What do you want?

by | Dec 31, 2017 | Devotional Series, Joyful by Design | 4 comments

On paper, I had everything I could have wanted in 2017. We moved into a new house, my business was thriving, and Things Looked Good. The thing is, though, 2017 wasn’t good to me. But it was good for me. I learned you can get everything you want and still be empty. But most unexpectedly, something happened in 2017 that changed me. Wrecked me.

I was lost. A lost I’ve never experienced before. Imagine the confusion: I have it all. Everything I prayed for, I got. And still, my soul was tired and dead. And yet, I kept praying the same prayer, stubborn in my own desires. Surely these blessings meant I was right. God wouldn’t give these things to me if I were on the wrong path. But the funny thing is,  you can get everything you want and find out it’s not what you want at all.

Sometimes, you have to see the grass for yourself to understand that it’s not actually greener.

There was a lot of pain in my year. There were things that happened that hurt me to my very core; things I couldn’t possibly understand at the time. But it was in those experiences that I started to understand God’s love and grace. Something happened early on in the year that rocked me and closed a very important chapter in my life. It’s something I clung to and kept running back to any time things got hard. And in a very big, very obvious way, God removed it from my life. With the lifeboat gone, I had to figure things out in a whole new way.

I came to the end of myself. I was tired and confused and totally out of answers.
I had to rely on God and the talents He gave me like I never had before.
God pursued me hard. And I let Him.

As this year came to a close, I did a lot of reflecting to figure out what it is that I actually want. We let ourselves get so caught up in what society tells us we should want that sometimes it’s hard to really answer that question. But really, what do you want?

You can do anything you want to do. I mean that. You can literally do anything. The problem is, we get caught up in what everyone else is doing and how they are doing it. Social media doesn’t help things. Instead of using it as a means to connect, we use it as a tool in which to measure success. We stop chasing our dreams because someone else is already doing it, and they’re probably doing it better–according to you, anyway. We worry if people are going to judge us. We worry about failing. We worry about looking stupid.

It takes confidence to go after what you really want. And if you’re anything like me, you’re full of self-doubt and the belief that you aren’t good enough. But God gave me a mantra as a gift this year that I’ll be forever grateful for, and I want to share that gift with you: God gave you your talents. God put those passions into your heart so you would go off and do something with them. God doesn’t make crap. And doubting yourself, doubting your talents, doubting your passion is an insult to God.

Take some time to reflect on what it is that you really want and decide to just do it. Don’t worry so much about the how. Don’t get caught up in being the best right out of the gates. Let yourself start and grow and learn.

I’ve always been a writer. The desire has always burned deep in my soul for as long as I can remember. I’ve always wanted to make people feel good, to find worth in themselves, to feel encouraged. And I’ve always been passionate about how powerful words can be.

So here I am.
Doing it.

What do you want?

 

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4 Comments

  1. It is like you are speaking to my heart. Here’s to 2018

    Reply
  2. I pray the Lord makes 2018 your best year yet!!! <3

    Reply
  3. It’s so important to look back and reflect on the previous year! I hope you have a wonderful 2018.

    Reply
  4. There are definitely a million tiny things everyday that can talk you out of all those dreams you’ve thought up for yourself… and probably even more if you let social media help you dig for them. Do you even remember what life was like before all of that? I definitely don’t, but I’m ready to! lol Good post Joe. I’ve missed you, friend. 😘

    Reply

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HI, I'M JOEY

Mama, indie author, wife, believer and friend.

My only hope is that while you’re here, you feel a sense of belonging, comfort and empowerment. Because life is too short to live it worried you’re not good enough.

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