately get reassigned to a different time that works better.
It also helps me make better decisions throughout the day and set clearer and firmer boundaries (and expectations) about what I can and cannot do in a single day. (It also helps me to properly communicate said boundaries. People hear “wfh” and assume we’re on the couch all day binging reality TV.)
How it has genuinely improved my life (and how it’ll improve yours)
The best way this has impacted my life is that it’s allowed me to be present in the moment. I’m intentional about what I’m doing and when I’m doing it. And I get to enjoy what I’m doing. When I’m on an outing with my son, I’m there with him. I’m not internally panicking about all the things I should be doing instead. The only thing on deck in that moment is the thing I am doing.
I’m productive in the right way. I’m not just doing things. I’m doing the right things. And damnit y’all, that feels good.
My brain feels clear. As an overthinker with anxiety who likely has ADHD, it’s loud in my head. This get-things-done system has done wonders for silencing some of that noise, at least in the areas that really matter.
I feel in control and way less anxious. I’m operating on offense now. Sure, life still happens and things have to get moved around (more often than not), but a plan can be adjusted as long as there’s a plan to adjust. I used to worry that having a plan would make me feel more anxious when things went sideways (which they would inevitably do). Instead, I know exactly what needs to get moved. And I can clearly see what time I do (and don’t) have to make informed decisions about what gets done when.
We are not super humans. And guess what — you’re not always able to do it all. But by implementing this type of productivity system, you’re able to get a better grasp on what you feasibly can do without fully losing your mind.
So many burnout cases are simply from trying to do too much too fast. You can do anything, my love. But you can’t do everything all at once. And take it from someone who has burned out hard, not only is it so much more enjoyable when you give yourself the proper space and time to get things done — you do those things so much better.
In the wise words of Billy Joel
Where’s the fire what’s the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You’ve got so much to do
But only so many hours in the day, hey
A few things to note:
- I have the calendar widget on my phone home screen and on my laptop desktop. I see my calendar all. day. long.
- I need to stress just how often my plan has to be rearranged. But I find it so easy to rearrange the plan when I can see it.
- I am a work-from-home stay at home parent. Especially right now since it’s summer. And even during the school year, my son is only in “school” 2 hours and 45 minutes 4 days a week. So I need you to know that I am constantly interrupted all day long. Every task is handled with a side of fixing excavator buckets and answering questions and fetching snacks and setting up crafts and activities and arguing with a tiny male version of myself. These are not deep, blissfully peaceful moments of productivity. I’m still a parent to a wild 3.5 year old. But at least the stuff is getting done and my todo list is no longer disrupting my peace. 🤣
Now, it’s your turn to preserve your peace
I want you to imagine for just a moment how it would feel to operate from a place of offense instead of defense. If amidst the chaos, there was clarity. Do yourself the favor of trying this out, even for just one day. I promise if you do, you’ll see the immediate shift in how you feel and you’ll want to keep going. Now, it takes effort initially, so we can all fall off course occasionally. But if you can give yourself 10 minutes to set out the plan for the day ahead, your day will feel entirely different.
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