We eliminated screens for our toddler; here’s what happened

by Joey | Apr 2, 2024 | Mom stuff

We’re a TV family. Even when it was just me and my husband, the TV was pretty much always on, whether someone was watching it or not. So when Jdubs came into the picture, we didn’t really ever consider limiting screen time. He loved music and dancing, so we did a lot of those dancing vegetables at first, then came Miss Rachel and a whole slew of Disney movies (especially Frozen 1 & Frozen 2. That then graduated to the Toy Story movies). He loved it and we didn’t see a problem with it.

Until we did.

Eliminating screen time for our toddler | Why we did it

We only have one child, and as an anxious first-time mom, I kept our routine pretty limited. He went to daycare for the first year of his life and I pulled him when I started working from home in the fall of 2022. We didn’t go to many restaurants or story times or really any kind of organized, structured play events. Again, anxious first time introverted mom. We spent a lot of time with other adults in controlled environments.

And then he went to preschool in the fall of 2023. Some things were brought to our attention, but things didn’t really click until early this year. As a first time mom who wasn’t spending much time around other toddlers, I just excused certain things away as normal crazy toddler behavior. Which let me make something clear — it is. All of it is.

But our kiddo was having a seriously difficult time with sitting still, attention span (which, again, he’s a toddler — what are we really expecting here?) and other disruptive behaviors.

It wasn’t until someone mentioned that certain behaviors seem to be triggered by stimulation did things click into place for me. Once that was said, we immediately made the call. No. More. Screens.

Initially, it was going to be a short-term detox to determine if it was really having any significant impact on our son and his behavior. And then it turned into something so much more.

Initially, I hesitated to eliminate screens for our 2 year old

I’m a full-time work from home stay at home mom to a crazy toddler. Screens, as much as it sucks to admit this, were completely necessary for survival. Or so I thought.

I couldn’t imagine a world where I could actually get my work done and not have a toddler climbing all over me.

I thought it would be too hard. I’m embarrassed to admit that because as a parent I realize I should be willing to do whatever is necessary to help our kid thrive. But I also needed to be present for work and just didn’t know how I would ever make it work.

That’s why I never even considered going screen-free until the pieces clicked into place that the trouble he was having at child care could be linked to the screens. The problem now, though, was I went from having some help during the work week to none…

AND I was going to be eliminating screens? Jesus, take the wheel.

Things we did to make eliminating screen time for our toddler easier

Pinterest and TikTok became my best friend. The good thing is, if there’s one thing I’m really great at it’s obsessively researching something I’m anxious about. And I found a plethora of information. Here’s what we did.

Toy Rotation

Like the TV always being on, the kiddo had access to every single toy he owns all the time. Our house is small and my organizational skills still need some work, so random pieces to random toys would be tossed quickly into any bin nearby as I would race through the house like a tornado to get it puppy-proofed before leaving the house. This meant two things: 1. The clutter was overwhelming, and not just for the tot. 2. Jdubs wasn’t ever really playing with any of the toys properly because he would flit around from one thing to another and nothing was ever put back in the proper place.

I didn’t think I had toy organization and rotation in me, if I’m being completely honest. I’m just not that kind of mom. But when it’s something that’s going to help my kid? Well wouldn’t you know… as a mom you’ll do just about anything. Even organizing all of their toys to the nth degree.

I started by pulling everything out, grouping them by “like kind.” From there, I collected random bins from around the house and decided okay, music toys will go in this bin, vehicles in this one — so on and so forth.

The next big task was…cleaning out his closet. This had become a bit of a dumping ground over the years, so it was kind of a nightmare project. But one determined afternoon, I managed to get the job done. Closet cleared completely, it was time to get to labeling and storing.

I took the organized labeled bins and made sure to place them in his closet in a way that would be easy for me to access. I know myself well enough to know that if I make something difficult for myself, I’m not going to keep up with the system and it’ll all be a waste. This would serve as my “shopping center” for toy rotation.

From there, I decided on a bit of a system. In rotation, he’d always have:

• One larger vehicle he could play make believe with (we have a few buses, fire trucks, this dump truck, you get the idea). A big hit in this house is this vehicle hauler truck and the mini vehicles that come with it.
• One “complete” toy — this usually involves this toolbox (it has a working drill!!!! It’s a big hit in this house), this toy sorter, this color sorting activity or Mr. Potato Head
• Some type of mess-free craft activity like an aqua-art book, an aqua-doodle mat or a reusable sticker book (we like this one, this one and this one)
• A handful of various smaller cars (no more than 5) — never under estimate a child’s ability to find a way to entertain themselves with vehicles.
• One type of “building” toy like these blocks, magnatiles or legos

We have a collection of random toys that don’t fit into any of these categories, like this robot, this penguin and turtle that interact with one another, a barn with accessories, musical instruments, this garage, etc. I typically include one of these toys in the rotation as well.

I *try* to rotate his toys every 2 weeks or so. I’ve gone as long as a month before. I thought I’d do it more frequently, but I was actually very surprised how interested he remained in the toys that he had out. There were two very unexpected benefits to introducing toy rotation: 1) He plays with the toys as they are meant to be played with and 2) Clean up is a breeeeeeze — for me and for him. Often times, I just have to tell him it’s time to clean up and he’s able to put everything away in its proper place without any guidance. HECK YEAH!

Sensory Bins & other tricks

Ok, real talk? The idea of a sensory bin and sensory play in general sounded kind of nightmarish to this mess-adverse control fanatic. (I know this makes me sound awful, but it’s the truth about how I felt.) But I knew, without screens, I would need a few tricks up my sleeves to buy a few pockets of time, especially during the times I had meetings.

The best news is: you can DIY pretty much any type of sensory bin, which I did for all of them except the kinetic sand bin to keep them extremely affordable.

There’s other really good news, too. They actually work. The kiddo is obsessed with them. The mess is usually pretty easy to clean up. (I also learned I’d rather clean up a mess happily with a satisfied toddler than battle him over nonsense.)

These are kept away. I’ll be honest and tell you that at this point he knows they all exist, and he does ask for them occasionally. But usually, I’ll suggest that we do one, especially if we’re in the midst of a particularly difficult toddler moment or when I need to buy some focused work time. I will be honest here — toddlers do best when you’re engaging with them. I will usually start the activity with him, setting him up at the kitchen table or at his little table next to the kitchen table. I will then transition to working (at the kitchen table). But please know, they will likely request your participation or assistance. I’m lucky that my job understands that I come with a tiny side kick — and I’m sure not all toddlers are the same — but I just wanted to put this out there in case there are any other WFH SAHMs in here who are desperately seeking some distraction-free work time.

Regardless, sensory bins are an excellent way to fill time. And they’ve been a huge hit in this house. These are the ones we use:

• Kinetic Sand Sensory Bin
• I made a water sensory bin using these cups and these bath toys
• I made a bean sensory bin using lima beans and various cups/containers I had around the house. Two that are the biggest hit are an empty 20 oz soda bottle and an empty Coffeemate creamer container
• Play doh kits, we like this one and this one (which is a great and affordable starter kit)

I will also occasionally either DIY a fun activity for him to wake up to (I once created an entire road in our front room using painters tape — he LOVED that and it kept him busy for dayyyysssss) or if someone gifts us a new toy, I’ll tuck it away to bring out at a special time to fill some time.

Optimize our outdoor space

We’re lucky that we have a huge, fenced-in backyard. It’s actually the thing that sold us this house. We also have a covered portion to the front of our house. So, we decided to put those spaces to good use.

We made a DIY sandbox for the front of our house (covered) using an old kiddie pool that one of our neighbors kindly gave us and bags of sand from the local hardware store. We added dollar store dinosaurs and construction trucks along with various other sand toys that we had laying around. (We live at a lake, so those we have in plenty.)

In the backyard, we have a swing, a water table, bubble machine, sports equipment and a racetrack (similar to this one). I’m dying to add one of these rollercoasters.

I have a kid who would spend his entire life outside if we’d let him. Keep in mind, when we initially eliminated screens, it was the dead of winter. He didn’t care. He still wanted to be outside. So we bundled up and headed out.

Take advantage of local free activities

We approached our days differently. I started looking at them in blocks of time, and that’s where local free activities helped tremendously. Libraries and other local agencies tend to put on fun, free kid-centered events throughout the month. We also started taking advantage of library story times (we have two libraries close to us – and we started attending both – one on Mondays and one on Thursdays — that’s a super easy way to add an activity to those days).

We also enrolled in a local program that offers a free pre-school type class. Parents are required to attend, so this isn’t a childcare situation — but it is a great way to dip our toes back into a classroom setting, help our son learn the structure of a classroom, engage with other kiddos and fill some time.

We do lots of walks in different gardens, trails and parks in the area.

Playgrounds. Lots and lots of playgrounds. I would recommend you take a chunk of time and research all the ones in your area, plan to visit them all, then make a rotation of your favorites. I’ve learned I prefer fenced-in playgrounds, smaller, less crowded places and playgrounds geared more towards toddlers or accessibility (which mean the equipment is closer to the ground).

Lean on music. A lot.

Begging to watch Cars? Okay! Let’s listen to the soundtrack. Begging for Blippi? Okay, let’s listen to the soundtrack. Asking for Bluey? Okay! Let’s listen to the soundtrack. Having an Alexa in a main part of the house was critical for us in eliminating screens. It eventually switched from him asking to watch a show to asking for the music instead. This also made for a lot of fun dance parties and deeeeefinitely helped with his language.

Benefits of eliminating screen time for a toddler | changes we experienced

So this is the part you’re really interested in, I know. Because it’s the part I was interested in when I was first toying with the idea. Because going screen-free seems like a lot of work, and I wanted to know if it was worth it.

If you’re looking for the simple answer to the question: yes. What initially started as a simple, short-term detox has now remained 10 weeks later.

It is a lot of work at first. But the change in his behavior made me realize something: it’s either a lot of work to set us up for a successful day with a (mostly — he’s still a toddler after all) pleasant toddler OR it’s a lot of work to battle the tiny human all. day. long. That was the most radical shift in how we experienced our days once screens were eliminated.

Changes we saw in our toddler when we eliminated screens:

*Major disclaimer: he is still a toddler little boy. He’s not perfect and no toddler is going to be — please continue to give yourself and your child grace.

• He pays attention. He went from a kid who couldn’t sit still ever to being able to slow down and purposefully engage with a particular setting. This was especially apparent in the class we go to each week. Before eliminating screens, getting him to and keeping him in circle time was nearly impossible. Now, he goes at the first cue. He may still wander off occasionally, but our biggest issue now is keeping him in his seat because he wants to get closer to whatever the teacher is presenting because he’s that locked in. Major shift. 
• Everything slowed down. He takes more time with things now, especially when it comes to figuring something out. He’ll give it a lot more tries before getting frustrated and giving up. Our activities are slower paced in general, too, and he’s learned to lock in and be engaged with the activity. The biggest change I saw here is his ability to lock in on a book. Whether we’re reading it to him or he picks it up to flip through himself, he’ll spend time with it now. Before, it was nearly impossible to get him to pay attention to a book, one way or the other. Another epic shift is his ability to sit in a cart at a store. This was impossible and embarrassing before we eliminated screens. I’d see other kids sitting pleasantly in a store while mine was flailing and screaming. Now, going to the store is one of our favorite ways to eat up an afternoon. I even purposefully have one of our grocery trips be an inside-the-store trip now instead of fully relying on pickup orders.
• Less tantrums. I’m not sure if this is a direct result of lack of screens or the fact that we spend more intentional time together throughout the day (which fills his little toddler heart), but his mood in general is better. Transitions are easier. Leaving the playground in the past used to be an epic battle. Now it’s “Okay, it’s time to go. Bye bye playground” and he’ll repeat “bye bye playground” while waving and coming with me to the car. There are even times where all I have to do is say “Okay, it’s time to go,” and he’ll wave and say goodbye to the playground on his own.
• Language exploded. He was borderline speech delayed. We had him evaluated twice and both times there were particular concerns with his speech development. Eliminating screens eradicated that issue. I was absolutely shocked. The results were almost immediate. And honestly, I think this 100% boils down to the fact that without the television on, we are having more intentional conversation throughout the day. He picked up works and started stringing sentences together within just a few days of the televisions being turned off. This was one of our most monumental shifts.

Final verdict: Where are we now & was eliminating screens for our toddler worth it?

When we started this journey, like I mentioned, it was supposed to be a short-term thing to help us diagnose issues. The initial set up was a lot of work, I’m not going to lie. But that was the hardest part. Once we had things organized and a bit of a system in place, going screen-free was a lot easier than I expected.

It was so easy, in fact, that when the two weeks were up, we just sort of…kept it going.

We eventually discussed if, when and where we want to reintroduce screens. And we have sort of. We now use screens as a very limited but powerful tool in certain circumstances. For instance, I came down with the flu a few weeks ago and my husband couldn’t be home from work the whole time — screens came in handy in that time. I will also note, however, that we do see a shift in his behavior when we go a little too heavy on them. The week I was sick, the tv was on a lot (relative in comparison to the tv always being on like it was before — but certainly a lot more than not at all). We paid the consequence for that in the days afterward.

But a half hour show while I’m trying to get dinner made without a toddler standing between me and the counter, pushing me backwards? POWERFUL TOOL. I have also noticed that because screens are now a treat, they capture his attention much more purposefully. He’ll sit with a snack and watch an entire program (we like Little Einsteins & Bluey) without getting distracted.

Most days, we’re still entirely screen-free. I find that all of us reach for something else for entertainment instead of our first instinct being to grab the remote or demanding a show.

And now that the weather is improving, he mostly asks to be outside, which is fine with me.

Was eliminating screens for our toddler worth it? Absolutely. 1000%. The changes we have seen have completely overhauled how we experience our days and he learns so much. Plus, we get to share far more meaningful little moments throughout the day.

I do still think that screens, when used correctly, have their place and are also a very powerful learning tool. But the days of the television always being on are a thing of the past.

If you’re considering the change, know this: Yes, it’s a lot of work. But I promise you can do it and it will be worth it. The first few days may be hard, but the change does come. If you need moral support in while in the trenches, I’m here for you!

Let me know below if you’re screen-free, if you’re planning to go screen-free or what your main hesitation for going screen-free is. I’d love to discuss all of this in the comments below!