The Truth Behind My Feelings of Inadequacy

I’m going to be really honest here. Until recently, I didn’t think I was worth all that much. That might be a harsh thing to admit, but if I felt that way, chances are someone else does, too. And I think it’s important for me to share this story if that’s the case.

Inadequate. That would be the one word I would use to sum up my total teenage and young adult existence. I was never the prettiest. I was never the smartest. And I most certainly wasn’t the most successful. In the great game of comparison, I came up shit every. single. time.

I accepted that life, that role. It never occurred to me to challenge it. Not good enough.

I started seeing other people doing the things I wanted. That only fueled the downward spiral. How come they could have those things but I couldn’t?

Until one morning I just woke up and thought, no. This isn’t going to be my life anymore. The limitations I felt weren’t real. They didn’t actually exist. They were all in my head, perceptions developed into a false reality. The only reason I couldn’t have the things I wanted was because I wasn’t doing the things I wanted.

Did your world just shatter?
What you want honestly has nothing to do with anyone else. If someone is already doing it, cool. If someone isn’t, great. I often have fraudy feelings around everything I’m doing because those other people are legit, and I’m just some girl on the internet with a computer.
Confidence comes from doing. I’ve had a lot of people tell me I’ve changed the last few years, and that’s very true. I’m no longer insecure or inadequate. I still have feelings of doubt every single day, but I don’t allow them to stop me from anything. The more I do, the better I feel.
I have a lot of theories about why I spent a majority of my life selling myself short, but they really don’t matter. The only part that matters is that I let it happen. And I was the only person who could change it. 
I gave a lot of people the power to determine my worth, everyone but myself. It was only when I took the control back into my own hands that I started to feel worthy of anything. I believe I’m the happiest when I’m being challenged, when I’m learning and growing.
I felt that way with the book, and I feel that way now with the business. Those things don’t define me, no. But it was in the journey of the doing that I learned who I was and what I was actually capable of. And there, I found my worth.

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  1. Jen

    July 28, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    I'm guilty of the same thing! I am notorious for selling myself short, but I refuse to do that anymore.

  2. Nadine Lynn

    July 28, 2016 at 4:10 pm

    I love this. I certainly get in the way of my own success. I know that with 100% certainty. Now that I can recognize that, maybe I can do something about it!

  3. The Girl who Loved to Write

    July 28, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    99 percent positive that you and I are the same person.

  4. Kristin

    July 29, 2016 at 4:08 am

    We're the only ones who can change ourselves. I think having that much power intimidates us. Like, if I can change whenever, why now? Or, we're afraid of where it'll take us.

  5. Kristen @ See You In A Porridge

    August 5, 2016 at 3:25 pm

    good for you girl. a boss once told me, after he asked if i thought i deserved a raise and i stammered and stuttered and couldn't answer, he told me if i put a small value on myself, why would anyone else raise my price? why would anyone else increase my value when i didn't even see value in myself? it stuck with me.
    anyway. i'm happy for you girl. life is too short to sell yourself short.

  6. Elizabeth

    August 13, 2016 at 4:42 am

    I really struggle with that fraudy feeling too! And it had kept me from pursuing things that I'm interested in. You have been one of my inspirations to follow my dreams and not cut myself off even before I start.

  7. ChemEngrDiva

    August 14, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    I absolutely felt that way with my writing too. That's why for so long, I didn't do anything about getting a book published. And then one day, I started reading some inspirational words from some other people and it knocked some sense into me. The only reason I'm not getting the results i want is because I haven't been doing the actions that would lead to those results.
    It took me a long time but when I finally published my book, it was the best feeling ever.
    Thanks for sharing this right here. I needed to read this again because I'm working on my second book now.

  8. Elle Sees

    August 15, 2016 at 10:24 am

    I'm glad you've realized your self-worth! This sounds like an amazing realization for you!!! Here's to more positive things to come.

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