There’s this thing we do. All of us. Not a one of us immune. We tell ourselves there’s a very important reason for it. We actually even convince ourselves that it’s for our own good; our benefit; that this is actually a favor we’re doing for ourselves. But it’s a lie. A big, fat, juicy lie.
If you’re waiting for the perfect time to start, well, then sigh. Hello. This article is for you.
And what I need you to understand is that as much as I’m writing this article for you, I’m also very much speaking to myself right now. Because the reality is — I know this stuff. I teach this stuff. I preach it. I coach it. But I also know that living it? Putting it into practice? Well, it all so much easier said than done.
Because the reality is, if you’re waiting for the perfect time to start, you’re creating the habit of procrastination. And procrastination leads to inaction and disappointment. It tricks us into thinking we’re actually doing something when we really aren’t.
And I don’t know about you — but I, for one, am really sick of disappointing myself. And I want to make things happen; ready or not.
THE “PERFECT TIME” IS AN ILLUSION
You’re waiting until things slow down. You’re waiting until you have xyz. You’re waiting until you know more. You’re waiting to feel more confident. You’re waiting until you feel ready.
I get it because I’ve said exactly the same things. Hell, I’m living in those same excuses right now. But that’s what they are at the end of the day: excuses.
I know, hold on. Before you click out in annoyance: they are real concerns; but they are also excuses. Because things that fall into that category are always going to exist. And if you want proof, ask a mom the last time she and a mom friend hung out. She’ll show you her text messages which will reveal a long strong of friends trading the sentiment:
“When things slow down, we should totally get the kids together!”
“Yes! I’d love that!”
ONE MONTH LATER
“When things slow down, we should totally get the kids together!”
“Yes! I’d love that!”
ONE MONTH LATER
You get the picture.
Things are never going to slow down. There will always be something. It wasn’t until my late thirties that I realized damn, our parents were right: if it’s not one thing, it’s another.
If you’re choosing to wait until the right time, what you’re really saying is “this isn’t a priority to me right now.”
We make time for the things that matter to us. We find a way for the things that are important to us.
But waiting for the “perfect time” provides a cozy, comfortable place for perfectionism and fear to hide.
REAL TALK | IF YOU START NOW; YOU’LL START TO FEEL READY
I know it sounds crazy. I know you think that you’re doing something productive by planning everything to the nth degree. But you cannot and will not gain momentum in the planning phase. It is simply, scientifically impossible. But you will gain momentum by taking action.
PLANNING IS NOT ACTION!
I know. I’m sorry. It was a hard pill for me to swallow, too. ButI get stuck in that space if I’m honest. Planning is important, for sure. We all know that saying: Fail to plan; plan to fail?
There’s truth to it for sure. But what happens to many of us is that we get comfortable in the planning phase, and we trick ourselves into thinking that we’re actually doing something, that we’re making meaningful progress toward our goal.
But we are not.
Make your plan, please. But also set a deadline to start. Don’t get stuck there. If starting scares you (which, if you’re reading this I’m going to safely assume that it does), start with something small. Even small action breeds momentum.
And the more you do, the more ready you will feel.
REFRAME YOUR MINDSET
You want things to be perfect, I get it. If you’re like me, my biggest fear was embarrassing myself. I didn’t want people to see something that I didn’t deem “perfect” and judge it, thinking that I thought it was perfect.
That’s a deep seeded wound that I’m working on in therapy, okay?
But I also tend to really overthink things. Then perfectionism and fear take over and paralyze me into inaction.
Sound familiar?
So this is when you have to reframe your perspective. A few mantras I had to adopt were:
- Done is better than perfect.
- Progress over perfection
- Start messy, stay consistent, finish proud.
- You don’t have to get it right the first time, you just have to get it going.
- Launch now, improve later.
- Action is the antidote to fear.
- Small steps lead to big results
- I can adjust as I go.
- I’ll learn more by doing than planning.
Reframing your mindset to focus more on messy action than on fear will help you get comfortable with taking steps forward.
HOW TO START RIGHT NOW | THE POWER OF SMALL ACTION
Hey, action is action. My favorite mantra from above is that small steps lead to big results because it’s true. Starting is often the hardest step — it’s a hurdle we can’t seem to clear. But once you shift from inaction to action, something…happens.
Just like we know a body in motion stays in motion; an idea in action stays in action.
Once you take that first small step, you’ll find that it’s actually so much easier than you thought to keep the momentum going. My favorite trick with this is that I set a timer for 5 minutes.
5 minutes.
That’s it. Whatever the task is, I’m giving myself 5 minutes of focused action. It may not sound like a lot because it’s not. But it’s just enough time to get the ball rolling.
And guess what?
9 times out of 10, when that timer goes off, I’m already in the flow and don’t want to stop. Because the moment I stepped into action, all that fear that was chocking me out and paralyzing me into inaction disappeared.
If you’ve been a long-time consumer of my content, you’ll be familiar with one of my favorite sayings: doing feels better than the wishing. And you guys, THERE IS SO MUCH TRUTH TO THAT!
Actually, I have a homework assignment for you. I want you to identify the smallest, most digestible action you can take right now.
Set a 5 minute timer and do it. Whether that’s walking for 5 minutes, starting that decluttering project you’ve been putting off, writing the first paragraph, whatever it is. Set the timer. And start.
When the timer goes off, I want you to audit how you feel.
Feels pretty good, huh?
Bonus points if you come back to this blog post and share what you started, how starting made you feel, and if you had enough momentum to carryon past the initial 5 minutes.
Other things you can do to start right now are:
- Commit to it, either publicly (like on social media) or privately with a trusted friend.
- Set a short deadline. If you really feel like you have more planning to do (I beg you to be really honest with yourself about this, okay?), then setting a short deadline is important. AND I MEAN SHORT. Within the next 2 weeks.
- Ask yourself: what’s something small I can do right now. This can be as simple as organizing files so they’re easier to access or creating a template to help facilitate expedited action. Sometimes, for me, this looks like creating an outline — whether it’s for a blog post, a youtube video or a chapter — creating an outline feels a lot less daunting to me than creating the whole thing. But THEN, once the outline is created, creating the thing feels less daunting.
THE PERFECT TIME TO START IS NOW
Ladybug, do the thing. I know starting is the hardest part, but you’ll feel so much better once you do. That life you want? It’s right on the other side of the first step. And once you take that first step, the second step will feel easier, and so on and so on. Momentum.
So, I’d like to challenge you to do something right now. Commit to it right here right now in my comment section. Tell me what it is that you’ve been putting off and identify ONE SMALL THING you can do today to take action. I’ll root you on and help you stay accountable.
And guess what? You’re going to feel so amazing once you start. I promise.
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