Whenever you’re trying something new, there’s a pretty standard period of time where you feel a bit like a fraud. When I started running, I felt awkward and weird when I’d wander into the active wear section of Target. I felt like I didn’t belong there because I wasn’t a runner. I was just trying to be. I was working toward being a runner. I couldn’t run more than 5 minutes at a time without stopping when I bought my first pair of running shorts, but it was all part of the process.
I’m a runner now.
There’s nothing fraudulent about that statement.
But we all have to start somewhere any time we try something new. I like to look at it like we’re redefining ourselves a bit. You live your whole life not doing something, and then suddenly you take it up. You’re redefining part of the mark you leave on the world.
It can be scary. The fear of the unknown is real and can be all consuming. You worry about the judgement. You worry about the failure. But mostly, you spend a lot of time feeling like you’re just pretending. Maybe you’ll even utter Oh who am I kidding? I’m just fooling myself. But what if you’re not? What if you have to fake it until you become it?
That’s really the only way to do anything, isn’t it? When you start out, you’re not a professional or an expert. You’re trying it. You’re testing out a role. You’re pretending what if. And if you like it, you keep doing it. You practice the pretend until it becomes real. Until it just becomes a part of you.
I feel like so many of us stop before we even try because of the fear of judgement. That was something I had to get over when I started running. I dreaded seeing other runners. I hated getting lapped. I worried they could all tell that I was just pretending. I worried they all believed that I didn’t belong in their club. But it didn’t matter. I knew I was just starting out. So I let myself believe any time I saw another runner that they were sending me “good for you” vibes. I don’t know if that’s true. People probably did judge my form or the fact that I was slow. But I didn’t let myself believe that.
I’ve gone through something similar with writing. I’ve always been a writer, but I was waiting for the world to validate it all for me. I went to school for writing. My degree is English with a concentration in Creative Writing. I’ve practiced writing every day. I’ve provided content to this blog almost daily for the last seven years. I’ve published a book. I’ve contributed to various websites. But whenever I tell someone I’m a writer, I feel like a fraud, like I’m just pretending.
So you tell me. What makes you feel like a fraud? What do you think it’ll take for you to feel validated? I’m not sure I’ll ever feel like a good writer (I’m pretty sure all writers struggle with that), but I do believe I’ve earned the title of writer if nothing else.
I faked it until I became it.
This post was written for me. I've felt this way in SO many things. Running is one of the top ones. And again…picking it up this year. Once again, I feel like a faker, but now I know I can do it. So it is easier this time. Anything new makes me feel like someone else is living in my body. Good grief. But once it becomes part of my day, it gets easier. Even acting as a supervisor sometimes feels fake…but that's what I am so I have to stretch my wings and PRACTICE those skills so they become second nature. Great post! Love you bunches!
Same, same, same.
I constantly feel this way with my career. So many of the people I interact with are extremely intimidating and I often feel like I simply don't belong with them. When I get contacted for my opinion on something or asked to contribute to an article I often find myself looking at the other contributors and thinking: "I do not belong in the company of these people!" Like the kid at the grown-ups table, I keep waiting for someone to shoo me away to the amateur league. It hasn't happened yet, but it seems like it probably should.
A friend gave that advice one time – put on confidence & wear it & everyone will believe you in it… & its so true. I felt so fake when I did my first wedding as a photographer. But I had to put that confidence on – fake it till I made it – & it worked. I have since done that bride & grooms baby announcement & first baby & family pictures.
I think if you make something a habit, you are officially doing that thing. Running, writing, etc. I think the power that goes along with assumptions relates to this post too…"Oh, you're not a runner" or "Oh, you're not a writer". Whether other people are saying it or we're saying it to ourselves.
I call myself a blogger. Do I sit in my basement, in the dark, and write blog posts and only interact with the internet? No. But that's an assumption non-bloggers have about bloggers.
I think the whole "imposter syndrome" thing is something so many people can relate to—I know I can. I feel this way pretty much anytime I label myself as anything—particularly as a "business owner".
xoxo
Kat
You are awesome my friend! I am a runner as well and it does not matter how fast you are, all that matters is that you are doing it. 🙂
I have this internal conflict with myself every time I try to run– and even though I know it doesn't come easy to a lot of people who are now awesome runners, I always think to myself "I can't do this- I'm just not meant to be a runner…" You're so right, it's so easy to just let fear win and give up. Life is scary but we really never know what each new day will bring.
ps. are your nails holographic?!
You are so a writer girl, don't even play!!! That is not a question! 🙂 I feel like a fraud sometimes when I think about fitness. Even though I have worked out 5 days a week for almost three years straight…I still don't feel like I belong in the fitness crowd.
Fake it til you make it!
Oh I love this post so much! I am just beginning my running journey. As of earlier this week, I ran for two straight miles without stopping. Not crazy cool or impressive, but it was a first for me and an achievement I'm super proud of! Faking it till you've made it is the key!
I've been running for about five years, and I'm working on self-publishing my fourth book, but I still feel like a fraud when I describe myself as a runner or a writer.
oh girl i totally feel like a fraud. all the time. i have been running for.. what, 6 years? i don't even know. i still don't feel like a runner because i'm not as fast or consistent as other runners. i don't really have anything else that i call myself, i'm not a writer or anything like that. i'm just me haha. but everything i do, i always feel like i'm not good enough at it to say i do it, does that make sense? fake it till you make it definitely works though.