I’m not going to lie, when I finished the series I was so sad I didn’t have anything else to fill the space. I was gripped. I came into it late — like most things, I heard about it as it was ramping up, but I tend to steer clear of fast trends. It’s an odd anxiety trigger for me — this feeling of “lack.” So I tend to excuse myself from the things everyone is super into until the initial rush is over. I swear it stems from being the youngest and the “last picked,” but this isn’t one of my therapy sessions so let’s move on. All of that is to say, I just finished the series on Friday and holy moly you guys.
Let’s talk about ReesaTeesa & Who TF did I marry?
I need to say this first because I think it’s vital. “Reesa” could be any of us. I appreciate her courage in sharing this story — and, in her words, sharing the truth even when it makes her look bad. Because in reality, so many of us have had the same thoughts. We have all experienced the same internal struggles, the same motivators, the same resistance to pay attention to our gut feelings because we want the thing so damn bad.
She said it herself; she wanted it to be her turn. And damn, what woman can’t relate to that on some level?
If you want the TLDL (listen) — the quick summary is (spoilers, obviously): ReesaTeesa met a man on FB dating (she also matched with him on Hinge but the name was slightly different so she didn’t make the connection right away until he pointed it out). On her way to their first date, her tire blew out and he won her over by coming to her rescue, changing her tire, replacing (and paying for) a new tire then spoiling her at the Cheesecake Factory. They fell hard and fast and when the world shut down two weeks later thanks to Covid, they decided to quarantine together despite their original stance not to ever live with a partner until marriage because they didn’t want to be alone during the quarantine.
From there, Reesa was taken on an absolute rollercoaster. Legion, as we’ll call him, claimed to be very well off from his arena football days and he also claimed to be a VP of a condiment company set in Atlanta, GA. He dangled $700,000.00 houses and BMWs, making promises he never, ever intended to keep just to watch her get excited then crushed. Shortly after they moved in together, Reesa found out she was pregnant. But the pregnancy would end in a painful miscarriage and a D&C where she waited in recovery for over 3 hours for Legion, who per his fake personal assistant had to get out of a meeting and come pick her up from all the way across town.
He faked jobs, backgrounds, family members, phone calls, deaths, the lies go on and on. Reesa, all along, had a strange feeling, so much so that she kept voice diaries on her phone where she could basically try to talk things through in order to reason with herself. In the end, she kicked him out after discovering his series of lies thanks to discovering a discrepancy in the SSN he used for a background check required for a new job.
This lead her down a path to discover that he did not attend the school he claimed, never lived in CA as he claimed, had been married more than once, had a criminal history that involved impersonating a police officer and that he was a forklift operator at the condiment company, not a VP, and didn’t resign — he was fired.
She kicked him out only then to discover he didn’t have any money and he became homeless. Members of his family contacted her to untangle the truth from the lies on their end when he showed up claiming that he found her cheating, which only helped her to further solidify how much he really lied to her. They divorced in August of 2021, and she went on to share her story in a 52 part series on TikTok that went insanely viral.
Key Takeaways
Forget your timeline
“Being married to the wrong person is a type of hell no one should have to go through.” Reesa ended the series with that statement. You guys, please, for the love of all that is holy SCREW YOUR TIMELINE. If you feel like you are forcing something — if you feel like you are dragging a mule, if you are blatantly ignoring bright red flags — get out of there.
Your commitment to this arbitrary timeline is going to get you into situations that will be painful, messy and hard to get out of. I can promise you, the world doesn’t suddenly become this magical place just because you get a shiny piece of jewelry and the license to change your name.
When it comes to marriage, you want it to be right…not right now.
Listen to your gut
I am the person people come to. It’s been this way my entire life. I’m the one people confide in, seek advice from, lean on. So I’ve heard it straight from their own mouths that they know something isn’t right. They can feel it in their bones, but for whatever reason, they ignore their instincts. They ignore the advice. They sweep it under the rug.
Those same friends have sought comfort and refuge from me when their relationships crumble. For some, it was just painful and unfortunate. For others, it was downright scary and dangerous.
Your gut knows what is right and what isn’t. You owe yourself enough respect to listen to it.
Speakerphone is underrated
I’m married to a football coach who is a master recruiter. The number of phone calls that man has taken in my house cannot be counted. Each and every one of them, much to my dismay, on speakerphone.
I never realized that was something I should be grateful for until I listened to/watched this series. So much of what Reesa went through could probably have been avoided if only she asked for certain calls to be on speakerphone. Homie straight up faked important phone calls with made up people.
Trust but verify
I am a person with deep rooted trust issues, much to my husband’s chagrin. I want proof. All. The. Proof. As women, we are often made out to seem crazy or ridiculous when we press too hard into things. Y’all. You are allowed to trust your instincts and request what you need to feel comfortable.
If someone thinks you’re crazy for trusting but verifying, they’re not a person you want around.
If you gripped by Who TF Did I Marry, you need to listen to this podcast
Not to diminish Reesa’s experience, but if you think her story is crazy — you need to listen to this season of Something Was Wrong. I think about this story at least once a week. Similar type set up except “Kenzi” meets “Joe” by applying for a job as a nanny for his kid. The interview turns into a date and the rest is absolutely f***ing insanely chaotic romance. I’ve listened to the season more than once because I’m like wait, hold up, did I hear that right? I did. It’s gripping and heartbreaking and absolutely terrifying to know just how far people will go.
If you engrossed in Who TF Did I Marry, you should read The Last Thing He Told me by Laura Dave
I confessed that I was in a reading slump on TikTok at the start of this year, and people came through with the recommendations. And one of my IRL friends recommended The Last Thing He Told Me by Laura Dave, and that’s the book I chose to read in an attempt to get out of my slump.
Y’all. It worked. I was hooked. Once again, you have this woman who knows one thing to be true only to discover that she was so, so wrong. When her husband disappears one day, leaving her only one message protect her, referring to his teenage daughter, the main character goes on a hunt to find out the truth and bring her husband home.
Again, if you were entertained by Who TF Did I Marry, you’ll like the book. I promise.
Okay, that’s it from me for today. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. Have you listened/watched Who TF Did I Marry? What do you think women could do differently to avoid finding themselves in a similar situation?
Until next time! XOXO
0 Comments