Sundays look a little different around here lately. Kim (you know, my blogging friend who turned out to be my freaking neighbor) and I make a point to try to meet on Sundays to handle blog stuff. It keeps us accountable, we bounce ideas off one another, and to be honest? It’s nice to work with a friend. Blogging can feel sort of isolating sometimes, so it’s fun to feel like I have a “coworker.” Does that make any sense?
Anyway.
On Sunday, we took the light rail into the city to check out Amelie’s new uptown location. While these meetings are primarily about blogging, we end up doing some catching up, just chatting in general.
We hadn’t seen each other in a couple weeks (Kim is a bit of a travel bug), so we had a lot to catch up on. And it’s no secret that things have been pretty rough around here lately. But something shifted in the last few days, a breakthrough maybe. And it didn’t become apparent to me until it was in my face on Sunday.
I get laser focused when things aren’t going well. I can’t see outside of it. I speak it over and over. I complain (I know, shocker, right?). And you guys? We create our own realities with our words; with how we let ourselves believe things are. I’ve been toxic the last few months, focused on all the wrong things, and only expressing my disappointments, my frustrations, my failures. I can’t tell you how many times the phrase I can’t do this literally came out of my mouth.
And most of that talk was surrounding my inability to find balance. To find focus. I was letting the excuses dictate my happiness. And I was letting my life run me. And then a dear friend called me out on my shit. I’m not kidding, they basically told me that I can convince myself that it’s because of xyz that I’m stalled out, spinning my tires. But the reality was that I was standing in my own way, and until I just owned it, I wasn’t going to get anywhere.
Talk about a reality check, huh? The shift didn’t come immediately, but my eyes were definitely open after that, and so were my ears. I could hear the words coming out of my mouth, and even I was sick of myself. And once I was aware of it, things started to change.
As we were sitting in Amelie’s on Sunday, I told Kim I felt better than I had in months. I was excited and happy again. And the truth is, the crap that I’ve been dealing with hasn’t exactly gone anywhere, it’s still there, and it’s still a big deal. But I’ve stopped letting it dictate and control my life. Instead, I’ve started speaking about the things that make me happy, sharing the things I love.
This weekend was one of the best I’ve had in months. Everyone around me was in a good mood, and it felt contagious. But then it dawned on me that maybe I’ve been getting my own attitude mirrored back to me all this while. If I’m a cranky bitch, that’s all I’m going to see. If I’m happy and excited and sharing what I love, maybe that’s what’s contagious.
The truth is, none of us are immune to the realities of life. You see it everywhere, Adulting is hard. But time doesn’t stop just because things get hard. And that’s important to remember for two reasons: 1) it’s not permanent. Things always change. But also, 2) that you aren’t able to get this time back. It’s still time that’s precious. And you have the capacity to shift your perspective on things and pave the way to your own happiness.
Not to get all self-helpy on you or anything, but sometimes we all could use a bit of a reality check.
In other, partially unrelated news, the s’mores French macaron from Amelie’s? holy sweet goodness, you guys!! Also, I could go for another round of that iced mocha. Freaking delish.
**Housekeeping Note: just to keep you all in the loop, I’m currently operating on a Tuesday-Friday blogging schedule to try to keep some semblance of sanity around these parts. Okay, carry on 🙂
That does look delicious! And can I say thank you for a reality check? Life has gotten bumpy lately. You're right, adulting is hard. I've been letting little things pile up and bring me way down. I just needed this.
Happy to hear that you are taking control of things and that you are not letting things get to you (as much as they had previously!) xo, Biana –BlovedBoston
Oh girl I love this. Yes, I have been feeling the same way with staying home. It's been hard and I've been so negative about it. But if I switch my perspective (which I'm working on) it will get better. So glad you're feeling in a better place now! It feels good to be happy. 🙂
Love this! So happy to hear you're in a better place, and how awesome that you and Kim get together to work on blog stuff for the week 🙂
Green Fashionista
This is a hard truth to recognize, but still the truth nonetheless. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability with all of us.
Such an honest and well-written post as always, friend! Definitely something I've been struggling with lately myself.
xoxo
Kat
so true.. we have the ability to change your perspective. my boss used to say perception is nine tenths reality. true or not, it impacts a lot that's for sure!
I am so happy that you are in a better place, hugs!
AMEN!!!! I'm so glad we have our "blogging meetings" now, they are actually so much fun and I really do look forward to them. And having a shift in perspective is huge. It really changes everything, even though nothing changes…If that makes sense. I'm telling you it's all about "The Secret"!
Bravo for sharing! You're not alone. Being an adult is tough and often I just want to hide from my responsibilities too. Kudos to you for facing it and working on it.
You are so right, I do feel like sometimes others pick up on our attitudes or moods and give it back to us. Who doesn't want to focus on the positive things? Sometimes we just need a reminder. Now pass one of those smores macaroons over here, huh?
Love this! I do this all the time – in fact I am currently trying to get into a better mood right now. However, I still do get stuck on deciding if things are actual excuses, or if I am the one in the way. For example – if you are stuck in something because you are waiting on someone else – does that mean you are still in the way of yourself, or is there more you can do? Very vague, I know, but something I struggle with!