I’m scared down to my bones.
And it feels so good.
I spent Sunday night googling Mercury in Retrograde at my kitchen counter with Amanda. She’d been hearing about it all over the place, and truthfully so had I. But I tend to take things with a basic understanding and just assumed that the planets had shifted (as they often do periodically, which I learned from my brother’s space obsession growing up), and that the shift somehow messes with our mental faculties.
Turns out, I was pretty right. Mercury in retrograde is when the planet looks like it’s going backwards in the sky. I’m not an astrologist nor do I really care to find out why it does this, that’s not really the point here.
The point is that it’s believed that Mercury rules communication, clear thinking, truth and travel. And when Mercury seems to be going backwards, all those things do, too. Be cautious, I’ve been warned. Mercury is in retrograde. Like it’s something to fear, to be prepared for.
It seems the retrograde (is that the right terminology here? I’m new at this) will last until May 22, this coming Sunday, after starting on the 28th of April.
And I’ll confess, my life has seemed to be all kinds of backwards since then. I made some big, no huge decisions in the last few weeks. I allowed myself to be honest in situations that I’d been holding my tongue about for far too long. I’d been feeling trapped in a truth that no longer felt like it fit, and I said so.
I got clear about what I want and spoke the truth around it. And maybe for me, that is backwards. And maybe that’s not exactly a bad thing.
I feel like sometimes the decisions that were once right for our lives start to hold us back, or worse pull us backward. But because they were once right, we feel loyal to the choice, afraid to change things up. Scared to accept that it’s time to move on.
I don’t know if Mercury and it’s cosmic behavior is to blame for any of this, but if it is, I’m thankful. It pushed me outside of myself. It turned things backwards in the best way.
When everything feels like it’s falling apart,
hold on tight.
Because it usually means things are falling into place.
I don't know if things are weird or not – my life is generally weird – but I think we have to truly be present always. If it's true that things are backwards, then maybe that explains my weekend. I am writing about it in a What He Said series on my blog this week featuring little snippets of my experiences. Check out the first 2 posts at http://runwright.net
So Chris's boss is HUGE intro astrological signs, planets, patterns, all kinds of things. Chris gets in to it now too since he sees that the stuff his boss will say turns out to be true. So when Chris heard about Mercury in Retrograde on his birthday month….our car shopping for me came to an immediate halt. He said we could pick it back up next month. No joke.
I'm not into astrology but I think the transit of Mercury last week had something to do with this too. And it's realllllly hard to accept that the decisions we made years ago aren't always the right ones for us today. Adapting is hard.
so this totally ties in with what i said on your other post.. sometimes we do things because we have always done them, and that's not a good reason to do anything! i think you are right, we feel loyal to the choice, as if we will somehow betray ourselves by going back on that choice.