I trust God. When it all boils down at the end of a hard day, a rough week, or a tough year, I trust God.
2015 ended with me enthusiastically shouting to anyone who would listen 2016 IS GOING TO BE MY YEAR! I was so convinced of it, it had to be! 2015 was a hard year. It started with everything crumbling down around me. My husband had just lost his job. That job was all that sustained us. It provided the house we lived in, our health insurance, and our only source of income at the time. And suddenly, poof. Gone. Just like that. Despite the uncertainty and overwhelming all consuming fear of the unknown, there was a peace within my soul. I couldn’t be bothered to be stressed. I made the conscious decision to put it on God. He’d handle it because I couldn’t.
And He did.
But handling it moved us to Charlotte. My husband wasn’t able to get a job in his field (on the field, har har har), and I’d been primarily out of work for two years. Okay, yes, I’d been writing and I published the book, but I hadn’t been employed. That kind of matters sometimes. Somehow, when all our football options kept coming up short, I landed a job in a matter of three days. Bada bing, bada boom, we were moving back to Charlotte baby.
Our prayers had been answered, but the year continued to be hard.
We were faced with challenge after challenge. It seemed we’d never catch a break. So as the year came to a close, I promised myself I’d make 2016 my year. Whatever that meant.
Eleven days into 2016, my dad died. My husband was dealing with uncertainty at his job once again. And I found myself suffocating underneath the pressure the year placed on my shoulders only a few months in. I crumbled. Before I could find a reason not to, I stood across from my boss, a sobbing mess, confessing to her that I just couldn’t do it all anymore. I couldn’t be everything to everyone. I’d lost myself. I’d lost God. I’d lost.
On May 3rd, I turned in my 30 day notice.
I was going to fix 2016.
It was supposed to be my year, after all.
Without much of a plan, and only a few months worth of expenses in savings, I put faith in myself. Failing wasn’t an option at that point. Myra and I started developing Bliss in February. Loosely conceptualizing how this business might actually work in real life. On June 20th, we launched.
For the last six months, God took a year that started off horribly and made it my year. As things have played out over the last six months, the first six started to make more sense. Only He knows His plans for us, but as things start to unfold, trust me when I say every step of your journey starts to fit into your story perfectly. Without the hardships, you wouldn’t have the blessings.
As 2016 kicked off, one horrible thing after another, I still held out hope. Because I trust God.
With only three weeks left in the year that was meant to be mine,
I can say with full confidence: