This morning I woke up, and J was there beside me. In my sleep, I must have forgotten he was back. I wish I could describe to you the sense of relief I felt when I saw him laying there.
It’s over, guys. The last few months have been some of the hardest I’ve gone through. Call me dramatic, I don’t care. It just isn’t something I was prepared to ever do. It’s not something I ever wish to do again. I learned a lot about myself, about my marriage. That period (see that? Past tense? I’m so thankful I get to refer to it that way now) will be something I’ll always remember. It’ll seem brief in my memory. And I’m sure in relevance to life and to what others go through it really was. But no matter, I felt a kind of pain I didn’t think was possible. I’m so, so grateful it’s over. I’m so grateful we’re back together as we should be. I’m not cut out for the long distance marriage thing, in case you couldn’t tell.
I’m going through our stuff. I know the movers will pack everything for us, but there’s no sense in them packing trash. Or junk. So I’ve been sifting through everything. It’s amazing, even after all these moves, the things I’ve been finding. Old photos stuffed in an envelope in a drawer. Old notes passed between the hub and me in high school. A letter of encouragement from an old roommate whom I don’t even speak to anymore. When you think back over your life, it’s so easy to forget tiny moments.
I hesitated to write this post. It’s not full of pictures or funny quips. But that’s another thing that I’ve looking back through–this blog. Long before I ever knew about followers or even knew if anyone ever read this blog, I wrote real, meaningful posts. Posts I’m thankful I wrote. Posts that actually had me writing. It’s not to say that I won’t be keeping up with some of the fun, fluffy posts, but it might be time I get back to the root of who I am–what this blog was meant to be.
Life: it’s on the brink of change once again. I feel very much like I did in the months leading up to our wedding–excited and scared. I’m entering into my very last week of traditional work after which I’ll be taking the much anticipated leap into writing full time.
Anything got you thinking, lately? Anything you’re reminiscing about? Any stories from your past lingering in your mind lately? I’d love it if you’d share.
So pleased that you and your husband are back together! I think people handle situations of that magnitude in various ways and it's ok if that's not something you can handle easily. I'm glad things worked out and came through for you though! 🙂 I love looking back over old notes and such, it's a calming of the heart activity to me!
Was the hubs gone for work?! I'm so glad to hear you two are back together– it puts a smile on my face, and believe me, that is pretty tough to do this early on a Monday morning! Ty and I are long distance bf/gf– but only about an hour and a half away. I can relate– it is tough! But you made it, YAY!
xo
SO glad it's over!
Sometimes, I can't believe deployment is actually over. I probably sound like a total broken record. But for so long (11 months) it was all I knew. Knowing that a year ago I was in the throes of absolute "ugh"-ness doesn't seem possible. Time has gone so fast! (in a sense)
I'm glad you're back together 🙂