I just got off the phone with my best friend, our second chat of the day, a rarity. I’ve come to expect her call mid-morning as she’s walking with her daughter. It’s usually what marks my transition from writer to nanny. But tonight, our unexpected conversation was all about what happens when things don’t turn out like we planned.
We’re a lot alike, she and I. We’re dedicated, loyal, and most of all chronically optimistic. So when we’re faced with a fork in the road, the ending of one chapter for another, we typically take a deep breath, pull up our big girl panties, and deal.
We’ve dealt with a lot of life in the nine years we’ve been friends. I guess that’s how your twenties are supposed to go. Everything happens so fast in an attempt to set you up the rest of your life. But a decade doesn’t seem like fair enough a time for that sort of thing. You transition from kid to functioning adult, and suddenly you’re just supposed to know how to do everything. Every choice, every decision suddenly carries so much weight.
Our conversation was pretty serious tonight, the end of something big. When you’re a kid and someone doesn’t keep their promise, your feelings get hurt. When you’re an adult and someone doesn’t keep their promise, lives get ripped to shreds.
So when something ends; when something you were counting on doesn’t work out. When your life doesn’t go as planned, you have two choices. You can curl into yourself, dwelling on it, constantly feeling the loss. Or you can take a step back, evaluate, see where things might have gone wrong, and adjust your sails.
Easier said than done, my friends. I know this. But I guess that’s all part of being an adult, too. When we fall and scrape our knees, there’s no one waiting with a bandaid and a shoulder to cry on. You have to pick yourself up and tell yourself you’ll be fine.
The fact is, sometimes the only way to learn a lesson is to learn it the hard way. To let the hurt in. It’s just a normal day. A regular Tuesday. We all go about our lives, week by week. But you never know when something will end. It comes at you out of the blue. Life was normal, and within one split second, one decision changes everything as you know it.
That’s the hardest part about being an adult for me, I think. Is knowing everything we do is collected into a series of choices that pave out our lives.
Yes to all of this!!! Life happens and things can get messy sometimes and that's okay.
You are both extremely strong women and this post is just so spot on. Love to both of y'all! <3
If shit didn't hit the fan then we'd be in utopia —- I have said that a few times. I hope your friend finds some sunshine and strength to pull through this. I'm sure she will with you as her friend! xo
This is such a great post, all so true! Life is a huge roller coaster ride!
I like the idea that we DO have two choices and the way we choose to go when a plan is interrupted is definitely a CHOICE. Along with the dwelling on it, if you choose to go the way of changing things, you can fall into the trap of overanalyzing. Adjusting your sails might actually be a third choice in the grand scheme of things (speaking from experience 🙂
plans rarely go as we hoped, but hey, I got a husband and a baby out of it 🙂 I think everything happens for a reason and whether or not it reveals itself then, you'll see soon enough why things happened the way it did.
liz @ sundays with sophie
Love this post! Definitely needed this reminder today. 🙂
xoxo
Kat
um yes, this is spot freaking on. so true. i used to be really bad about making choices for fear of making a mistake, but really, the mistakes and shit happen regardless, you might as well do what you want to do, you know?
This post is so true. You never really know what plans are going to stick and which ones get so far off track that you don't even remember what the original plan was. I am with Kristen, mistakes and shit happen no matter what you do. All you can do is live in the moment.
While I am not super religious, the serenity prayer is my favorite thing to turn to when I don't know what to do. It reminds me that I am only in control of myself and every other thing in this world is not under my control. It takes a lot of weight off my shoulders every time I recite it and it makes me feel A LOT better when things aren't going my way/as planned.
Also gratitude lists! Have you ever done those? They are life changing.
Some of the best things that have happened to me have been the result of mistakes. 🙂
Plans always change but they guide us towards a new direction, a direction we don't know yet but will in the end. Loved this post!!! So true!
What a great post! I love your writing style. Especially after having kids, now I think. God, if I make a mistake it changes their lives too! Lucky for me I never make mistakes. HAHAHAH. Thanks for sharing as always!
Annie- All Things Big and Small
What a great post! I love your writing style. Especially after having kids, now I think. God, if I make a mistake it changes their lives too! Lucky for me I never make mistakes. HAHAHAH. Thanks for sharing as always!
Annie- All Things Big and Small