Time + Hard Work = Perspective

by | Feb 25, 2016 | Throwback | 14 comments

When my Camry died, I was knee deep in Yeah, Maybe revisions on a computer that was 7 years old and barely functioning.  Everyone was telling me I needed to get a car.  I decided it was more important to get a new computer.

So after Yeah, Maybe was published (that’s right, you guys, I published the book using a computer that would crash on me every 20 minutes–stop making excuses), I rewarded myself with a brand new Macbook Pro.  A huge investment for an unemployed writer, but it seemed more useful to me at the time than a new car.  I worked from home.  My husband’s job was less than a mile from our house.  Do you see what I mean?

Overtime, a car seemed a little more necessary.  My dad wasn’t driving much anymore, so my mom very kindly lent me hers.  It served its purpose nicely.  I mostly used it to travel to their house–something that was hugely necessary during The Great Tree Fight of 2014.

But then the rug got pulled out from under us.  We didn’t expect to leave Campbell.  We had no intentions of leaving our little (very inexpensive) house.  Meaning we had no plan.  Moves are expensive, especially when one of us hadn’t exactly been making a stable income for two years.

We entered 2015 scared silly.  We had no money.  No plan.  No prospects.  Nothing.  We relied heavily on God and family.  We trusted our instincts which took us to Charlotte.  We picked an apartment less than two miles from my job, where a car would be provided while I was at work.  I had it all worked out, I’d get a bike and uber to work when the weather was bad.

Don’t be ridiculous, my parents said.  The car is just sitting in the driveway.  Thank you.






The year continued.  We got knocked down a couple times.  We made mistakes.  We failed.  We started the year in last place and kept falling behind.  Y’all.  Shit. Was. Hard.

“The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.”
-T. Roosevelt
We stayed the course.  We stopped, backed up, tried again.  We kept pushing forward.  We stood up, face covered in mud, streaked by tears, and kept going.
I drove my mom’s car for the entirety of 2015: accepting the help that was offered, something my pride was allergic to.  But I couldn’t do it alone.  There’s nothing more sobering than looking at your life and realizing you can’t save yourself.
So when I was sitting in that dealership signing my life away a couple weeks ago, it was a reality check.  A life checkup, check in.   
Life is hard, friends.  And you’re going to hear no probably more than you’ll hear yes.  That doesn’t mean stop.  That doesn’t mean quit.  It means try again.

Life isn’t always this obvious, the glaring differences already between 2015 and 2016 are hard not to see.  But at some point, you’re going to be going through something hard.  That’s the way it goes, unfortunately.
Work hard.
Don’t stop.
Keep going.
It gets better.
You’ll earn better.
This morning, I got into my little car and drove to Starbucks to write this post on the computer that at one time I needed more than a car.  Then I packed up my stuff, got back into my car, and drove to work; the job that saved our 2015.
Keep going.
You’re doing okay.


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14 Comments

  1. So proud of you, friend!! <3

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  2. Perseverance! 🙂
    Seriously, you are a super star!

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  3. As a friend who talked to you often through gchat in the early 2015 days…I have to be honest and say no matter how scared and lost you were…you always had something positive to say. I admired that in you so much because when you don't have control of what is going on in your life (and really it's laughable to think we have control) all you have is faith. And you my friend? You are full of faith. xoxo

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  4. Congratulations! Your car looks beautiful but I know it's so much more meaningful than that after the struggle!! Glad you are through your tough year <3

    Reply
  5. It's crazy how life's stressful stretches often become the ones that make us who we are. I love your you mentality of continuing the fight.

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  6. You are awesome, proud of you! 🙂

    Reply
  7. So proud of you Joey! What a great reminder to never give up even when things don't seem to be going well.

    Reply
  8. Congrats! You kept going and kept your faith, good for you! and now you have a car, yay! So happy for you friend.

    Reply
  9. love this post girl. this is awesome, truly. you are one of the most positive people i have ever 'met'. very happy for you 🙂

    Reply
  10. Love this post so much – thank you for sharing 🙂 I love the real, genuine posts the most and you nailed it.

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  11. Your posts make me happy… that's the most coherent comment for now (but it's true). Thanks for getting real with us 🙂

    Reply
  12. Our 2016 has started off like that, just hit after hit. There has been a lot of frustration and anger and tears and all that jazz. And there are times when perseverance is difficult. But this post, it's a pleasant reminder that fighting through it is so, so worth it. (And I agree with the comment on instagram- Year of the Joey sounds awesome:))

    Reply
  13. It feels so good when we GET that thing (metaphorically) that we've been looking for and working for. Happy things are turning around for you!
    I love a good Roosevelt quote…

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  14. What a thoughtful motivating post! So far 2016 has pulled the rug from under me and I'm hitting a brick wall with so much going on. I definitely need to stick with it, work through it, try it again, and this too shall pass! Thank you for the insight that times to get better and it can be rough for a while with the possibility of a silver lining of help! =)

    Melanie | Blog: Toots + Dill

    Reply

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