Dear person in any kind of relationship:
A little advice. I don’t typically go there, but sometimes it just needs to be done. I consider myself a relationships writer, and if that’s the case, then this post just needs to be written.
None of us are perfect. There are things, I’m sure, that each of us would like to change about our significant other. One of mine, for instance, is I wish he’d come to bed habitually every night instead of innocently falling asleep on the couch while watching TV. I’m sure he’d wish I’d nag him less, especially about the falling asleep on the couch thing.
Your significant other is bound to annoy the crap out of you every now and again. It wouldn’t be natural if they didn’t. They may piss you off, too. And unfortunately, they may occasionally hurt your feelings. It simply just happens sometimes.
You’re going to fight. You’re not going to see eye to eye on everything. Someone is going to go over budget sometimes or forget to make the bed. That’s totally normal.
But do me a favor. NO, do yourselves, your relationship and your significant other a favor and fight carefully.
Fight carefully? What the heck does that mean, you might be asking.
Fight productively. Fight nicely. Do not EVER let something slip from your lips that you cannot take back. Do no purposely hurt the people you love because you are angry or upset. It is never okay to make derogatory remarks to another person, especially someone you’ve committed your life to.
How do I do that, you might be wondering. Implement a filter. Hear what you’re going to say in your head before you speak it. Ask yourself if it’s really worth saying. Ask yourself if saying it is going to be productive to solving the issue at hand or if it’s just going to hurt the person you love.
I’m no expert. But I was hurt a lot in the past by a boy. A boy who made a habit of putting me down so he felt better about himself. What kind of jerk makes a hobby or talking to another person like that? Mr. Husband and I are guilty of fighting. In fact, we used to be that couple on vacations that our friends would roll their eyes at. We still fight, but I’d like to think we’ve come a long way since then.
Also, keep the fight simple. If you’re fighting about the refrigerator, leave the dishwasher, washer and dryer out of it. Solve the fridge issue and move on to the next. If next week you find yourself fighting about the dishwasher, leave the fridge out of it. Don’t keep bringing up old fights. That will absolutely plague your life. I’m not kidding. That can get seriously exhausting.
Just try to be courteous. Yes, even while you’re fighting. You’ll find it’s much more productive and you can go back to being those nauseating love birds quicker.
Sincerely,
Someone whose been there
Great words of wisdom!
Good words of wisdom. Learning how to fight well is probably one of the hardest things about marriage. Some of the fights you have with your spouse might have actually caused you to break up if you weren't married – but because you're married, breaking up is really "divorcing" and permanent, so you work through it.
seriously love this girl 🙂 xo
No one ever said relationships are easy that's for sure. I agree you do have to pick your battles, but sometimes it's worth waiting thinking for a few hours alone and then talking about it. The things that annoy us/them should be discussed as well as a work in progress b/c who really wants to be annoyed for the rest of your life? Most importantly PRAY ABOUT IT! Great post girl! xoxo
Very wise. Once you say something, it's never really forgotten. Words can be more hurtful than anything physical, and when you're all wound up, it's amazing how creative one can be with the insults. Thanks for the thoughtful post!
This is such an awesome and insightful post. I am in a relationship and we have had our doses of bickering. My favorite rule is "Never go to bed angry" and "always kiss goodnight" It makes everything center back to what were in a relationship for.
Joey this is a beautiful post and something we should all remember with all loved ones!
stumbled onto your blog and just wanted to leave you a little blog luv! Def enjoyed this post!! New Follower via email 🙂
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