It seems we are all slotted into a certain category early on in life, and we spend the rest of our lives trying to break free from that box. Because honestly, who likes to be boxed in?
I can no longer be considered a “young adult,” according to the definition offered by the Oxford Dictionary, but I’m still struggling with more than I’m proud to say at this stage of my life. Thirty is staring me in the face, and there is so much that I don’t have a grip on.
I naively created a 30 before 30 list when I was living in the Buies Creek bubble. We didn’t have much money, but I had all the time in the world to dream up dreams and explore my wants. Just two years later, that list would look a lot different.
The fact is, I didn’t think I’d still be in the figuring it out phase of my life at this point. Everything in our lives right now is transitory. I craved the escape from The Football Life to squash the feelings of impermanence, but it turns out the permanent is up to you.
And that’s where the decision fatigue sets in. What do you want people ask, and now the answer has to be much more practical, not a childhood fantasy of wishes. And while my wants are simple, the mistakes that litter our path seem impossible to surmount.
It’s in moments like these when the desire to make radical changes reminds me that everything starts with just one step at a time.
I’m standing on Start, spinning in a circle, incapable of making the choice of where to set my foot down first. What if I choose wrong? What if I make a mistake?
Mistakes these days don’t just leave someone with hurt feelings, remedied by a simple apology and an offer for a sleepover, they can alter your path.
But in the end, as Kathleen Shannon so profoundly stated, your path is your path mistakes and all. And while I can look back and pinpoint certain decisions that I may regret, they didn’t knock me off my path completely, they simply weighed me down, making the hike more exhausting.
I love that: "your path is your path". That phrase could definitely get me through the rough days.
You are not alone in this. My husband turns 30 tomorrow and he is going through this exact same thing, and so am I, to a lesser extent. In our eight years together, we have gone from being college students to young professionals to unemployed, then back to young professionals in an entirely different field. It's been exhausting and challenging. Now that we have moved back to SC, we are getting "so when are you guys having kids?" We are still trying to figure out if we event WANT them! Life just seems like one obstacle after another right now, but someday we'll look back and hopefully think it was all worth it!
I'm so with you on not thinking I'd still be in this transitional phase of life not knowing exactly what I want to do. But the reassuring thing to me is that the more people I talk to in their mid-late twenties are in the same place. Love 'decide & do' – straight forward, but perfect for what you have to do sometimes!
Joey, I've made a ton of mistakes in my life. I'm looking forward to a milestone birthday this year and I am tempted to just sit in a corner and cry until then because of all the time I've wasted not doing what I want or working towards the things I said were my goals. But you know, all of the experiences have made me who I am. And a few weeks ago, I published a book that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made some of the mistakes I did.
Going through hard stuff is a constant but we have to just embrace the moment and then maybe write a book about it later 🙂
Be well, my dear.
https://runwright.net
Next steps in my career weigh heavily on me these days. I get it.
Love the new site 🙂
love this 'your path is your path mistakes and all.' i think i'm always going to be in the figuring it out stage. i think that might be life. it is comforting to know others feel the same and i think sometimes we get tricked by other people who act like they have it together when they don't.