We spend a lot of time stuck inside of choices that we know were mistakes because we are too proud or too embarrassed to just admit that we changed our minds. What’s wrong with trying something?
I think that’s maybe why so many of us are afraid to try anything. Because what happens if we try it and realize it’s not right? Tell me which is worse– trying something and changing your mind, or not trying at all for fear it’s not right?
When it’s put that way, it’s a pretty obvious choice, right? Exactly. That’s what I thought.
Just because you make a choice doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to change your mind. I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago–and she was confessing that she was just so afraid of making the wrong choice. Of living the rest of her life stuck inside all of her mistakes. And hearing her admit that shattered me, because until that very moment, I hadn’t realized that was exactly what I was afraid of, too.
When someone comes to me for advice, I can find the words to shock them back to life. And far too often after ending a call I find myself looking into a mirror shaking my head. Why can you tell them but you can’t take your own advice?
I told this friend to stop putting so much pressure on herself. Make the choice that feels right then reevaluate. If you find you don’t like it, do something else. Simple as that. I told her to be more like a Roomba. When a Roomba hits a wall, it doesn’t just give up, continuing to smack itself into the same corner over and over again. No. It backs up and tries another direction. It might take it a few times to get it right, but that doesn’t stop it from trying. Eventually, the room gets clean.
It’s been a few months, but I’m ready to admit it now. I changed my mind. Only a few months after launching Blush Communications, I dissolved the company. So much work, so many hours, flushed right down the drain. I could very easily see this as a failure, but I don’t feel that way at all. It was entirely my choice, my decision. The point of starting that business was to be my own boss. To do what I wanted. I didn’t know it wasn’t what I wanted until I gave it a shot.
But the truth is, running a freelance communication’s business made me feel important but it sucked the life right out of me. Guess what. When you work for clients–you’re not really your own boss. Instead, you have several bosses. And I wasn’t writing what I wanted to write. I was doing what everyone else wanted me to do. So one morning I woke up, and I dissolved it all. I changed my mind.
I’m one step closer to success because of that, well, failure for lack of a better word. If I never tried it, I would have always wondered.
I chose the route of the Roomba. I hit a wall. I backed up. And now I’m trying a new direction. Eventually, I’ll get it right.
I love the analogy of the Roomba…just because you hit a wall, you aren't stuck, you can go back another way. Good luck on your new endeavors!
Proud of you! Life is too short to pursue things that don't bring happiness or bring us closer to our goals.
"Just because you make a choice doesn't mean you aren't allowed to change your mind." Yes, yes, yes. If only we could truly accept this as truth in our daily lives, think of how much more we'd do.
Good analogy. And I admire your hustle. It's always good to know what doesn't work and as cliche as it is, I'm sure you learned some great lessons in your venture that you can carry over into whatever it is you DO want to do. And when you figure that out, let me know. Maybe it's what I want to do, too.
Love this!!!! And good for you for realizing that what you were doing wasn't making you happy. Now you have time to focus on something else that will. I have done the exact same thing recently and it felt so freeing to drop what was weighing me down. While I still don't know what I want to focus on next, I can say I know what I don't want. Here's to finding the happy!
I'm so with you. I love the Roomba analogy. I've definitely been there before, especially with career changes. I'm now on my third and I never think of it as a "mistake" or a waste of time. They are all learning experiences.
congrats on making the right decision for you girl. nothing wrong with that. you'd have spent your life wondering, for sure. love the roomba analogy. i think i get like this sometimes, scared to do something big in case it's the wrong thing, and sometimes i just ignore it and pretend the choice isn't there (like moving to australia or staying here, too big, too scary) but for other things i'm normally able to convince myself to give something a try and reevaluate if it doesn't work out.
Like everybody else, I'm so in love with the Roomba analogy! And, as always, I admire your honesty. I think it was much more a learning experience than a failure, for what it's worth. 🙂
xoxo
Kat
Such a great post. I love your positive attitude and how you never give up! It's very inspiring!
Great post and very inspiring! I keep changing my mind lately and I am okay with that for the first time in my life. Keep at it and you will get there!
Brava, It's amazing what we actually learn when we feel like we've let ourselves down. I've tried a lot in the last few years when it comes to pursuing interests and, even if nothing ever comes of some of it, I'm glad to have the experiences. They'll serve me somehow.
We'll eventually get it close to right!
I LOVE this! You're so right. We are often afraid of trying something for fear that we'll be stuck or that we'll "fail." I'm pretty sure no one thinks a Roombah "fails" because it hits a wall, right? I quite enjoyed that analogy! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your heart!
Oh girl, I feel that way a lot. Especially right now. We're trying to decide if we should sell our house and move. I'm so afraid to sell at the wrong point, or pay too much in rent when our mortgage is so low. I have made decisions before and they were the wrong ones (life changing decisions) so now I'm gun shy. I need to stop being afraid. Things happen. That's life. Thanks friend. 🙂
Man, you speak right to my soul. The past year or so I have felt like I'm right on the edge, ready to jump and try that next thing or work toward those big scary goals- but often I back up at the last second, not ready to try…. but you nailed it. What's the harm in trying? And really once you realize it's not working it rarely feels like failure- it usually just feels kind of meh, and then it's easy to move to the next thing. Thanks for the advice and for letting me work through my thoughts in your comment section once a week 🙂