by Joey | Sep 22, 2017 | Real Life
Can I tell you something? Until very recently, I thought I was stupid. I don’t say that to be dramatic; I actually believed it. I just thought okay, well, people get dealt a hand in life, and mine just didn’t have anything special in it. That’s okay, I’ll just be the nice girl.
I’m embarrassed to admit that. Of course I am. I’m not 100% sure where that thought theory came from, but I can bet a myriad of situations and encounters are to blame. And I’m also willing to bet that I’m not the only person who has ever felt that way. Tell me I’m wrong. Are there things that you want that you immediately dismiss? Telling yourself that only other people get to have those things? That only other people get to do those things?
I often think about that Albert Einstein quote…
Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on his ability to climb a tree, it will live its entire life believing it is stupid.
#me
My husband locked his keys in his car this afternoon. When he called for a rescue, I was in the middle of hammering out the final details on a project for work, so he had to wait. When we finally got home after he pried his way into his car with a coat hanger, we caught each other up on our days over cheeseburgers. I buzzed as I filled him in on the projects I’m working on–discussing proposals and content calendars and the cool people Myra and I get to work with on a daily basis. And in that moment, it hit me.
I did this, I said to him.
He nodded as if to say of course you did.
The this I’m referring to here is my job. Fact is, my week was absolutely manic. Probably the busiest to date in Bliss existence. And this whole company, all of this work, came from a tiny little nagging idea in the back of my head a couple years ago.
I think you can.
God’s tiny little whisper was hard to ignore. Instead of dismissing myself, I started dismissing the doubt, the voice telling me I couldn’t have the things I wanted. I started to ask myself why not me? There was no proof that Myra and I could pull this thing off. There were no hard and fast facts that I could present to Myra when I asked her to go in on this business with me…this wild and crazy idea that initially would only cost us money.
But every person I thought would doubt me instead told me I think you can. And I didn’t realize until those words slipped their lips how desperately I needed the validation; someone to help drown out the false reality I’d created for myself.
So hear me when I say to you, I think you can. Whatever it is you want to do, I think you can do it. In fact, let me help you do it. Because there’s nothing in this life that you can’t have if you work for it.
So, what do you want?
Do you think you can do it?
I think you can.
by Joey | Aug 15, 2017 | Advice, Real Life
Oh, hi. It’s been a minute, huh? I guess I have some explaining to do. That’s kind of the whole point of this post, if I’m being honest. Self-help books made me stop blogging. Okay, that’s dramatic. But…it’s actually kind of the truth.
I was once a relatively balanced person who always prioritized the things that made me feel like myself. Reading, spending time with friends, watching TV, painting my nails, you name it. But, somewhere along the way, I decided I wasn’t good enough.
My life wasn’t good enough.
I wasn’t smart enough.
…productive enough.
…challenging myself enough.
So, I did what I do best. I started seeking information. Learning, growing, changing. When this is done right, when it’s done in a healthy way, it can be incredible. But for me? It was the start of an ugly addiction.
I could always be better, learn more, perfect.
And soon, I edged out all the things that once made me me to be a better version of a me who doesn’t make time for anything other than better.
I forfeited enjoyment.
I structured myself into a dull box full of inadequate feelings that only encouraged my perfection addiction.
I’ll admit it, the fear of starting a business is what sent me down the self-help rabbit hole. I was so afraid that someone was going to expose me for what I really was: someone who was just figuring it all out one day at a time. As a business owner, that freaked me out. Not knowing was unacceptable to me. I had to have all the answers. Everything had to be perfect! I’d spend hours absorbing new information and learning new skills only to then turn around and deliver new creative for the biz. That would have been enough, maybe even healthy. Learning and using new skills is a great thing.
But then I’d spend hours, sometimes days obsessing over it. That’s when the negative self talk would creep in. I could have done that better. Maybe I should have approached it like this person. OMG this business is offering the same services and they must be better than us and I should just give up.
So then I’d turn to self-help.
Freaking out as an entrepreneur is NORMAL. I knew this! So I turned to all those people like me, those brave little creatives, for some sound advice.
Find confidence!
Always do your best!
It’s okay to fail, that means you’re trying!
Always be learning.
Hustle. Hustle. HUSTLE!
Sacrfice. Sacrfice. Sacrifice.
CYCLE REPEAT.
Full, but empty.
I’d hustle from the moment my eyes opened until the second my head hit the pillow. If I couldn’t give something my best, it got scrapped. If something wasn’t serving the overall purpose of reaching my goals, it got scrapped. If something could be defined as a waste of time, gone it went.
I stopped reading books for fun. My manuscript sat untouched. This blog grew cobwebs. I stopped being Joey because Joey wasn’t good enough.
My life was so full. I was doing big, exciting, risky things often. And don’t get me wrong–that makes me feel so alive! But somewhere along the way, I drained myself of my creativity and personality. I was a slave to perfection.
[ctt template=”8″ link=”6×110″ via=”no” ]My head felt full, but my heart was empty.[/ctt]
It’s ok to chase your dreams. In fact, do it! Fill your head with what you need to know and constantly be learning. Just don’t let any of that strip you of the person you once were.
As bloggers fell off the bandwagon over the years, I always claimed that would never be me because writing is just part of who I am. Now, I get that I own and run a business that has me writing literally all day. But this space, these words? They’re mine, all mine. And without it, without them, I slowly started to disappear.
My business is hugely important to me. And I will always want it to be the best it can be. But I have to remember that it was this little space that even made that business possible. All of my dream-come-true moments root back to blogging.
Over the last few years, I’ve put entirely too much pressure on this space. I forced it into something it was never meant to be: a job. I love the opportunities blogging brings my way, and I’ll always be down for a fun collaboration. But this space was never intended to be just that: a money maker.
Self-help taught me I could do anything but paralyzed me into silence.
So I’m brushing off the cobwebs and setting out to reclaim my voice.
::clears throat::
Hi, I’m Joey.
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