I’ve been secretly using my husband’s toothbrush for weeks because I keep forgetting to buy one.

Let me make something clear. I needed a change. I wanted a change. I did not inherit any money. I wasn’t handed a golden opportunity on a silver platter. My husband does not make boatloads of money. I assessed the risks, put a little faith in my abilities, and I jumped.

I have no funding. Hell, I don’t even have health insurance at this exact moment. Things look dreamy from the outside because as scary as all of this is, it feels dreamy and I’m radiating that, I know this. But if I’m going to do this, I want to be extremely transparent in order not to perpetuate this idea that good things only happen to certain people.

Good things happen to people who work their effing asses off.

And that can be you, too.

I just don’t want there to be some kind of misinformation that the stars lined up, allowing me to quit my job and pursue my dreams. That is so very far from the truth. In fact, quitting my job wasn’t easy for me. And it wasn’t some grand display of bravery, quite the opposite, actually. It was me standing across from my boss dissolving into a puddle of tears.

Because the only truth here is that I wasn’t happy. I’ve been through hell and back in the last year, doing my best to be as strong as possible for everyone else, trying to be the glue that kept so many pieces together. So instead of breaking, I shattered.

The only thing I could control in that situation was my job. The only person I could control in that situation was me. And crazy as it sounds, we often struggle to make decisions that will serve us and only us.

I am a people pleaser, a servant at heart. Qualities that are good until they destroy you. Because if you forget to throw yourself into the mix, ensuring that through your service you are also bringing yourself pleasure, everything crumbles.

And everything crumbled.

I do not have my life together. All I did was make a decision to try. I don’t want this journey to seem rosy, discounted as easy or unfair. I fear there are already too many people online pretending that success and happiness floated over them in a glittery bubble, raining smiles down on them.

That doesn’t exist here.

I promise you this, as I trek my way through whatever it is that comes next, I’ll bring you along. And I’ll be honest.