This morning, I’m sitting in my tiny little office. My cup of coffee is too hot to sip on, a suitcase sits open on my bed waiting to be filled, and today is my last day in my twenties.
I spent the weekend in NYC. My husband surprised me with the trip to celebrate my 30th birthday, but it turned into much more.
In case you missed it, I quit my job. I’ve spent much of my adult life as a nanny, taking care of other people’s families. Struggling for my art. Important work, yes. Especially to those who have employed me. But the work wasn’t right for me.
I’m a dreamer, one who was often dismissed as I was growing up. Talking nonsense and making up stories, a wild creative at heart. So it should come as no surprise that Manhattan is my city. Those are my people.
And as I sat in the Gershwin Theatre on Saturday night nestled in between people who love me, words crashed in to my heart, simply defining this phase in my life.
I’m through accepting limits
because someone says they’re so.
It’s time to trust my instincts
close my eyes
and leap.
Many of you have asked what I’m doing. Why I’m doing it. And to be frank, I’m not sure I have a clear answer for you. Aside from a couple month’s rent in savings, a business that’s about ready to launch, and a million words floating around in my head waiting to hit the page, I don’t really know. It’s terrifying, but not as scary as seeing a future without any of this. And that’s where I was heading.
All of this came out of nowhere. A series of small catastrophes brought me here. I’m not sure where we’ll end up from here, but I do know I owe it to myself to leap. To try. To give it my all.
I spent my whole life up until now letting other people define me, never taking a stand for myself. We’re all much more powerful, more capable than we allow ourselves to believe.
We easily put faith in others, so certain of their capabilities. So I challenge you today, on my last day in my twenties, to put a little faith in yourself.
The struggles, the insecurities, they’re important, trust me. Little demons you have to face all on your own just to prove to yourself you can.
And you can.
Happy 30th birthday! Sounds like you're going to have some fun adventures ahead despite of the uncertainty but at least you're following your heart. Wishing you good luck.
Ahh your trip looked like such a dream and I can't imagine how excited you were to find out you were seeing Wicked on top of the trip in general 🙂 Cheers to a new decade with so many things to look forward to and dreams to accomplish 🙂
Happy 30th Birthday! And good for you for following your dreams. Great things are headed your way!
Happy 30th! And those words of Elphaba's truly resonate with me too…close your eyes and leap!!!
Happy early birthday, Joey!!! How sweet of your hubby to take you to NYC!! You go do YOU! 🙂
Those words!!! Those words are so powerful! I am so damn proud of you for taking those steps to make your dream happen and taking control of your life. Not settling. Girl, it is truly an inspiration and I wish you all the best in your new adventures. Also, I am standing here welcoming you to the 30's club with arms wide open. Happy Birthday, friend!!!!!
Happy Birthday, dear friend!
Welcome to the thirties!
And what a perfect time to change direction and go after what you want 🙂 So excited to see where it takes you!
Happy birthday! Congratulations on the new business venture! I'll be sure to follow your journey, if you continue to post on your blog. I'm back on bloglovin and I'm trying to market my husband's art and soon his book (exciting!) I know you're a self published author. So if you have any advise, please let me know. Estherdavison@gmail.com (sorry I'm still a "no-reply" blogger.) (Chomps says hi :))
Happy Birthday dear friend!!! I think your new business venture will be amazing.
What a sweet surprise from your hubby. I'm excited for this next chapter in your journey Joey!