Stuff & Things: Is this As Hard As It Gets?

by | Dec 31, 2015 | Throwback | 13 comments


You’ve been here, so you know.  But in case some of you are new, let me break it down for you.  This year, to date, has been the hardest yet.  There’s been a lot of fun, excitement, and joy mixed in, sure.  But at the root, at its core, 2015 kicked. our. ass.

In early December, 2014, everything changed.  A life we’d been building, growing, and thriving in was ripped away from us out of the blue.  Something we’d relied so heavily on for years, something we’d found a great bit of comfort in, football, was suddenly out the window, and we were left standing stunned and numb, without a single clue what 2015 would end up looking like for us.
Without anywhere else to turn, I took the reigns and threw everything we had into God.  I tried to find the reasons and the lessons, trusting God an His plan for our lives.  Despite being absolutely terrified, I had an odd sense of peace and confidence that everything would be okay in the end.
This year has looked different in many, many ways.  And to be quite honest, every time we thought we had our footing, the rug would be ripped from underneath us and we’d be left scrambling again.  But if we zoom out and take a look at the big picture, it’s abundantly clear that God had his hands all over this.

There were some great lessons to be learned this year.  Chief among them, never say never.  As I drove out of Charlotte back in March, 2013, I sobbed.  It was like a bad breakup scene.  I loved Charlotte, and I loved the little life we had here.  And we knew, without a doubt, that in our football driven lives, we wouldn’t ever be back.  A hard truth to swallow, but I made my peace and moved forward.  But when 2015 was just barely underway, we made the impossible happen.  Back to Charlotte we went, in kind of a rush no less.

But then the devil got his hands on us.  And I’m here to tell you this, the devil doesn’t look like you’d expect him to.  No.  He’s dressed up like everything you’ve ever wanted, disguised in stability and wealth, then drops you flat on your face.  We escaped narrowly and only by the hands and help of people who love us more than they love themselves.  I don’t know how to describe it necessarily, but there’s an overall stinging feeling throughout your body when you’re in the throws of something you know in your gut isn’t right.  Try to listen to that feeling.  Trust your gut.

The truth is, we don’t regret anything that happened this year despite how hard it all was.  We learned a lot about ourselves, about what we want and what we don’t.  We learned that we actually can make it through anything.  In our vows, we promised for better or worse.  We’ve seen our fair share of both in our short marriage, but 2015 will definitely go down in the record books as one of our hardest years.

We’ve made it onto the other side.  We never let ourselves get too comfortable because one thing we know for sure is anything and everything can change on a dime.  But as this year winds down and wraps up, I have to say I’m proud.  I’m proud of how we survived.  I’m humbled by those who helped us along the way.  And good God almighty, I’m ready for 2016!

And just to add some humor to this otherwise heavy post, this about sums up our 2015, don’tcha think.

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13 Comments

  1. Sometimes you have to fall before you can rise, I honestly feel like that is the story of my life right now, but I keep looking ahead and know it will all work out, cheers to a new year!

    Reply
  2. I'm right there with you. You have to hit the bottom before you can rise, and right now, I am just trying to keep my head above water until we get to what we're meant to do and be. Happy new year, lady! xo, Champagne&Suburbs

    Reply
  3. i'm sorry that 2015 was not so great – i can only hope 2016 is a million times better for you. happy NYE girl 🙂 that gif though.. hilarious.

    Reply
  4. Love that you're not only so honest about letting God take the reigns, but also that it doesn't necessarily automatically get easier once you let God take over.

    Wishing you the BEST 2016 ever!

    Reply
  5. Here is hoping that 2016 is better for you, sending lots of hugs!

    Reply
  6. 2014 kicked my ass the way 2015 did for you. Hopefully (fingers crossed), even years ARE good for you. Sending good thoughts your way…

    Reply
  7. I'm so with you! 2015 stunk for us and I pray 2016 is much better! We all survived it though and are stronger and wiser for it! Happy New Year!!!

    Reply
  8. Happy New Year, my friend! May 2016 be better than ever. xo

    Reply
  9. Cheers to surviving the year! Lessons learned aren't fun when you're in the throes of it but the sense of pride after you've endured is priceless. Here's to a smooth 2016!

    Reply
  10. THIS. This is exactly how I feel about 2015. I'm thankful for you, but SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU GO. Cheers to an incredible 2016 that treats us much better.

    Reply
  11. Oh, I'm so with you on all of this. 2015 was such a beautiful year, but it was also incredibly challenging (and even terrible) at times. Wishing you a wonderful 2016, friend!

    xoxo
    Kat

    Reply
  12. I hate hate hate that you guys had to endure struggles this year. BUT I do know from my own personal experience that those years are the ones that absolutely mold you, better you, and put you on the right path. 2016 will be better!!!!! XOXO Love you sweet friend!

    Reply

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