For a while now, I’ve wanted brave tattooed in teeny tiny script on the underside of my wrist. The act itself would take tremendous courage because it would openly go against my upbringing. Never mind the fact that I already have a tattoo. But that’s my little secret, hidden away.
I’ve been consumed with fear lately. Chasing dreams is a synonym for taking risks. Everything feels so fragile, scary. But in true Joey fashion, I analyzed the feeling. I was tired of walking around with this knot in my throat, terrified constantly. And in order to combat it, I needed to find the root.
For weeks I assumed it was the fear of failure. But it wasn’t until I purged every worry, every thought, every dream down on to paper that I realized I had it wrong. I’m not afraid of failing. I’m afraid of the success.
As crazy as that sounds, hear me out. If I fail, what’s the worst case scenario? I keep the life I have now. And while I’m busy chasing dreams, I’m doing okay. I have a great job, a hard working husband, a cozy apartment and wonderful friends. Things are hard, but they are good.
But if I throw myself into all these creative projects floating around in my head, and I find success? Things would change. I’d be the boss. I’d assume a new role of responsibility. I’d once again be redefining myself; my world.
When you’re faced with a risk, people tell you to ask yourself what the worst case scenario is. But what do you do when the worst case scenario is actually the best case?
We get comfortable. Not lazy, necessarily, but we stick with what feels easy. I think back to my first few weeks at Western. When I got my acceptance, I knew without a doubt that I’d transfer to Appalachian after my first year. But that first week, I questioned myself. Well maybe I can just stay here. It would have been okay to stay there. There was nothing wrong with staying there. But it wasn’t what I wanted. But transferring meant I’d have to work my ass off and become vulnerable to another rejection.
But for the first time in my life, I was brave. I put myself first, and I worked harder than I ever had before. And when the success came, my life changed. It was terrifying, rewarding, and everything I’d hoped it’d be.
I didn’t think about failing when I started Blush. I didn’t think about failing when I set out to publish the book. I just did it because it was what I wanted. I didn’t let the thoughts in.
I love the tattoo idea! And I agree that you can't let fear paralyze you. You have to just go out there and do what you want and don't look back. Right out of college, I didn't think I could pass the CPA exam so I didn't even try. Fast forward a few years later and ALOT of studying, I aced it. You never know what you're capable of unless you try.
P.S. I recognize that sunset!
Friend, you are much braver than you know! Keep going and pushing through any part of you that says anything negative, because it's just a bunch of hooey! You're a balla, shot-calla 😉 Love you!
you are such an inspiration to us all to pursue that one scary thing we've always wanted to do. to let go of fear. kudos, my friend.
I know what you mean. I'm in the very, very, very beginning stages of something that could be big and realistically if I fail, nobody has to know. If I succeed, everything changes. And I've never really been good with change.
You are incredibly brave, don't ever doubt that about yourself!
I totally know the feeling. I've been hanging out working and I know I am smarter than what my jobs have been. I've finally pulled the trigger on taking my GRE and applying to grad schools. The other day I got so overwhelmed my poor Fitbit said my heartrate was at an average of 98 the entire day. But it's true, sometimes you just need to take the plunge and go for it. I've actually been thinking of getting a cursive "Fear" on my wrist to remind me that sometimes I need to embrace my fear of what may come and just push forward.
You are so brave gurlie, don't be afraid! And loving the tattoo idea – you've got this *hugs*.
Green Fashionista
Yes girl – you miss out on 100% of the chances you don't take!! (cliche but true) xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
I completely understand being afraid of success. I share in this fear.
Thank you for sharing this, love. It is something I needed to read!!!!!!!!
I suppose once the stakes get higher, the possibility of failure becomes more disastrous. I am definitely not a person who pushes themselves forwards, and I think this is probably the reason why. Which is so silly, really. I think I need a brave tattoo too!
I was talking about this recently with my Bible study girls. Sometimes we're so afraid of what could possibly happen bad in the future, that we don't jump, we just sit complacently. We need to move forward without fear and trusting that God knows what's best for us. P.S. I think you should get the tattoo 🙂
As always, such an honest and inspiring post. Definitely something I think we can all relate to!
xoxo
Kat 🙂
i love the idea of getting brave tattooed 🙂 both of my tattoos have meanings like that to me and they are super, well, meaningful. i think i can get afraid of success because then the chances of failure are higher as well, if that makes sense. but you are totally brave girl, all the time or not doesn't matter. if it's in you, it's in you 😉
This is such a great post! It is so hard deciding to take the plunge. I struggle with it so much but for me, the fear of rejection is usually the worst part. Congratulations on being brave! Hope you find the courage to make the change you want! It seems like they have always paid off for you! Awesome!
xo
Annie- All Things Big And Small
This is such a great post! It is so hard deciding to take the plunge. I struggle with it so much but for me, the fear of rejection is usually the worst part. Congratulations on being brave! Hope you find the courage to make the change you want! It seems like they have always paid off for you! Awesome!
xo
Annie- All Things Big And Small
You are so brave, friend!
Oh fear. Good old fear prevents us from so much. I've found myself just ignoring those voices telling me to go for it or telling me to stop because it just becomes too much to process when you're trying to live daily life.
This. Is. So. Good. Just jump. Also, I'm totally on board with that tiny tattoo idea. Do it!