Being patient & having faith #ThanksgiveUP
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, be prayerful and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
Leaving my steady day job to pursue using my gifts and talents daily has been the most wonderful but hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve worked harder, cried harder, and been more scared in the last five months than ever before. With the successes we’ve weathered the failures. We’ve faced months without an income. Month after month, I’ve watched my savings drain.
And yet the conviction is in my heart that I’m doing the right thing. Be patient is constantly being whispered in my ear. Have faith. Trust.
I spent Saturday full of anxiety, pounding out work for the biggest project I’ve ever worked on in my life (yes, even bigger than my book). I felt worried about money. Scared about failing. And worst of all, I worried what if after it’s all said and done I’m really just a fraud, pretending? What if all the wires got crossed, and I wasn’t actually meant to leave my job? What if I’ve been selfish? What if it’s time to go back to a soul-sucking day job?
I woke up Sunday morning energized. I’d worked faithfully through my Saturday, and I was pleased with the results. The fear was still in my heart somewhere, but it no longer consumed me. And as I sat in church, they played a playful song meant to be silly and energize the crowd.
It takes a little time sometimes
but baby you’re not going down.
It takes more than you’ve got right now
give it, give it time.
Amy Grant
I know it was no mistake. The reminder I desperately needed was being served to me on a silver platter. God had lifted the worry from my heart overnight, and designed the service to speak to me, remind me, reassure me.
Earlier in the week, I met with Zack from CLTivate to brainstorm content, strategy, and his holiday marketing efforts. I enjoy those meetings so much because it’s where I feel I’m most helpful. I can see the difference Bliss is making in CLTivate week after week, and it serves as a weekly reminder that this is what I’m called to do.
We came up with #ThanksgiveUP for his holiday campaign, encouraging all of you to give something up for 2017 that’s getting in your way. You can read more about the campaign here, and I’d really encourage all of you to participate. He’s doing awesome, meaningful work, and he could really use your support.
Saturday morning, my friend asked what I was going to give up, but I didn’t have an answer for her.
As service closed out on Sunday with the verse from above:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, be prayerful and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6
My answer came to me. I’m giving up. I’m giving it all up. I’m giving up my self-doubt. I’m giving up my insecurities. I’m giving up my worry and anxieties. I’m giving it all up to God.
At the end of 2014, I opened my porch door to a broken husband, let go from the job that sustained us. Everything we were, everything we had, relied on that job. And in an instant, it was gone. In that moment, without question or hesitation, I made the decision to put it all on God. That was so unlike me; I’m a flawed believer. But I knew on my own, I was not strong enough to endure what we were about to face.
I was not strong enough for the anxiety and worry that would inevitably follow. So I put it on God, and He never let us down.
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
Hillsong United
