It’s Simple.
I’ve spent a lot of time lately stewing over certain friendships. I’ve contemplated ideas of how to fix things. I’ve wondered if I’ve done something wrong or if time has simply changed us. I’ve gone back and forth over how I should address the issue and even if I should address the issue.
So I wrote an email. I spilled my guts and explained everything as clearly as I possibly could. And then I read it over and over again. I realized that I was basically asking why this person doesn’t invite me to do things with them. And it all suddenly became very simple and clear. I decided against sending it.
If they wanted me in their life, they’d have me in their life.
I hate that it’s that simple. I hate that I feel like I’m the only person trying to hold on to a friendship that apparently died a long time ago. Part of me feels like I’m being unfair by simply walking away. The other part of me feels like I’m pathetically begging for my friend to want to hang out with me. It’s all a very pathetic situation.
I feel like I’m back in high school wondering if the boy I like likes me back based on his one word answers. I remember asking my mom why he doesn’t call me because all I want to do is talk to him all day long. And my mom simply replied if he wanted to talk to you, he’d call.
Brutal? Yes.
Harsh? Sure.
The truth? Absolutely.
And the same applies here.
It’s a sad reality when someone you used to rely on and depend on so much through out your life simply disappears from your every day. But I guess that’s all part of growing up, huh?
Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up.
-the ataris
